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There seems to be (at least) two schools of thought here: "Who will take care of me" and "Wouldn't it be nice to live with a group of like minded people and share expenses instead of living alone".
I am thinking about the latter.
I think some of us would live longer and perhaps stay healthier in a group living situation. We would still need the end of life care plans that everyone needs. These are separate issues.
People that you already have a relationship with seem like the best choices. I can't imagine putting an ad on Craigslist to find a person to share my home.
Six weeks trial run in Italy sounds great!.... except, in reality, I am a great stay at homer and a not so great traveler. I will pet sit and keep the grass cut til you all get back.
And if a person is in a situation where they find themselves living alone, at the very least have a support system. If no relatives are living nearby, this becomes more important. Maybe former co-workers, friends from church who will call or keep tabs on one another in case you didn't show up to an expected event or something. Or maybe a friend who can pick up a few items from the grocery store or pick up a prescription for you if you lived alone and were no longer able to drive or get out. Maybe a next door neighbor who gets concerned if you haven't picked up your paper for a day or two.
The point is that maybe you did live alone but had a friend or two who would keep in touch with you and you'd do the same for them.
I haven't read the whole thread but my husband and I have talked about doing this for years. We're in our 40's/50's but have already broached the subject with some of the people we think we could live with. Don't know if it will turn out or not, but I think it's a great idea.
It sounds like a great way to live longer, stay healthier and make your retirement income go farther.
It sounds like a great way to live longer, stay healthier and make your retirement income go farther.
That's the bottom line for a lot of people, IMO. Economic necessity means figuring out ways to make it work, even if there is a little bit of discomfort. Just like when I was in my 20s and sharing a house in Los Angeles with roommates. Sure, it would have been great to rent a place all by myself but that wasn't financially realistic so we all found ways to make it work.
When the kids left home . . . I encouraged them to move back after college. I wanted them with me and wanted to be part of that transition in their lives . . . finding that first job, moving to a new city . . . I wanted to savor those few last precious times together for as long as I could.
Once everyone was gone . . . I don't think I have ever adjusted!
Of course, I have always had my own space to retreat to (and they all respected that) . . . but just the hustle and bustle . . . I miss it.
So I totally understand what you mean.
Ani: I totally know what you mean. I felt the same way. The young people in the home with their friends was a great time for me. They didn't want to move back home but did, on and off, while getting their bearings and then off they flew to other states. I cried each time one left. The house was so quiet. I have tried enticing my daughter to live with me and she always said emphatically NO. Then she got married and I quit asking, sorta.
I wish I were closer to retirement. My mother and I get along really well. She is 83, me 60. Although, she is in good health, who knows if she will still be around when I retire. We sorta talked about being able to live together when I was visiting her a couple of weeks ago. Unfortunately, she lives in Vermont which is not retiree friendly, re: taxes. When she dies, I would not want to stay in Vermont.
Like many people I lived in the group houses out of college and in my first job. OMG, some very odd people and some good ones. After a few years of that, I moved to my first apt.,...happily.
I agree with the poster who said it is about economics for most. That would be the ONLY reason I would ever live with a group of essentially strangers.
Thank you, Joan! I had never read this thread before and it is very interesting with a lot of good thoughts about group living arrangements, especially for those who are in need of some assistance with activities of daily living.
I'm happy to share! You are getting some good discussion! This interests me because I can see myself trying group living.
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Interesting thread!
