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Ambrozia and Pokee, I haven't been on city-data for a while, so just saw your posts. I gave up on the idea of moving to Sun City-----I think........! I enjoy being around people of all ages and also enjoy kids, so decided I was better off where I am. And I admit that the increased traffic still bothers me. I have begun to settle in here and make friends (at last!) and realize that if I were to move across the valley I more than likely wouldn't see them again. Plus I have been fostering another dog and want to adopt him. Most retirement communities, including Sun City, allow only one pet, if any. But that doesn't mean that I will never move there. It's still in the back of my mind. I will have a decreased income on social security in about 2 years-----that may necessitate a move due to income restraints eventually, and Sun City still seems the best place with that in mind. Hopefully I will be able to remain in my current home for at least 5 years and possibly up to 10 years. There are so many variables that it's impossible to plan accurately. I'm always interested in what others recommend.
Married retired people are attached at the hip. I don't just see this in my new place. I see it with retired friends I visit in other states who are my age or younger. Women who would do things without their spouse when they were working now don't make a move without their husbands having to go along, too. If the husband doesn't go, they don't go. I find it annoying. It's like they are no longer individuals. If you are a single retired female, tell me you don't see this with your married retired friends.
Yes, I am also fairly newly retired ( a little over 2 years now) and it annoys the heck out of me. What did he do before I retired? And, why can't he do anything at all by himself? And, he hates it when I say I MUST get away for a little while by myself. So danged needy! There are times when I wonder if I would actually prefer to be alone and if I want a divorce.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sassykat&joe
... What did he do before I retired? And, why can't he do anything at all by himself? ... So danged needy! ...
You need to get out more... and so does he.
Set some boundaries to allocate time to yourselves. (There is a book by this title, EZ to get on paperbackbookswap))
Different for everyone, but we love being together and get by fine being apart when necessary (20 of last 24 months due to overseas temp employment and a variety of elder care and family needs).
Tough to train an old dog, but don't let him control your sanity and freedom.
Space is healthy for healthy couples.
Improve your health, it is worth it.
resetting your life is pretty traumatic for both at this point. Spend the time and energy to re-create a healthy relationship work for both.
Oh gosh. What I meant by this thread was a continuation of the very first post: Women retiring alone and moving to a new place alone. I had hoped to attract some of the women who had posted on the first thread to see how their plans had actually worked out, or not. I guess too many of those women have indeed moved on to another phase in their lives and are not on here any longer. Just wanted to know if women who had planned, researched and faced the fears of going somewhere alone to live actually DID IT. My idea truly is a flop.
Not a flop. I will contribute. I posted my story on the other thread because I didn't see this one. I had posted that I was contemplating a move from Portland OR to somewhere way back in the early days of Wisteria's thread. I chose Cleveland, OH as my destination. I would up in Cleveland Heights.
First I must say moving cross country when I was in my 30's was a piece of cake. Moving back cross country in my 60's was a nightmare. People asked me how I did it. I don't think I know other than I knew I had to.
Portland was horrible for me. I am so glad to be away from there. I miss friends and a few stores and that's about it. I like my new town and everything in it. I have begun to see doctors for a rare illness I have which made Cleveland high on my relocation list and they have many more avenues of treatment than my Portland docs ever dreamed of.
Sadly, my beloved kitty, Gracie passed away last February and so didn't make the move with me in June. But I am here now and am trying to make friends via the local senior citizens center and any other way I can think of. It's lonely but I am glad I made the move.
I promised myself that if I didn't have a new little circle of friends within a couple of years I would be looking at an over 55 community where there would be many folks around my age with whom I could connect. I don't drive but am near some good bus lines so I have to depend upon public transportation to get me to activities so it would be nice to have activities around me. We shall see.
Life is an ongoing process. Until you're dead. And in the immortal words of Monty Python, "I'm not dead yet!"
I have already retired, and I would (fantasy maybe) like to live out my days
in Marinaleda, a town in the Seville region of Spain.
first, I'd have to learn Spanish. Without knowing Spanish even websites are not helpful.
I did find a resident there on facebook, and was communicating with him, but he dropped away.
I have a friend who is visiting Spain, and I asked him - if he is anywhere nearby - to check out the town and see if someone there would want to be my "pen-pal".
I read a book about the town. But the book does not say how it would be for someone coming in from outside. Especially a single woman.
I know there are ex-pats there, but the ones I know of are couples; which is surely easier if you are a couple.
I have spoke of my dream to a couple of my friends, and maybe one of them will go with me.
Even if it's a dream - well, we have to dream, right?
Quote:
Originally Posted by pokee
this is NOT a "flop" ... have been following Wisteria's thread for years and still don't know where I am heading ... I hope this thread will give me some additional info
Minerva, my father moved into a "senior community" must be some 30 years ago
At the time he moved there he would have been late '60's maybe 70 years old, and married.
They made a lot of friends. Now that his wife died last year, I am happy he has so many good friends.
And there is a grieving group, and a singles group, and friends in his circle go out to eat every so often, and sometimes he has them to his place.
It has worked out well for him.
I myself live in a "Senior Housing" building, lots of folks my age, and older. (I am 67). I personally would rather have a mix of ages. Next door is a senior center, I don't find the activities very stimulating, but yours may be different.
I take a class in this program for people over 52 - classes are taught by retired university professors, and probably it is a good way to make friends, altho that was not my first purpose.
My first purpose was to stimulate the brain! And that is happening. Again, tho, I would prefer a mix of ages. Other than that I enjoy it.
sorry for the loss of your cat. I have an elderly cat (15). well that is not extremely old, but she has a variety of health problems.
I hope you make friends and find people who share your interests. Be patient with yourself.
When I moved to the town I live in now, I was only 45, but it took me a few years to make friends, and find organizations that interested me.
It's sure not like college, where it was so easy to make friends.
Hope you post to let us know how you are doing.
And good luck with your medical treatment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah
Not a flop. I will contribute. I posted my story on the other thread because I didn't see this one. I had posted that I was contemplating a move from Portland OR to somewhere way back in the early days of Wisteria's thread. I chose Cleveland, OH as my destination. I would up in Cleveland Heights.
First I must say moving cross country when I was in my 30's was a piece of cake. Moving back cross country in my 60's was a nightmare. People asked me how I did it. I don't think I know other than I knew I had to.
Portland was horrible for me. I am so glad to be away from there. I miss friends and a few stores and that's about it. I like my new town and everything in it. I have begun to see doctors for a rare illness I have which made Cleveland high on my relocation list and they have many more avenues of treatment than my Portland docs ever dreamed of.
Sadly, my beloved kitty, Gracie passed away last February and so didn't make the move with me in June. But I am here now and am trying to make friends via the local senior citizens center and any other way I can think of. It's lonely but I am glad I made the move.
I promised myself that if I didn't have a new little circle of friends within a couple of years I would be looking at an over 55 community where there would be many folks around my age with whom I could connect. I don't drive but am near some good bus lines so I have to depend upon public transportation to get me to activities so it would be nice to have activities around me. We shall see.
Life is an ongoing process. Until you're dead. And in the immortal words of Monty Python, "I'm not dead yet!"
YOOHOO----hi grrls!
I LOVE this thread, so thank you for it and for the very first one---what valuable resources--- I've shared the links with a few friends already.
I'm actually ten years from retirement age, but with my health issues I may not be here in ten years, so would like to retire sooner rather than later. My work has been as a caregiver for kids, seniors and the disabled, and frankly I'm not ready to take care of anyone else right now anyway, as my husband is very ill and may not survive the winter, and I feel I am burning out at last. I love animals and can't even contemplate a cat right now, I'm just too tired.
Anyway I already have a camper and truck in which I can live very comfortably, as long as I stay in a temperate climate.
Northern California is on my list, or I would be happy to snowbird if funds allow.
A dear friend who is single will retire in four years or less, and we've decided to co-habitate somehow to share the fun and expenses.
Ideally we will spend a few years traveling and when I get too frail I will either settle down with her or at my daughter's house for the rest of my life.
YOOHOO----hi grrls!
I LOVE this thread, so thank you for it and for the very first one---what valuable resources--- I've shared the links with a few friends already.
I'm actually ten years from retirement age, but with my health issues I may not be here in ten years, so would like to retire sooner rather than later. My work has been as a caregiver for kids, seniors and the disabled, and frankly I'm not ready to take care of anyone else right now anyway, as my husband is very ill and may not survive the winter, and I feel I am burning out at last. I love animals and can't even contemplate a cat right now, I'm just too tired.
Anyway I already have a camper and truck in which I can live very comfortably, as long as I stay in a temperate climate.
Northern California is on my list, or I would be happy to snowbird if funds allow.
A dear friend who is single will retire in four years or less, and we've decided to co-habitate somehow to share the fun and expenses.
Ideally we will spend a few years traveling and when I get too frail I will either settle down with her or at my daughter's house for the rest of my life.
we shall see!
I so admire your spunk. I get to feeling sorry for myself, or at least preoccupied with the problems and decisions surrounding retirement. Then along comes suz1023 who endures all the demands made of a caretaker at work AND at home, who is facing the imminent loss of a life partner, and yet looks forward to the future, has a plan, and is going to "share the fun...". Kudos!
So happy to read some updates and new stories on this post. I spent a week of my life reading the old post Wisteria started and learned so much from the experiences of others.
I retired a year ago at age 53. After leaving a stressful job, I spent a year on chores and spending quality time with my dog and cats. I am moving my 94 yr old mother in with me tomorrow. She's mostly healthy and is pleasant and helpful.
While spending quality time with my mother, I will keep checking this thread to see where others have ended up or are planning to go. Being childless myself, my future is completely open and I enjoy hearing about the towns that other woman retiring alone find attractive.
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I Did It
I have already retired, and I would (fantasy maybe) like to live out my days
