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Old 06-18-2013, 09:35 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
34,691 posts, read 33,700,331 times
Reputation: 51914

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A few new non-financial retirement articles in the news:

"People are working with financial planners to make sure that they will have enough money to retire. But what they are not doing, retirement experts say, is preparing psychologically for retirement. And as a result, three big problems are popping up."

"1. Retirees without any kind of a plan are just going home to their spouses with nothing to do and causing stress in their marriages.

2. People who have been working for 30 or 35 years are suddenly home with absolutely nothing to do.

3. People underestimate the loss of status and self-esteem that comes from working."

Full article here:

Don't let retirement stress marriage: Plan to be busy
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Old 06-18-2013, 09:52 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,492,863 times
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Well, I retired with no real plan but to be retired which is something I'd really looked forward to for my last year of work and thankfully, my wife, who'd been retired for several years, didn't seem to mind having me around.

Now I did spend a fair amount of time researching potential retirement states on the computer but that was as much of a "plan" as I had. Other than that, it was quite enough at the time to just not have to be at work. Status and self-esteem? Phooey!
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Old 06-18-2013, 11:11 AM
 
48,516 posts, read 83,955,483 times
Reputation: 18050
those problems effect more than just retirees marriages. it very common as men and women now reach mid life and then look around and see this is where they are and likely to stay. Basically many have this problem no matter when they face a change like even losing a job; one advancing and another not. Happens all the time to marriages that are more or less just co-habitating.
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Old 06-18-2013, 12:05 PM
 
Location: Florida -
8,764 posts, read 10,848,423 times
Reputation: 16639
Five-years into retirement, at a relatively 'young' 66, I'm beginning to think that there is more to the psychological aspect of retirement than previously considered. I've always been somewhat of a 'Type 'A' personality who stayed actively involved in multiple things (work, ministry, etc) ... which didn't leave much time for developing hobbies or extracurricular activities.

Now, in retirement, we are financially solvent, but, I'm cruised-out, golfed-out, fished-out, read-out (and also 'moved-out' from where we lived for the past 28-years, to a new area (grandkids)). I'm not really looking for 'scheduled activity' or busy-work, but, realize that 'drifting along' for the next 20-25 years doesn't look all that appealing. --- "Dear Abbey, What do you think? Do I need to be 're-imagined' or re-programmed??'

Last edited by jghorton; 06-18-2013 at 12:53 PM..
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Old 06-18-2013, 12:32 PM
 
Location: Alaska
5,356 posts, read 16,351,037 times
Reputation: 4023
Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraC View Post
"1. Retirees without any kind of a plan are just going home to their spouses with nothing to do and causing stress in their marriages.
My plan is to do nothing. I'm sure it's a big job, so it will likely take several years.

Actually, my plan is to be flexible. There will be a lot of odd jobs that need to be completed and it would be nice not have to rush through them on a weekend like we now do. I know volunteer work is in my future. All I have to do is figure out what it will be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraC View Post
2. People who have been working for 30 or 35 years are suddenly home with absolutely nothing to do.
I'm sure at some point everything will be finished or I won't be physically able to do the tasks, but that will be years away. There's plenty of time to develop new interests that will fit my then physical capabilities while the above are being completed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraC View Post
3. People underestimate the loss of status and self-esteem that comes from working."
Why would I underestimate something I don't currently have? I'll have more status and self-esteem as I watch them flounder when I leave. I got a big boost when I left one job and they had to hire two people to do my tasks. I'm guessing they'll have to contract out some of my duties for a long period and will end up paying a lot more for replacements.

I currently have more self-esteem from being able to plan what will be a successful retirement in a world where they say most will not be able to do the same. I've been able to help friends and relatives with their plans, providing suggestions on what they need to do. I'll likely do the same for my kids through retirement.

My wife, on the other hand, is more uncertain about it. She reads the articles about the failures and thinks we must be in the same boat. What she doesn't think about is that most retirement failures are happening because people failed to plan earlier, and now they have to keep working to have any hopes of retiring at some point.
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Old 06-18-2013, 04:00 PM
 
4,346 posts, read 6,059,960 times
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We have no plan and we're happy as clams. He played golf yesterday and today on a whim, and I met a friend for lunch, walked 3 miles both days for exercise, and read a great book after deadheading my plants and shopping for fun. Plan??
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Old 06-18-2013, 04:27 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,492,863 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ipoetry View Post
We have no plan and we're happy as clams. He played golf yesterday and today on a whim, and I met a friend for lunch, walked 3 miles both days for exercise, and read a great book after deadheading my plants and shopping for fun. Plan??
Plan?? What is this thing called "plan?" One of the best things abut retiring was not having to plan. Spontaneity is the name of the game!
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Old 06-18-2013, 04:31 PM
 
Location: middle tennessee
1,925 posts, read 990,367 times
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After he retired, my husband got up at 6:30 instead of 4:30. He met a group of friends at a local restaurant every morning. He went back for lunch and "after work" coffee. He always seemed to be busy helping someone do this or that. In between, he napped and watched tv. If I was working, he went out to dinner with a friend. We lived in the town where he had lived all of his life and he knew everybody.

He got up and went out to eat breakfast the day before he died. When he got home, he told me that he wanted to go to the hospital. He never came home.

We had talked some about what he would do once he retired because he was a person who was always on the go at work. He didn't hunt or fish, play golf, or have hobbies. He wasn't interested in the house or yard. It worked out fine.

I didn't retire until after he was gone. I love not working. I read, clean, play scrabble and do crosswords online, visit with neighbors, work in the yard, take naps in the middle of the day, watch old movies all night........ whatever I want to do, I do it.

All of my life I either worked, or looked for work, or worried about work. Not having to go to work every day makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world. I still have trouble believing its true.

I think we would have done okay being retired together.
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Old 06-18-2013, 04:40 PM
 
125 posts, read 199,204 times
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Since I'm single there will be no stress in a marriage. Seeking companionship and/or being in a relationship will be virtually stress-free, well that's the goal, since I will have a lot more time for one during retirement. Essentially its starting from scratch with nothing in place at the outset of retirement.



As far as having absolutely nothing to do. LOL. See previous comment. In addition I have many interests that I currently don't have the time for. Hopefully there will be enough hours in a day during retirement.



I have no issues with a lack of self-esteem now, so when retirement comes around, I expect the same. By staying active, continue to work out, engaged socially etc, will certainly help in maintaining it. In regards to status, have had a sufficient amount of it during my lifetime and personally feel that's overrated. Certainly there are people who always seek it and place high value on it, I'm not one of them. I place greater value on such things as character and integrity etc. So this will not be an issue with me whatsoever in retirement.
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Old 06-18-2013, 07:12 PM
 
12,825 posts, read 20,148,018 times
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This is more of a problem for dual income couples or couples where at least one of the couple has been solidly employed for a very long time. For an increasing number of retirees who've experienced periods where both were at home for extended periods during the so called "prime earning years," they will have already gotten lots of experience with too much face time! Ah the wonders of a jobless recovery or at best a McJob recovery.
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