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.....I'll give you 3 examples and these are all highly educated people. Reading: My nonfiction book group votes on books to read. They love reading any books about the WWII era. If one is nominated it's a sure thing it will get the votes needed to be selected. News: They still all read newspapers as their primary source of news, followed by PBS. They don't get their news online. They don't even know how to get news online as I found out, recently. Forget online video. Communication: They prefer in person contact followed by a telephone call in that order. If you cancel a day trip or class say 3 days before the scheduled trip/class, the only way you can be reasonably sure they won't all show up is if you call every one of them individually. Most check e-mail only if they know to expect something that way otherwise some can go weeks without checking e-mail. The course catalogue and registration form for our classes are online. They all prefer getting a hard copy. Like I said, all highly educated people. It's just a generational thing.
I found your comments about email use (or non-use) extremely interesting, and I would like to know the approximate age range of the folks you are describing who "can go weeks without checking email".
I am 69 and my computer skills are not real impressive, but I have been checking email twice a day for quite a few years. Perhaps the difference is that I had two moonlighting jobs which grew out of hobby interests which absolutely required those involved to be available for last-minute changes communicated in group emails. Perhaps if I had not had those jobs I would not have developed the habit.
It has been frustrating to me to have a few friends about my age and a little older who have different expectations; I assume that people who are engaged with the world, i.e., who are not recluses, will check their email at least daily. I would feel lost without that - even my current volunteer work reading aloud to fifth grade classes requires me to be attuned to schedule changes which teachers may not communicate until the evening before, usually with an apology for the last-minute notification; it is just a tacit assumption on their part that I will receive the messages.
I have one friend, age 78, who has no email at all (is not connected to the internet). He recently accused me of being "addicted". I have trouble getting across to him that email is a tool for functioning in the modern world; he wouldn't accuse a plumber of being "addicted" to his tools, for example.
Oh well, generational differences can be pretty profound.
Because of my wife's allergies, we need to move once we retire. But I am concerned about being able to make new friends and relationships in a new home. We don't want to move back to family because of the high cost of living and cold weather. So here's the question.
Where did you move and what did you do about making new friends and establishing new relationships?
We moved from Ohio to California when I retired nearly seven years ago, and knew nobody out here. I volunteered with the local government agencies, in my case stuff like police is a good fit, and through the years have met quite a few people and made some friends.
It takes time, you can't force the issue. But if you are sufficiently out and engaged in a variety of activities, you eventually meet folks. Some you'll click with, many you won't.
We retired 1500 miles from home when we moved from Houston to Philadelphia. We did not know a soul, but knew in our guts this was where we wanted to live and had enough faith in ourselves that we would be able to make new friends. After 2 and a half years, we actually have more friends than we did after our 26 years in Houston. There are two parts to this that I'll explain.
The first is where we meet people. After settling in, I joined a weekly discussion group comprised of gay men 50 years and above. Each week 35 - 40 of us gather for a structured discussion on a pre-selected topic. I continue to meet interesting folks there (I keep referring to "I" as my partner is still working). I also volunteer for two organizations where I have met some great folks. Finally, we live in a high rise condo and have made some good friends here. And once we met friends, we began meeting friends of friends. The second part of my answer revolves around time. When we were both working, it was enough challenge to get to work, get home, feed ourselves and run to the hardware store, garden shop, grocery store etc. each weekend while trying to squeeze in friends. Being retired, time allows us enjoy time out with friends in a relaxed state, and entertaining at home is more of a joy than a chore.
You don't need to join a gay discussion group to make new friends. Volunteering is a natural way to meet like-minded people. So is joining a church, temple, mosque or other religious organization. Then there are clubs, civic associations and fitness centers. Basically, go to places you like to go and you will meet people with similar interests. I know leaving friends for places unknown can be a big fear. Making new friends does require that you reach out to others as they will not appear at your front door unannounced. If you are the types to do so, I think you will slowly grow a warm circle of new friends. I have lived in 7 states and have found people are pretty friendly everywhere.
Although off the thread premise, I'd like to add one further point: Leaving friends doesn't mean losing them We have kept the true friendships from our old home alive. We have re-visited them and many have made the visit to stay with us here.
Best of luck!
Wow, being a native Philadelphian, I was totally expecting you to say you came here and hated it! I am so happy to hear such a positive view on my hometown!
I inherited my Mom's condo in an over-55 community in FL and spent a few months there after she died. I was amazed at how many baby-boomers have moved in over the past 5 years, and I quickly met new friends at the hub of social activity -- the pool. During the winter, there are numerous events at the clubhouse -- dinners, dances, etc. -- in addition to the daily card games, sewing groups, weekly happy hours and such. As others have mentioned, you make new friends and then go out to dinner or other outside events. Some people have children in the area or grandchildren who visit, but primarily *we* are each others' social lives. May not be the life for everyone, but for me as a single person, it has been a lot of fun.
As for the e-mail discussion, all my friends (in their late 50's or 60's) use e-mail, and many use Facebook. But some of the elderly Board members "don't use the computer", which I find appalling for people trying to conduct the business of an HOA.
But it is obvious and very apparent that certain posters are very addicted to posting on the City-Data Forums and specifically the Retirement threads, often posting multiple times daily, and find it difficult not to speak on a large number of issues.
Last edited by matisse12; 09-02-2013 at 10:02 PM..
I found your comments about email use (or non-use) extremely interesting, and I would like to know the approximate age range of the folks you are describing who "can go weeks without checking email".
I am 69 and my computer skills are not real impressive, but I have been checking email twice a day for quite a few years. Perhaps the difference is that I had two moonlighting jobs which grew out of hobby interests which absolutely required those involved to be available for last-minute changes communicated in group emails. Perhaps if I had not had those jobs I would not have developed the habit.
It has been frustrating to me to have a few friends about my age and a little older who have different expectations; I assume that people who are engaged with the world, i.e., who are not recluses, will check their email at least daily. I would feel lost without that - even my current volunteer work reading aloud to fifth grade classes requires me to be attuned to schedule changes which teachers may not communicate until the evening before, usually with an apology for the last-minute notification; it is just a tacit assumption on their part that I will receive the messages.
I have one friend, age 78, who has no email at all (is not connected to the internet). He recently accused me of being "addicted". I have trouble getting across to him that email is a tool for functioning in the modern world; he wouldn't accuse a plumber of being "addicted" to his tools, for example.
Oh well, generational differences can be pretty profound.
The people I speak of are in their 70s and 80s, intelligent (many have advanced degrees) and are well-traveled. I think of the time when Internet use first became very popular and that was in the mid-90s. I believe some of these people retired before they had to use a computer at work. If they are 80, that would have made them about 62 - 65, typical retirement age. Also, my town is a big government town so they may have gone out even earlier. I actually think some may have retired because they had to use one at work and they just couldn't see the point in learning something new. I'm guessing they didn't realize how big it would become in the home.
I also know a couple in another state who have never owned one. She was a housewife and he didn't use one at work. They like me to write them letters. Letters? These out of state people are not recluses. They are sociable people. They have cell phones but they just use them to make phone calls.
When I taught a hands-on beginner Internet research class, I assumed they used e-mail and maybe followed links in those e-mails. But, I actually had to spend some time showing some of them how to turn on the power and log in, scroll up and down before I could teach them how to use it to research. I tried to show them things like looking up their medicines/illnesses, checking the local movie schedule, comparison car shopping, how to use YouTube, Image searches, Trip Advisor and Mapquest to pre-plan their travel, online word games, looking up the weather, the US debt and contacting their Senators and Representatives, how to use the Internet to pre-shop even if they don't want to buy online, how to find menus and times for the local restaurants, events, even the online course catalogue -- you know, things they could use. Many of them didn't know that this type of information was out there. That's pretty far removed from those of us that do this as easy as breathing.
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