Have the early deaths of friends and relatives influenced your retirement plans? (pension, divorce)

[Lakewooder]

I've had a close cousin die in his forties and two other first cousins die in their late 50s.

But I'm really shellshocked at losing one of my best friends of nearly 40 years to a sudden massive heart attack a few weeks ago. He was 52. We had just taken a driving trip to visit old friends in another town after we had been out of touch for some time. Was a great trip and we discussed a lot of life and death matters - who knew one of us would be gone a week or so later?

[Keeper]

I am sorry for your loss.. I lost my DH at the age of 52.. after that I was offered early retirement. I took it and haven't been sorry. It would have been better if he had been around although I wouldn't have taken the retirement when I did. I have had several friends pass away and you realize you have to make the best of your life as you just never know when your job is done on this earth

[StealthRabbit]

Becoming a caregiver at age 18 for a parent changed my perspective (and plans... for the next 30+ yrs).

The parent become permanently disabled (age 50) induced from business stress issues. I have several friends who retired early due to a family history of early death or disabilities.

My theory is that you should be retired when your kids are home, and go back to work about 5 yrs AFTER they leave, (with at least 3 months / yr of time off). IF you have to return to work at all...,

Some of my early retiree co-workers went into 'job sharing' in their 50's and enjoyed 20 more yrs of 'recreational employment' (3mo on, 3mo off)

I do carry LTC (which may not be smart...) I would much rather 'check-out' pre-care in my sleep.

[mellanieblue]

My fiance and I are working very hard to save. In the past I had a very "whatever" attitude about savings and retirement, but my father died of lung cancer at age 52 and was still working 50 plus hours a week when he was diagnosed. My mother is getting on into her fifties and is still working 50 plus hours a week to make ends meet and save for retirement...as it stands she will probably not retire until she is 65 or 70. My grandmother didn't retire until 70. Too old! You should be able t relax and enjoy life at that age! I hope to have a decent savings by the time I'm 60.....life can be so short.

[flyfishnevada]

We had a friend suddenly die last year at the age of 47. Felt sick, thought it was the flu, finally got so sick he had to go to the hospital and died within days. He got an infection that went to his heart. Even if they could have saved him, his heart was all but destroyed and working at like 10%. Stunned us.

I had been really sick, as I have said before, with diverticulitis. Even the doctors don't know how the golf ball sized pocket of puss in my colon didn't rupture. I was so lucky. Had ten inches of colon removed (and have the 10 inch scar on my belly to show for it) a couple of months later. At least I lost some weight during all of that and more since.

Really makes you realize that life is precious and can be taken away any moment. That's part of my motivation to retire and begin doing what I want to do. I am hoping for another 40-45 years on the planet, but if not, my remaining years are going to be all mine!

[AnotherBravesFan]

I was in a stressful job I hated going to every morning, and a coworker's wife died suddenly at 49. She was only a year older than I was. Her death really shook me; I realized I really wasn't "living" (i.e., enjoying life), just working and sacrificing for some later payoff called retirement. I strengthened my resolve to do whatever it took to get out of that place while I still had some sanity. A year later, I quit and never looked back. While I was not old enough to draw retirement, I had enough savings to cover my expenses until then.

I had also seen people in my office work into their 60s or beyond (and not really because they wanted to), get ill, and die. I was determined not to be one of those people.

When the shock and pain of your friend's untimely death subsides enough, I hope you can gain some insight or other peace as you go forward in your life.

[Mightyqueen801]

I am almost 52. I have lost a lot of coworkers, many tragically, others through various diseases. In addition, my brother died four years ago, when he was the age I am now. Yes, those things definitely influence me.

I am never going to be rich, but I have whatever I need. I see so many people I work with afraid to retire, afraid that they won't be able to maintain a certain level of lifestyle. I will retire as soon as I can, which will be in about three years, and be content to live fairly simply, but my time will be my own.

[Curmudgeon]

Yes and no. Over the course of almost 20 years, especially during the last five or six of them, seven co-workers died, mostly of heart attacks. All were in their 50s. I decided that the best guarantor of long life was to survive your 50s but at 48 was divorced, lost everything, including half my retirement, so I had to keep working.

When my 60th birthday arrived I celebrated figuring I might have dodged a bullet. I planned to retire at 64, which I'll reach in two months, but at 62 decided there's a lot more to life than work and even at a reduced pension I could easily "make it" with that and Social Security. I pulled the plug!

Best decision I ever made.

[Escort Rider]

The question you are posing is indeed the retirement question. Whether it's deciding when to apply for Soc. Sec., when to take another type of pension, or whether one has saved enough to retire now, it boils down to how long one figures one will live. It seems to me several posters here have the right idea: Decide to live simply and retire as soon as the simple life is financially assured. Those fortunate ones who really love their job don't need to be in such a hurry, as they may already be living the ideal life. No set answer here!

[Lakewooder]

I forgot to add that my friend who died suddenly had just been laid off from his job a few months ago. I think he would have found another as he was a super-achiever but he told me he just did not have enough to last for a semi-retirement.

I don't know how much stress really plays in heart attacks but I can't help but think it was the cause.

Thanks all for the kind words.