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Regarding little girls hair, 55 plus-ers are grandparents. Visiting grandkids must abide the rules too.
Regarding german shepherds, what I wrote is the place we are looking at (as an alternative to the 55-plus) has small backyards which should insure against large dogs.
Regarding offending anyone, I'm offended at least once a day by posts I read here. Life goes on.
Regarding dining hall (???), I live in a 55 plus community not independent living. We have a 3-level townhouse which we maintain ourselves, no dining hall. It's the same townhouse-type living we had in Alexandria, VA only we have gates and you must be 55 to live here. There's no community meals, nothing like that.
Regarding reading the rules, of course I read the rules. My concern is not really the rules themselves, the rules are what keep school buses from appearing in your neighbors' driveways, sheds being constructed too close to your property, etc.. What I don't like about the rules is that they attracts a certain kind of people, the kind who hand over their social reins to committees and go by the community calendar.
Minervah, those of us who choose not to participate don't 'close their drapes and not watch the zombies march by', we have lives beyond the community. And re bathing caps, I haven't seen one of those, with the exception of watching the summer olympics, in over 4 decades.
Today I'm meeting a friend for lunch, a friend from outside the gates. I'm finding most of my friends, great women too, from outside the 55 plus community where we live. I take art lessons in a nearby town. I'm just saying there aren't too many years left for raising hell and having fun my way.
If this posts offends anyone, so be it. I've gotten much support via direct messages. But pleeze, as bad as 55-plus living is, don't lump it together with independent or assisted living facilities. Different animals!
I appreciate your frank descriptions. I thought you were trying to be a little humorous about the situation.
Well, you tried it out . . . and it sounds like it isn't for you and you are wise enough to make the change and find a place where you will fit in and enjoy yourself and your lifestyle.
Your art lessons sound wonderful! And it also sounds like you have a group of friends who you will be able to do things with in your "new world" outside the 55 + community.
Another poster said that it seems these communities often have more folks over 75 than around 55 and I am thinking that may be true in many of them -- and it sounds like it definitely was the situation where you have been living. I can see how that wouldn't be the most compatible situation for a lot of folks. For those in that age range, it may be the perfect situation.
To each his/her own! I know you are happy you figured this out (that this 55+ arrangement isn't for you) and are looking forward to enjoying a different "style" in your new community.
ipoetry, it sounds like you were a little young to join such a community. I could see "75+" communities that I would consider, but never "55+." Age 55 to 75 is still, for many, an independent time when one wants to be free from restrictions on home and lifestyle. Not to mention cookie cutter type places that don't evoke a sense of individuality.
Since you live on the Cape, you should have little or no trouble selling. Going into a neighborhood on the Cape may mean that some or many of your neighbors are not there year-round. I have friends eyeing Plymouth for retirement. Not that far from the Cape and may offer more stable year-round neighborhoods.
It seems to me, people are happier when they get into a brand new development. Most of the new homeowners would be around the same age and can grow old together. I think if I were to consider moving to a 55+ development, that's what I would do, not to mention, I would read the rules first.
I think there is a big difference from a 55+ community and assisted living facility. I just moved out of a 55+ community and it was a very nice place to live. Some of the benefits were: very quiet at night and lots of retires that are very friendly and easy to meet and socialize with. Downside I was younger than most, lots of very old residents, and you don't have to worry about your place when your gone for the summer because they watch your property.
Now in a new house, with mostly young neighbors with children, there at work all day and you rarely see them. I had some friends from the old neighborhood over and we were in the Florida room and they heard some young children and they were not thrilled by that. I thought it was nice to have some young children around. I know we all get old, or you know what, but it can be a little depressing at times. The ambulance comes by quite often.
I have some friends in a gated community that is 55+ and they have rule after rule, no fences, no large dogs, no laundry lines or poles, no garbage cans outside and the list goes on. That's just to many rules for me. But everyone has to decide what's best for them.
We underestimated some of the creepiness when first moving to a 55+ but have managed to adjust to the different lifestyle here. There are problems no matter where you land and we were fish out of water in the former family neighborhood we lived in. The teenagers there were for the most part, vandals in the making and we were afraid to make eye contact with some of them. The people next door went about their business with noses in the air and we never did know their names after 8 years. Just the luck of the draw I guess. We have rules in place everywhere there is an HOA and had them in the former hood. In fact the HOA there was as thick as a phone book but ours here are about 8 pages. Mostly just keep your place tidy. Love my neighbors who are about 15 years older than we are and we have fun getting together with them.
I do not look down on those who would never live in a 55 and have to ponder why they would look down on those of us (zombies) who enjoy a peaceful, quiet, low tax, low crime life.
It seems to me, people are happier when they get into a brand new development. Most of the new homeowners would be around the same age and can grow old together. I think if I were to consider moving to a 55+ development, that's what I would do, not to mention, I would read the rules first.
Good point about the brand new community and that most new homeowners would be about the same age as the rest of the residents. The problem arises when a retiree is older than 55 or so and wants to find a 55+ community that would fit their needs and have residents who are near the same age.
Because of the recession, we have had to hold off moving and now are nearing 15 years older than age 55. So at this point, a brand new community would have residents who are too young for us. And 15 years younger is a whole different place in life than late 60's--not too much in common. It's almost as uncomfortable as spending this part of our lives with people in their 80's. In some ways, I feel like a "tween" (those kids who are age 11 or 12--not little kids anymore but not teenagers either) except this is retirement age.
I do not look down on those who would never live in a 55 and have to ponder why they would look down on those of us (zombies) who enjoy a peaceful, quiet, low tax, low crime life.
Many of us who say we would never live in a 55+ community have never lived in one. We only imagine what we read or hear from others. I think there's a fit for everyone. For the OP, she unfortunately made the wrong choice for the long run but has hopefully gained something by the experience. I think it would be great if some of these places had one-month rental units for seniors to try out. In a month's time you can pretty well judge whether a place is for you or not. With couples, it gets complicated, as couples are individuals. My SO would not make it in a 55+ community or even a condo or apartment. He's the rugged outdoor type and needs his little piece of land. If we wind up in a condo/rental in old age it would have to be near a community garden so he can dig his patch.
Not all communities are the same. We live in a 55+ which is small. It does not have any special classes or activities except cards. We only have a pool and clubhouse. So it is basically a duplex in a community of over 55+ adults. It is not very regimented. Some people may not like it because it is not a place with social activities. i like it because it feels relatively safe and it is quiet. I am not a social butterfly so at this point while I am still working I do not need a community with lots of activities. Also the main reason my husband and I like a 55+ community is because it is well kept and we do not have to deal with teenagers, loud music coming from cars, and assorted kind of people in the neighborhood. It does not give me the feeling of safety and peace as I get in my 55+ community.
Not all communities are the same. We live in a 55+ which is small. It does not have any special classes or activities except cards. We only have a pool and clubhouse. So it is basically a duplex in a community of over 55+ adults. It is not very regimented. Some people may not like it because it is not a place with social activities. i like it because it feels relatively safe and it is quiet. I am not a social butterfly so at this point while I am still working I do not need a community with lots of activities. Also the main reason my husband and I like a 55+ community is because it is well kept and we do not have to deal with teenagers, loud music coming from cars, and assorted kind of people in the neighborhood. It does not give me the feeling of safety and peace as I get in my 55+ community.
One thing I'm curious about is pets in 55+ places. Do they generally accept them—only one dog, more than one, and any size limit? Of course the lawns are probably chemically treated so you can't let your dog on the grass, and that means walking them outside the community even later at night. What is your community like in this respect?
Too many rules, sheeple that walk down the street amassed like zombies toward their 10 o'clock water aerobics class or 11 o'clock bridge game, did I say too many rules? No diving or jumping into the pool, little girls' hair must be braided so as not to clog up the pool filter, etc., etc. No outside sneakers on the treadmills, just clean brand new sneakers so as not to guck up the equipment.
We've found a nearby neighborhood; small back yards insure there are no pools, no german shepherds, and we're thinking of making the change toward freedom. We figure coffins are much too confining, why settle for the restrictions now when we should be raising hell?
restrictions aren't all bad - make your move. Once in your new neighborhood, you might recognize that neighborhoods without rules could be much worse.
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Moving to a 55+
