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Old 07-22-2013, 12:09 PM
Location: Tennessee
34,682 posts, read 33,681,492 times
Reputation: 51877


I was just reading a letter to Dear Abby:

"DEAR ABBY: My husband retired and we thought we were fulfilling our lifetime dream when we moved to the beach, but our dream has turned into a nightmare. Our family never wanted to visit us this often before. When they come, no one even brings along so much as a bottle of water. My grocery bill has soared, and I'm sick of being the role of cook and maid while they have a great time. I'm ready to move back to our hometown. At least there I had a life besides cooking and cleaning..."

Retirement at beach is a lot of work - Times Union

Of course, the response was to say something to the perpetrators. Besides the food and drink issue, do those of you in this situation also deal with visitors who think because you are retired you are up for waiting on them hand and foot?
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Old 07-22-2013, 12:16 PM
Location: Gorgeous Scotland
4,123 posts, read 4,747,664 times
Reputation: 3272
Although I live on the water - a sea loch - you wouldn't say we lived at the beach. We do live in/near a touristy area. Fortunately, it's expensive for relatives to just hop on a plane and come visit, so visits are far between. But friends seem to think we're just dying to have guests and be their tour guides! We travel often so I've been able to put off a few of them by being on our own trips.
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Old 07-22-2013, 01:27 PM
Location: Santaluz - San Diego, CA
4,485 posts, read 8,143,397 times
Reputation: 1976
I'm not sure I'd go as far as to say they "take advantage" of me. But let's just say I've never had so many friends and family visit us and wanting to stay with us in our home until we moved to San Diego (we live 10 minutes from the beach). LOL.
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Old 07-22-2013, 01:37 PM
Location: Miraflores
783 posts, read 893,308 times
Reputation: 1531
I have lived in one of the Worlds top 10 tourist destinations for 10 years and have never had a problem, of course my place is only available for a $1,000.00/week.
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Old 07-22-2013, 01:39 PM
3,995 posts, read 3,217,430 times
Reputation: 13006
People treat you they way that you let them. Its not their fault, its YOUR fault. You lay the ground rules.
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Old 07-22-2013, 02:07 PM
14,260 posts, read 23,983,382 times
Reputation: 20066
It seems to me that YOU hold the keys. I decide WHO visits, WHEN they visit, and HOW LONG they stay. With ONE exception, the max stay in my place is THREE days period. Ben Franklin once states, "Fish and guests stink after three days."

I had a friend who invited himself for a stay. They ate my food, did not pick up a restaurant bill, could NOT understand that we had to be at work at 6 am on Monday morning. Their visit blew my budget. It was the last time that we were available when they wanted to visit.

Also, don't ask to stay at my house so you can attend a concert ... and not even offer me a ticket to go along. Don't show up at my house and not even eat a meal or talk with me. My name is NOT MARRIOTT.


I do have one couple that can stay at my place as long as they want. They are NOT assuming, respectful of my need to work and do NOT need to be catered to. If I need them to cook, they'll do it. On one visit, my refrigerator ice maker flooded the house. They helped to clean up the damage. They can stay a week.
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Old 07-22-2013, 02:42 PM
5,619 posts, read 8,549,762 times
Reputation: 7705
I'm in the process of building on my land in a desirable (mountain) location.

I'm actually building FOR guests (and a shop) as my Airstream is all the room I need.

I have made it clear that there is an "open door policy" (easier since I'll be under a different roof) but that it will be a "bring our own consumables"

I visit friends often, (I travel a lot) and I ALWAYS bring something or buy dinner... Or both.

If your 'being taken advantage of' its because YOU LET IT!
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Old 07-22-2013, 03:03 PM
Location: Alaska
5,356 posts, read 16,344,123 times
Reputation: 4023
My wife and I are thinking of retiring to a beach location with the idea of having family visit. My wife figures that no one will visit if we stay where we currently live. As to feeding a big group, they'll have to bring consumables in if they want to eat. We'll provide a meal or two, but they better provide the rest if they want to come back.
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Old 07-22-2013, 04:27 PM
Location: Toronto, Ottawa Valley & Dunedin FL
1,409 posts, read 2,354,415 times
Reputation: 1159
So far we actually invite this. We winter in a very nice part of Florida, close to the beach and lots of great activities, including spring training baseball. We love having company, and expect friends to stay a week, since that's a typical winter vacation for a Canadian.

Of course, we invite them, and approve the timing of their visits. And having visited us once, we can judge whether we will invite them back by whether they helped out with expenses, chores, and were sufficiently independent of us for it to work well.

Up here in the north, at our summer cottage, we also invite people, and hope they will stay 3-5 days. Unfortunately it's a long drive from the city where we live, so we get few takers.

I must say that guests are nice, but it is lovely when they go home.
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Old 07-22-2013, 05:55 PM
Location: Lexington, SC
4,281 posts, read 10,734,134 times
Reputation: 3716
We have an unofficial rule. If you never visited us while we lived in Chicago, you do not get to visit us in SC.............LOL
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