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Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
8,854 posts, read 10,422,059 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caladium
Well--I've decided to do it! I've decided to be a "Beauty Renegade" like Jamie Lee Curtis, go grey and see what happens.
Yeah, some women like Curtis or say, Helen Miren can pull it off, and frankly, they'd look great no matter what. But for the average gal, am usually kinda thinkin' either Aunt Bee or else, ''My other car's a broom!''
Is Aunt Bee's look all about being grey? In other words, would Aunt Bee look that much different if her bun was blonde? The reason she looks so matronly has more to do with the grandma hairstyle, as well as the floppy weight and the dowdy old lady dresses. Jamie Lee Curtis looks good because she's fit, she has a contemporary haircut, and she doesn't wear dowdy old lady dresses.
My mother refused to color her hair out of some "priniciple" on aging gracefully. We tried to tell her at 50 that it really was NOT flattering at all. Her hair didn't turn grey all over - it was more or less in "patches." But she insisted that this was her way of aging naturally and gracefully and that other women looked awful with "dyed hair."
Well, we tried to point out that Nancy Reagan looked wonderful and my mom should try a color similar to hers, but nope. Mom would hear nothing of it. People used to ask my sisters and I - why isn't your mother doing something about her hair? IT WAS UGLY.
Now she it 83 and it still looks ugly. And for 30 years, she has looked dowdy (no matter how much she dresses up and she literally puts on make up and nice clothing, with jewelry, daily). Her hair always dragged her down and everyone else could see it - except mom.
She kept telling us that "your father prefers it this way" but the truth was - Dad hated it, but my mother is a rager so if he had given a different opinion he would have lived in hell about it, so he just always told her - "oh yes, it looks very nice." But he would tell us - "wish you could talk her into coloring her hair."
One of the first things my husband asked me when he met my mother was - "Why doesn't she color her hair? She looks 15 years older b/f of that awful grey hair!" And he was quick to then ask - "You do plan to color your hair, right?" Well, I had been coloring it since I was in my early 30s b/c -- like my dad -- I turned grey prematurely.
My dad has beautiful white hair - WHITE! - as did his mom. My one sister and I inherited those genetics, evidently, as we would have nearly white hair if we didn't color our hair. We have talked many times about letting it go natural and then coloring it (or using some kind of rinse) to make sure it stayed "bright" - or process it with a platinum color.
I think about this quite often but I have tried on wigs in platinum - and here is the thing. As long as it is a short cut - no longer than a short bob - it looks terrific on me. Very chic. But with long hair - I look freakish and unkempt - even scary, lololol. I want to keep my hair long (for now - may change my mind next week!) and so at this time, coloring my hair is the best choice for me. I get compliments on my hair color regularly as I am a redhead.
I think that hair color is a lifestyle choice. It is a regimen you have to stick to. I also think it is one of the most important details about a person (especially a woman) as people will remember your hair color when they can't really even remember your facial features that well. How do we describe others? The redhead. The blonde. The brunette.
Whatever message folks want to send - that is tied to their hair color. No color of hair looks good if it is not well-groomed. But all colors and grey, in particular, will not look flattering on every person, either. So if you are satisfied with grey and feel it sends the message to the world that you want, then good for you! And if you feel being a blonde is more compatible with your features and the message you want to send, good for you, too!
The way I see it, my mother made herself look older and haggard and dowdy b/c of her hairstyle, yet she spent so much money on perms (helmet head!) and jewlery and makeup and clothing. No matter what she did, tho, she still looked dowdy and unsophisticated b/c of her unevenly greyed hair. Plus, the way it greyed, with so so much dark hair around her face, the back area made her hair look thin.
We should see ourselves as others see us. If you look at pictures and you feel good about the persona you are projecting to others - then enjoy your hair color, whether its natural or from a bottle. That is, in the end, all that matters. But do take the time to see how others see you! B/c what we may perceive as being attractive may give the wrong impression about us to others (unless we are fine with others seeing us as unsophisticated and dowdy).
I have known women with beautiful grey hair who were vibrant, sexy and would turn anyone's eye. Not everyone looks great with it, but if you are one of those who enjoys it and likes the way it makes you feel - GOOD FOR YOU! Do what makes you happy.
Life is all about choices. And whether anyone likes it or not, how we look leaves an impression with others, and that includes family members and friends, not just strangers you will never see again! Whatever you choose to do with your hair (or not do!) . . . just make sure you are doing it b/c that is how you feel most comfortable. And make sure you are seeing yourself as others see you b/f you assume that the colored hair or the grey hair is actually "who you are."
Aging gracefully has a lot more to do with attitude than hair color, as I tried to explain to my mom. Stubbornly insisting that grey is natural and therefore "the best way to age" is not only silly, it is untrue. Whatever makes you feel good about yourself is the best way to age.
One thing I notice as my gray (really silvery white) hair blends with my blond), I am able to wear colors that I never could when I had weaves....my natural color hair along with the shiny gray allows me to wear all shades of pink which I could not when my hair was dyed. I also think that as the gray comes in, it softens our faces - dying your hair a darker color than it naturally wants to be can add age to your face and make wrinkles more pronounced.
I am also less patient when it comes to going to the hairdresser....I get my hair cut regularly but I hate the invasion of my time that coloring appointments takes (along with the money)....for me, natural is best...and I don't want to look like I'm trying to hard to look young. I am completely comfortable with who I am and what I am becoming.
One thing I notice as my gray (really silvery white) hair blends with my blond), dying your hair a darker color than it naturally wants to be can add age to your face and make wrinkles more pronounced.
Blonde to gray isn't as stark as brunette to gray. I look awful with gray hair and as a blonde. I am very careful to keep the color natural. When I color, I immediately shampoo to remove the excess. My hair takes color very well, so shampooing does not cause it fade - at least not right away. Only if I leave the color on too long might it get too dark. For the most part, it's fine. I end up with shiny, bouncy hair, with far more body and manageability. I, too, don't like a strong, harsh color. Both my sister (64) and I color, and neither of us looks unnatural, yet.
Blonde to gray isn't as stark as brunette to gray. I look awful with gray hair and as a blonde. I am very careful to keep the color natural. When I color, I immediately shampoo to remove the excess. My hair takes color very well, so shampooing does not cause it fade - at least not right away. Only if I leave the color on too long might it get too dark. For the most part, it's fine. I end up with shiny, bouncy hair, with far more body and manageability. I, too, don't like a strong, harsh color. Both my sister (64) and I color, and neither of us looks unnatural, yet.
Curious what brand you use?
My niece cautions women against most commercial haircolor, as it damages hair and is also highly toxic.
When I have to begin coloring, which I will happily do (I am a designer and artist, so I will have fun with this), I intend to use something found in Whole Foods (no, not beets or carrots, lol).
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
8,854 posts, read 10,422,059 times
Reputation: 6670
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caladium
Is Aunt Bee's look all about being grey? In other words, would Aunt Bee look that much different if her bun was blonde? The reason she looks so matronly has more to do with the grandma hairstyle, as well as the floppy weight and the dowdy old lady dresses. Jamie Lee Curtis looks good because she's fit, she has a contemporary haircut, and she doesn't wear dowdy old lady dresses.
You're right, there's more to it than just the hair color, and why grey still looks fine on some women (even if it might not always be the most flattering choice). But as with Anifani's stubborn mom, it's not simply about the 'grey', as it is the way in which it also occasionally telegraphs that certain kinda defiant ''attitude'', that 'this is what I want no matter what, and I just don't care what anyone else thinks'!
Which is certainly folks' right... although a dogged ''my-way-or-the-highway'' attitude can often leave an even stronger impression than just one's haircolor (and BTW, there are male equivalents for this too)!
it's not simply about the 'grey', as it is the way in which it also occasionally telegraphs that certain kinda defiant ''attitude'', that 'this is what I want no matter what, and I just don't care what anyone else thinks'!
Which is certainly folks' right... although a dogged ''my-way-or-the-highway'' attitude can often leave an even stronger impression than just one's haircolor (and BTW, there are male equivalents for this too)!
My way or the highway? I'm not sure what would serve as "the highway", but I do agree that people should choose "my way" when it comes to having their hair look the way they like it. It's your hair. Why should anyone else decide how it should look?
Meanwhile, I like the idea that having grey hair telegraphs a defiant attitude. Defiantly grey--yeah, I definitely like that. And here I was worried that going grey would make me look mousey. Not me--I'm defiantly grey!
The first thing I look for when I see an "older" woman with smooth skin and colored hair is signs of a face lift. I just can't help myself. When I see photographs of actresses and models that have lovely gray or white hair, I also notice that 99% have also had work on their face and neck. Nevertheless...
I intend to let my hair go gray. Right now I have the silver threads; y'all know what I mean. My hair is currently shoulder length and always pulled back and held by a clip or in a pony tail. I had one haircut (a reverse bob) last spring following a year without any cuts. I only wear makeup when going into work. If I start applying makeup every time I leave the house, well, that will mean that it's time to put me down.
I've decided to take my cue from my N.A. great grandmother and let my hair grow longer and wear it in a braid. After reading this thread, I conducted a brief internet search and found some really cool looking loose braids on senior ladies. Unfortunately, most of those models had face and neck work done and I'd like to see how they look without the enhancements. Although I'm not absolutely opposed to cosmetic surgery, it goes against my feminist leanings and creates a bit of an internal struggle for me.
So, for now, my plans are no coloring of my hair and no surgical enhancements.
Wow, love this thread, but have been off line for a couple of days due to work, too many events, and not to mention a significant decade birthday thus past week (how did I ever become 60??). Haven't read all, but coloring my hair is THE one thing I give myself. I am not a clothes hog, a shoe person, a furniture person, etc. so I figure this is the one splurge I make. I believe in the highlights as there is no way someone my age would have just one color hair. But I also feel there is a point where I will go grey in some form as I also don't think it looks right later to not have grey. Right now I work around young kids, it's bad enough they try to guess my age, I don't need to give them grey hair too! After I retire though, we will see. Once at the hair dressers I saw an older woman with what I called the reverse, with the gray but the undertones of the color below that. I liked that. So, as long as I can splurge on my one vice, I'll keep coloring in some form, even if it is to eventually go grey.
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