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Just a couple of things have happened over the past few days - one of my children may be making some career changes and from the big picture, this may not be the right move for her. I don't want to deflate her dreams but I've been thinking about this, praying about it and just trying to find the right words and moments - and then 2 things come into my life (just by reading the newspaper) but -
(1) I read about a man who, as a young man, loved music. He never made it big but then went the corporate route, became the president of a large, well known firm, quit, formed something to do with music (expanded too fast), closed it and now a few years later, he makes the news where again, he formed something to do with music (very cool, helping others, he's of retirement age) but it's a business. Even when he was the president of this large corporation, he had a band on the side. So, basically, he's said he's following his heart (he does have the funds to do this) so that part is easy.
He said he's having the time of his life (also, his children went to school with our daughter).
(2) This sounds kind of silly but I read about a group getting back together and I remember their songs from when I was in middle school not yet high school age. Anyway, I clicked on the button in the article and all those songs and just the meanings came rushing back - I think I'm thinking of a time when I believed all was good - the songs I'm thinking of were positive (It's A Beautiful Morning, People Got to be Free) and this did something to MY heart. I started thinking - well, what happened to that girl? (PS - Seeing them - The Rascals - One Upon A Dream tomorrow night in concert!!) I read the reviews and they seem to be good.
Our daughter was close to tops in her class in high school and a gifted athlete. She went on to college, graduated with a degree in neuroscience (3.897) and had plans to go on to attend medical school. Things didn't go well for her at the end of college and she made some poor choices. She ended up in NYC (her choice) and got a job working in finance. Her immediate boss started his own company and took her with him (small firm - about 5 or 6 people there). She makes good money. She has become addicted to CrossFit and thinks she wants to train people full time. (My husband is so against this; I'm thinking this is her heart just because of the 2 items listed above). She is single, no relationships, has friends but keeps most people at a distance (she has been betrayed a few times) but she does have 1 really close friend who just got married and has a very traditional life. She has no idea how hard this transition could be (she's doing this part time but not earning anywhere near what she does now).
How many of you wished you had followed your heart into a career or something else? Did you end up doing what your family wanted you to do?
I understand your concern for your daughter - just wanting what's best for her. With that GPA, she obviously has brains. Why not "follow her heart?" She can change her mind again later, if the spirit moves her too. People are not locked into jobs anymore - Thank God.
I worked for corporations (like many people) for 15 years - and it was the most deadening experience, ever. Money isn't everything - although, who knows - maybe she will make a ton of money at this. But in any case, she will be doing what she wants and deciding her destiny.
I say support her and have faith in her abilities to create the life she wants for herself.
I graduated summa *** laude (4.0) in the field of journalism in my 40s. It was not the master's degree I wanted to get for reasons I won't go into here. After I got it I followed my heart and had a different good career but it cost me in many ways. At that age, having had my kids, I wouldn't have listened to anyone's advice at any rate. I am not sorry I did what I did. The best choice would have been made twenty years before that. Everyone has to find out for themselves, and choices can be filled with both rewards and mistakes. No career is perfect.
I think men and women (would) approach these things differently. I don't think men feel they have the luxury to "follow their dreams" as much as a women might. Men consider themselves breadwinners and some women do, but not to the extent men do.
Still, taking the practical route is usually better because you can always "follow your dreams" in your spare time. For every person who took the practical route and regrets not following is dream, there are 69 people who followed their dream and regret taking the practical route.
I think you need to let your daughter live her life, make her own mistakes and learn from them. Chances are she might NOT fail....and find her passion. You just never know.
I think men and women (would) approach these things differently. I don't think men feel they have the luxury to "follow their dreams" as much as a women might. Men consider themselves breadwinners and some women do, but not to the extent men do.
Still, taking the practical route is usually better because you can always "follow your dreams" in your spare time. For every person who took the practical route and regrets not following is dream, there are 69 people who followed their dream and regret taking the practical route.
I think women feel just as much pressure to be mothers as men feel pressure to be "breadwinners". Choices you make - career choices putting off motherhood - could forever alter your life.
Some women even feel pressure to be breadwinners - single or in a relationship.
These days, there are more entrepreneurial opportunities than there were when we were making career decisions - plus, people don't get dinged for changing jobs frequently.
I was recently thinking back to the 1980's when I worked for a corporation and all of the people (men and women) wore really ugly suit "uniforms" in drab colors. People in start-up companies now wear shorts to work, ride skateboards in or bring their dogs in . . . it's a different world.
She needs to go for it. If it doesn't work out, she has a proven track record in corporate. I think people respect those who take chances, and this may turn out to be the best thing that she could have done for herself. Most of us wish we had taken chances, but for whatever reason, did not do so. Good for her.
How many of you wished you had followed your heart into a career or something else? Did you end up doing what your family wanted you to do?
I didn't follow my heart when younger and now, lookng back, I'm glad.
Whatever it was my parents wanted me to do I didn't. But then, nothing I did pleased them or would or could so it didn't matter. It (I) was never good enough. Oh well!
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