Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: Prescott Valley,az summer/east valley Az winter
2,061 posts, read 4,133,552 times
Reputation: 8190
Advertisements
Yep~ we have grandchildren~~and kids that apparently don't care to have them bond with us. When we were close we saw them only about once a year~ when we went to visit them. If the children cannot come visit we'll just write them out of the will. Then we moved further away and haven't seen them in years. We feel this is their loss, not ours.
I think if someone plans to live their life specifically around the lives of other people, they will run the risk of setting themselves up for disappointment.
We appreciate, admire, and enjoy our two grown children. Neither one is cut to be a parent and we don't see that changing. They both live creative, fulfilling lives.
We enjoyed raising our sons but don't feel we're cut out to be grandparents. The idea just doesn't appeal.
DH and I both have several siblings in the vicinity and they all have children, grandchildren, and some have great-grandchildren so there's no shortage of munchkins around should we be seized by a sudden urge to nurture. That's not happened yet. After 35+ years of all those grands, we've done enough nurturing to last us a good while.
Like many of you, I had begun to believe I would never have grandchildren.
Then for awhile, I thought we'd only have one. Then our second arrived--a special gift.
If I had not had any, I would have reconciled myself to it, but I am glad I have the two. I don't think there will be any more.
I expected to be a young grandmother since I had my kids young, but had to wait quite a while before the grandchildren arrived. When my son and his wife were expecting, I moved to be close to them. I wanted to be the type of grandparent who had a meaningful relationship with their grandchild and take an active part in their lives. I've seen the difference a "hands-on" grandparent can make in a child's life opposed to a long distance one in my own parents, and wanted to have the same effect.
Grandchildren are a joy. There is no other way I can describe it. But if having grandchildren is not in the cards for you, please don't discount the pleasure you can get and the good influence you can provide to a child who has an absent or inattentive grandparent, or parent for that matter.
Like biscuitmom, we have one child, age 32, and she is not cut out to be a parent. She knows it, and we (her father and I) know it, too. Our daughter has not one maternal bone in her body. If she were to ever have a child.....well, let's not go there. (She does love her dogs, though.)
I don't mind the fact that I will never have grandchildren. In fact, it is a relief! As a former teacher, I saw too many children in my years in the classroom that were neglected and just basically unwanted by their parents. I worried about them much of the time while they were in my life. I would be the same way if I had grandchildren, and since I am now taking care of an aging mother (after taking care of my father for the last three years of his life), I know I couldn't handle the worry and stress of helping to take care of a grandchild which is what I would have to do if my daughter ever had a child.
So, I just teasingly (but really seriously) keep reminding my daughter to be EXTRA careful when it comes to birth control!
Two grand-dogs, two grand-cats...son and DIL wanted a child but sadly it did not/will not happen.
My younger son wants a family; he is looking for the right person.
Like the commenter upthread, I have a neighbor with two young children--not family but fun to celebrate birthdays etc. and watch them grow and change.
Recently blundered into a dispute between another neighbor and her granddaughter, when I admired the child's green nail polish...
I don't ever expect to be a grandparent. But I have my grandnieces and nephews.
Our neighbors have grandchildren and we see them often. My pool is and has been
open to them.
We've got 5 grandkids; two sets - which both lived about 9-10 hours drive away. Since the families seem established and stable, my wife and I decided to move to the same town as one set ... which also puts us closer to the other set.
Grandparents have the advantage of knowing just how brief the 'childhood window' really is. We do not want to miss that brief 'window' or the bonding experience between grandparents and grandchildren that comes with it. --- In that respect, grandchildren are a lot like children: Those who invest the time in them, reap the rewards of a deeper relationship that lasts beyond childhood. Those who do not invest the time ... often find themselves wondering why they don't have a strong relationship later on. (It's up to the parents and grandparents to forge the relationship bond, not the children).
I'm glad to read that there can be happiness without grandchildren. I never had kids so of course I don't have grandchildren but I just realized the I do have step-grandchildren.
Just realized because my husband has grown kids back in the UK who have kids. His Ex has turned the grown kids against him and we can't afford to go back for a visit anyway. I wanted to live THERE and be near the grandchildren but he chose to live here.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
