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There must be thousands of older people out there who can't stand each other ( I've known a few ) but never divorce simply because it would constitute financial ruin for both of them. When I was still working it was pretty common for some of the high level management types in my industry to have been married and divorced, some a couple of times or more. They wanted out of the relationship and had the cash to get it done.
I've seen a few couples like the Costanzas and always wonder why they stuck together.....
If your happiness (and especially, your mental health) would be improved by removing yourself from your partner, then you need to start researching every aspect of the process.
You may find that there is, indeed, a way to live separately without you both being in poverty. This may entail moving to another part of the country . . . or getting a roommate . . . or finding a job (or a different job) or continuing to work past 65.
But if you truly feel that your life (mental and/or physical health, especially) would be better apart from your spouse, then you need to consider every possible way to make that happen - especially if there is any type of abuse involved.
If you want to get divorced, then get divorced. Divorced people take care of themselves by working to pay bills. Can't you do that?
I'm single and I'm not a spring chicken and I'm planning my retirement and golden years as my life is my responsibility. Have you done any life planning?
If you want to get divorced, then get divorced. Divorced people take care of themselves by working to pay bills. Can't you do that?
I'm single and I'm not a spring chicken and I'm planning my retirement and golden years as my life is my responsibility. Have you done any life planning?
That seems a bit harsh. Younger newly divorced people do take care of themselves, of course, but at first it can be very difficult and at an older age it would probably be even harder. Divorce at any age can knock you for a loop emotionally. This poster's issues are compounded by financial difficulties and they don't even know if they an afford to live anywhere on their own at first. Whether it's their own fault or not doesn't matter and I don't think this is the place to lay blame on anyone. The person is asking for advice. Kudos to you for taking care of your life. Your experience might be helpful to this person.
The op has indicated she has a job.
What she has to decide is whether or not getting rid of the husband is worth living under reduced circumstances.
Whether or not he can make it on his own shouldn't be a concern of hers
The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence, just be sure that living apart will be better for you than what you have now. My ex thought single life was going to be so much better than what we had for 28 years. Now she lives alone in a one bedroom apartment, is basically a recluse, and has hinted to me that she made a serious mistake that now can't be reversed. By now our home would have been paid off and we would have been set for the rest of our lives.
Try to work things out first, and if that fails then just do it and be prepared to go it on your own.
Exactly! Many of the complexes I've spoken with have at least 50 on the wait list; one place even had 150 on the list! There are more low income apartments being constructed, but ironically one I found out about that isn't opening until around May 2014 already had 30 on a wait list.
For the new constructions, one needs to know the minute it's announced to have a chance of getting an apartment.
Just proves there are many more low income seniors than anyone expected.
Definitely not true at ALL facilities. Location is everything. When looking for a place for my M-I-L we went to several that had immediate openings. Only problem ...turns out she made a few dollars too much each year to qualify and not enough to afford the non-EO places.
Most places have an agency called something like Area "X" Agency for Aging, which is a repository for info on senior resources. This might be a good place to start. Another possibility is if you know any other single senior ladies that are living alone, especially in a single family home, that might want a temporary (or permanent) roommate. Basically ask them if you could pay to stay with them for awhile until you get on your feet and set up somewhere else.
Are things so bad with the husband that you don't think you could work out an amicable arrangement? I'm sure there are folks who have worked out separate, but in the same house, arrangements.
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abuse
