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Last year a family member was in the same boat. Tied down to a lazy, selfish husband who refused to work, she had to work long hours and weekends while he spent the money. In debt, tired all the time, future looked bleak, obese and was developing health problems, felt she was on a long slide to an early death, depressed, no free time, took on all the responsibilities....then she "woke up."
She got weight loss surgery and lost 85 pounds and her health issues vanished; her energy level skyrocketed. She went through brief psychotherapy and a few months of antidepressant meds. She cut off the husband's money, filed for divorce, got a facelift, stopped working overtime, sold the house and paid off her debts, moved to a much nicer situation. Now, she is radiantly happy, looks great, able to retire anytime, starting her own at-home business, free to pursue new dreams. She will be 61 this year.
This type of (superstitious) thinking may be part of the problem.
This type of insult to and denigration of anothers faith is unnecessary and offensive. Take it to the religion board. I'd actually suggest another place you could take/put it but I'm trying to be civil.
This type of (superstitious) thinking may be part of the problem.
Do you get enough exercise? I have found that people who exercise regularly either have no stress related problems or none that are bad enough to talk about.
Wondering why you are posting on the Retirement forum . . .
And my beliefs aren't up for debate.
Thanks for the suggestion about exercise - I guess you missed the bit about feeling overworked and exhausted.
Wondering why you are posting on the Retirement forum . . .
And my beliefs aren't up for debate.
Thanks for the suggestion about exercise - I guess you missed the bit about feeling overworked and exhausted.
I retired the day I graduated from college.
You're the one who first wrote about your beliefs. The first step to solving a problem is becomming open minded - not the case when something isn't up for debate.
Those who don't exercise are those who become exhausted.
We had "great expectations", too. And I had to readjust my attitude, which helped a lot.
We had to close our business (with debt) and take my husband's social security at 62.
Sold our house for much less than we had "expected" to get.
We didn't get the dream retirement home.
We didn't get the RV that we had decided on.
We also don't have the funds to do all the traveling we hoped to do.
HOWEVER....
We have a comfy, cozy little home on a few acres....it's paid for.
We live frugally, but still have fun.
We bought a 10 yr old travel trailer that we just love to take on the road.
We paid off all our debt from our business.
Life is really good. So much less stressful than when we were working at our business.
Now that we're here....we're grateful that we came out above water. Some folks lost everything when the economy took a dive.
I hope that things improve for you!
Thank you.
Yes, it's the expectations - and there seem to be some stubborn unconscious ones - I say that because I work on accepting things but then when I become too tired or too overwhelmed, some primal or unconscious feelings/instinct/thinking/impulse/whatever overtakes me and I start getting angry, basically that I am not enjoying myself - It feels just like a child's tantrum - internally - that I am not getting my way. And I react with anger (which takes a great toll on me).
I don't seem to have any resilience left - to just slough things off and be ok with whatever is necessary in the moment.
When I examine my thoughts, I see I have expectations that I should be lounging on a beach in Hawaii, not doing whatever drudgery I happen to be engaged in. And it makes me furious! It's not a pretty cycle.
I am trying to be more accepting. I don't do well when I'm tired. I think that is the thing about getting older that is very difficult for me. Lots of people think old people are the same as young people, but with gray hair . . . I must have thought that on some level because it is quite a rude awakening that I am so tired.
Thanks everyone for the helpful suggestions and encouragement.
You're the one who first wrote about your beliefs. The first step to solving a problem is becomming open minded - not the case when something isn't up for debate.
Those who don't exercise are those who become exhausted.
I wrote about my beliefs. The next logical step is not that my beliefs are up for challenge or debate. There's a thing called respect for the beliefs of others - it's a little arrogant to have the audacity of thinking you can or should change the beliefs of others.
Obviously, at your age, you have no idea what it is like to be working at an older age and become exhausted. It's so easy to judge other people and tell them what they "should" be doing.
You might try taking out the anger in other ways, ones that make you feel better.
For instance, I throw things. Often I break stuff and make the situation worse. Or I scream my bloody head off, even if the windows are open. I also curse and swear, but don't tell anyone that. I will deny it to my death ! Then I sit down and try to cool off and have a nice glass of wine (or two) and it all seems very silly.
imcurious when was your last physical? You may be suffering from depression. Please get a check up. Yes you're special, we all are love. It's not what life hands us it's how we deal with it that's important. At 56 I think more and more about my mortality, especially since I take care of so many end stage patients in my age group. Yes there are days that I'm overwhelmed, over worked and frustrated, but I look at this poor unfortunate 35 year old paralyzed from MS and on life support. It changes your perspective and makes you grateful to be overwhelmed, frustrated and over worked. Being active is the very best thing you can do for your body. You need to embrace it and be grateful that you can still do these things because there are so many people that would be glad to change places with you. Aging is indeed a sad surrender but I have a friend that's 90 and still active. He does push ups every day. I want to be like him when I grow up
You're the one who first wrote about your beliefs. The first step to solving a problem is becomming open minded - not the case when something isn't up for debate.
Those who don't exercise are those who become exhausted.
This is true.
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- It feels just like a child's tantrum - internally - that I am not getting my way. And I react with anger (which takes a great toll on me).
