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Old 06-14-2013, 08:27 AM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
7,572 posts, read 9,020,411 times
Reputation: 17937

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dollydo View Post
I live in Florida, talk about a mass of needy women. As soon as they find out that so and so's wife has died, boom, there they are, cooking for the guy, flapping their eyelashes, cooing and praising, doing everything in their power to nab the man. Many are sucessful and the man who was married for 40+ years, feels that he cannot live without a women. Sooo, off it goes...first she wants him to marry her, then for him to sell his house and buy one with her...in both names...then lets cruise...I swear that these women all read from the same manual. I have actually have heard some of these women arguing over the old men....both sad and funny.
So pathetic. It's the same thing in AZ. My mom was dying from a brain tumor and they were already at it - couldn't even wait for her to die. She called one day and asked me to come for a visit - wouldn't say why. I almost went postal on these old bitties. When they saw me they scattered like roaches. Callous, disrespectful. One brazen hussy thought she'd stand up to me - didn't last long.

Then I grabbed him by the ear and explained in no uncertain terms how he would handle these situations going forward.

Guess who he married? Guess who now has a lot of my mom's things? Fool

Time to go out and pull a few weeds - I need some of that there therapy~~~
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Old 06-14-2013, 09:20 AM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,577 posts, read 4,510,119 times
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I know of at least two older couples who met from a dating service.
They are both older women 68 and 70; men similar.
This is now five years later; seemed to work for them.
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Old 06-14-2013, 10:18 AM
 
8,238 posts, read 6,581,692 times
Reputation: 23145
Dollydo, I'm failing to see what is wrong with the behavior you describe other than you describe the behavior as pejorative and unseemly.

Maybe you are saying that that the women are not really interested in the man, but what he can provide instead?
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Old 06-14-2013, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
7,572 posts, read 9,020,411 times
Reputation: 17937
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
Dollydo, I'm failing to see what is wrong with the behavior you describe other than you describe the behavior as pejorative and unseemly.

Maybe you are saying that that the women are not really interested in the man, but what he can provide instead?

I believe her opening statement says it all. Acting desperate & needy - what's right with that behavior? Our term is casserole women - they all show up with home prepared food. Where's the dignity and self pride (pick me pick me)?
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Old 06-14-2013, 11:06 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Maine
861 posts, read 1,147,714 times
Reputation: 1823
If my wife should happen to die before me (god forbid), send me the addresses of these locals with "hungry women". Sounds like a place I would want to check out.
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Old 06-14-2013, 11:20 AM
 
8,238 posts, read 6,581,692 times
Reputation: 23145
I see nothing wrong in showing an interest in men who have lost their wife. Showing an interest and doing things that show that interest is not behavior that is automatically 'desperate and needy".

I would never support being desperate and needy. But I think showing an interest by calling, issuing invitations, and cooking is not automatically 'desperate and needy'.

And I do not support women falling into strict gender roles where they are automatically expected to be the cook in a relationship and where they automatically accept that role; I think women should opt out of being the cook in a relationship if they want to - I would opt out of being the cook.

But for women who like to cook or find certain men interesting, it isn't in the category of 'desperate and needy' to try to cultivate a relationship with a single or widowed man.

(they should wait until the man is actually widowed though)

Last edited by matisse12; 06-14-2013 at 11:58 AM..
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Old 06-14-2013, 12:24 PM
 
11,181 posts, read 10,532,733 times
Reputation: 18618
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
I see nothing wrong in showing an interest in men who have lost their wife. Showing an interest and doing things that show that interest is not behavior that is automatically 'desperate and needy".

I would never support being desperate and needy. But I think showing an interest by calling, issuing invitations, and cooking is not automatically 'desperate and needy'.
Are these women interested in a particular man for himself, or will any old unattached man do? A woman who feels her life is incomplete unless she has a [generic] man in her life does smack of being desperate and needy.
The casserole competition just seems creepy to me, although I can't put my finger on why. If biscuitpop outlives me, I'm sure it wouldn't work with him. A woman would do far better to approach him and strike up a casual conversation at an event or activity they both enjoy - theatre, a gardening meeting, a fundraiser, a hike, etc. For now he's savvy enough to figure out if she's there because she really likes the activity or if she's just [generic] man-hunting. That could change when he's into his 70's and 80's though.
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Old 06-14-2013, 02:43 PM
 
Location: Lexington, SC
4,280 posts, read 12,669,028 times
Reputation: 3750
Quote:
Originally Posted by TerryDactyls View Post
If my wife should happen to die before me (god forbid), send me the addresses of these locals with "hungry women". Sounds like a place I would want to check out.
Me too...........LOL
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Old 06-14-2013, 02:50 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
7,572 posts, read 9,020,411 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by accufitgolf View Post
Me too...........LOL
Both of you - naughty
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Old 06-14-2013, 04:40 PM
 
Location: Toronto, Ottawa Valley & Dunedin FL
1,409 posts, read 2,740,580 times
Reputation: 1170
How about a lineup of eligible widowers lining up to take recent widows out to dinner? How come that doesn't happen? I know, I know, the widowers have already hooked up with someone.

My step-father-in-law is an example of this I think. He's been married 3 times, a widower twice. In both cases, he was re-married within a year or less, to a woman he already knew. In his case he's just uxorious, he likes to be taken care of, and frankly, he's still, uh, "got it" in the sex department, at 80. Good for him I guess. My sister-in-law didn't think much of it (her mom was #2.)
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