Retirees who are estranged from their adult children (anniversary, cities, cremation)
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I should add that my son was bi-polar, which is the reason, I think, that he couldn't tell the difference between truth & imagination. I had to take everything he said with a grain of salt. I did believe his threats about killing us though.
Thank you for your words, ER. I'm pretty numb right now, but no, I don't feel guilt. The letters he wrote were very descriptive as to what he was going to do & we've all spent the last few years looking over our shoulders & we can now finally relax.
Such a sad story for you meo92953. I am sorry you have had to live in fear from what your son was doing. Bipolar is a horrible illness. The person who suffers with it lives a miserable life. My cousin's daughter had it, too, and was alcoholic/drug addict at times, too. She died a year ago at age 45 from pancreatic cancer. Beautiful girl with a destructive life.
Please love yourself right now. I am sending you big hugs and offer my "shoulder" to you any time you need to talk (or cry) to someone.
I don't know how to say this correctly but my ex just called & told me our son had died. And my first feeling was relief that my family and I can finally relax and quit worrying that he's going to kill us. That is so sad.
I hadn't spoken to my son in over two years because of his threats. Apparently he died of natural causes, his father didn't have all the answers & since it's a holiday we won't get any today. I'm assuming it was his heart, as prior to our not talking he said he had been having heart problems. But, you could never tell when he was making things up or telling the truth.
May he finally rest in peace.
I am so sorry to read this and know of your fear and worry about your son. His horrible nightmare life is over and I also am wishing that he rest in peace. I hope for you, that you can feel the love you had for him, even though you will remember the bad stuff too. I hope you find peace for yourself. God bless.
Can't sleep. Going over pictures in my mind of the relationship my son & I used to have; teaching him how to ride a bike, taking him to different ethnic restaurants each payday - twice a month, my brothers teaching him "guy stuff", having a ball when we visited San Francisco.
The bad years didnt' happen until he was older & after he was diagnosed bi-polar. His mood changes were so erractic.
I'm remembering the good times tonight & how it used to be. Going through pictures of our life together. He was such a sweet boy, so loving- until he wasn't. The good outweighed the bad though, all in all.
I don't know how to say this correctly but my ex just called & told me our son had died. And my first feeling was relief that my family and I can finally relax and quit worrying that he's going to kill us. That is so sad.
I hadn't spoken to my son in over two years because of his threats. Apparently he died of natural causes, his father didn't have all the answers & since it's a holiday we won't get any today. I'm assuming it was his heart, as prior to our not talking he said he had been having heart problems. But, you could never tell when he was making things up or telling the truth.
May he finally rest in peace.
Meo - I just read this - So sorry to hear about your son. Whatever feelings you have you need to just feel them and then put it all away. You can all be at peace now.
Escort - You can be a really sweet guy. Most of the time I like your thinking.
Thank you, NYgal, right now I'm still numb & still taking it in.
As I posted on the chat thread, you're in shock. The loss of a child of any age under any circumstance is a trauma and terrible grief. Our children come through us but we they don't "belong" to us. They make their own way in adult life and suffer illnesses we have absolutely no control over. There are two of your sons, one the one you know well and will always remember through flashbacks and photos, and there is the one who was taken away by the mental illness. How to reconcile them is a mystery. Rest in his peace.
I don't know how to say this correctly but my ex just called & told me our son had died. And my first feeling was relief that my family and I can finally relax and quit worrying that he's going to kill us. That is so sad.
I hadn't spoken to my son in over two years because of his threats. Apparently he died of natural causes, his father didn't have all the answers & since it's a holiday we won't get any today. I'm assuming it was his heart, as prior to our not talking he said he had been having heart problems. But, you could never tell when he was making things up or telling the truth.
May he finally rest in peace.
Just now seeing this and I am so sorry to hear it. My sympathies and prayers are with you. Take care of yourself and I hope you get answers soon.
My thanks to all of you. It's been a trying morning, dealing with his father, who I divorced 43 years ago. But we made some compromises & we'll split the cost of his cremation & 1/2 his ashes & each family can have their own funeral service. (No wonder I divorced the jerk.)
Both his ex-wife and his father 'forgot' to call social security so I did them that favor. Those two are so money hungry that it sickens me.
My thanks to all of you. It's been a trying morning, dealing with his father, who I divorced 43 years ago. But we made some compromises & we'll split the cost of his cremation & 1/2 his ashes & each family can have their own funeral service. (No wonder I divorced the jerk.)
Both his ex-wife and his father 'forgot' to call social security so I did them that favor. Those two are so money hungry that it sickens me.
Sorry for your loss.
As for the SS notification - think the funeral home would have done that since SS provides a $250 stipend towards the funeral costs.
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