The new normal - living into the nineties! Are you prepared? (spouses, marriage)
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Lie, damned lies, and statistics. The US has a lower life expectancy because so many infants and children die. They have no medical care and drag the average down. If you manage to live to 65, Medicare stands a good chance of patching you together well into your 90s.
The US is 29th in child survival. A child born in Singapore has a better chance of seeing its first birthday than one in the US.
Good point. It's like saying the average age one died in the middle ages was something like the thirties. But then there are numerous documented figures who lived well into the sixties. One dig of a mass grave during plague times found that there were many more than expected into the sixties and beyond, and one woman who was in her nineties. But as the the death rate among children was so enormous it skeued the stats.
I've notice this is looking at geneology. You'll see a large number of children, but at least three or four have only a birth date. And for women if they make it past child bearing age, they tend to live longer than expected. My grand parents on my mother's side lived to 87 and 93. Grandma was sharp right up to the end, even after recovering from a stoke, and my grandfather was trimming the fruit trees in the yard before he got sick and just generally failed. He died in his own bed at home. My mom was 62, just barely, but she refused to quit smoking and wouldn't see a doctor even though she was sick. Dad was in the mid 80's and didn't remember anything, perhaps from a blockage to the blood supply to his brain.
I'm just about to be offically retired and soon after will outlive my mom. Nobody else in dad's family has developed his condition so as long as I don't go that way I want to live as long as I can. His younger sister died at 101, still with her mind. My son just got married and my guess is grandchild number one will be along soon (no birth control allowed) and I'd like to see them grow up.
I think if I was to end up like dad or be trapped in a facility (hospitals are really glad to see me go since I don't like them and don't hide it) I'd like to see as much of the future as I can.
One ancestor was among the first convicts shipped here under the transportation act in 1719. He was indentured/captive for twelve years then started the trek to the midwest. He saw the revolution and was in good mind and fair body when he died at 91. If you read the expected lifespan of the time, he should have gone decades before, but anyone can beat it if they live in reasonable health and simply have the genes.
To me its not how long you live, but what you make of it. I know I won't have much money, then really never have had since I grew up. But I'm at peace with all the old agendas and enjoy what I have. People who can never just smell the roses will never really appreciate the now and if you can its a great gift.
My mom will be 87 in a couple of months and she's been doing a LOT of falling down lately. Once she fell UP the steps to the kitchen. Then she fell over a milk crate my nephew had left in the middle of the floor. She was a mess after that one and looked like she'd been in a bar fight. Then she fell twice in three days, the second fall broke her left wrist. Sigh. She's had hip replacements for years but other than that she's pretty healthy.
It's scary, in a way, how many classmates have been 'lost'. I see the memorials all the time and it's really sad when they were good friends. I keep thinking that if I make it to 85 I will have 'done good'. I always say that my family dies either young and tragic or old and worn out!
I was never popular and didn't care what was 'in' and didn't have school spirt, so I wouldn't know many of the classmates, but at nearly sixty two, have started losing people. Oddly, its almost always around Thanksgiving, and I've lost two beloved dogs then too. I try to ignore it. But I haven't been out the west coast since moving, and keep hearing from friends out there about losing people in our own little society. It makes me feel sad. But what is worse is a friend who I've known since college. Last time I heard from her was around thanksgiving, and her family was all in crisis of some sort and she couldn't talk. Then the phone just rang and rang. Then it rang a few times and hung up and then it was shut off. I'd just like to know. Her husband had gone back to the hospital and it was an emergency. I find that I miss her more than the friend who died thanksgiving eve the year before.
I've had health problems all my life, but overall I manage fine. I know my limitations and live with them. I suppose as I get older I'll just continue to do that. I think the greatest gift I've been given is learning to live in the moment. In bad times I have had a long list of things which were wrong, but then I learned to look for the bright thing or the perfect tree or the birds singing. Life is now, not about what you lost or never had.
It happens a lot. Once a person is immobile, from say a hip fracture, they're in bed, have surgery, and then in bed some more. Chances of lung clots, bedsores, pneumonia, poor nutrition, etc. escalate. It's not the hip fx persay, it's the immobility that creates the big problems.
Yeah, I understood it wasn't just the broken hip, etc.. It just seems like so many older folks go through this. Pneumonia is the one I most hear associated with it.
My mother, who died at 87, broke both hips at the same time. The doctors speculated that as she was walking one hip broke, then when she fell and hit the ground the other one snapped.
My parents were lucky because one son supported them in their old age.
My father lived until 95 and played his flute the day before he died.
Wow, I wonder what the odds are for that happening! Poor woman. I would love to see my mom live to 95 but I have a hunch she won't. I would love to be able to fully support my mom. She's worth it but I can't.
My grandma died 2 years ago due to a broken hip at 89. It wasn't the hip itself, but other damage that occurred which at 89, the body really cannot repair. Still a broken hip at that age is basically a death sentence since doctors probably won't do the invasive surgery required to replace it.
I took care of a lady for a while that this happened to. She fell off the bed onto the floor and broke her hip. They took her to Mayo in Phx. and she never came home. Pneumonia, and she had bad diabetes and kidney disease. She was only in her late 50s, younger than me at the time.
She told us that she had been falling a lot at home before we placed her in the home. It was probably due to improper medication dosage. She would forget what she had taken already. We thought she was okay, but she wasn't.
At least at the home if she falls, they are right there to x-ray here and take action. She was on hospice before and made a miraculous recovery.
She looks good, but you never know.
Since I have been following your mom's 'experience' for quite a while I have to say I'm impressed with her recovery and how well she's doing. "Miraculous" is probably a good word! Thankfully my mom is on minimal meds and nothing that would make her too 'out of kilter' if she mistakenly took one extra or something.
I was never popular and didn't care what was 'in' and didn't have school spirt, so I wouldn't know many of the classmates, but at nearly sixty two, have started losing people. Oddly, its almost always around Thanksgiving, and I've lost two beloved dogs then too. I try to ignore it. But I haven't been out the west coast since moving, and keep hearing from friends out there about losing people in our own little society. It makes me feel sad. But what is worse is a friend who I've known since college. Last time I heard from her was around thanksgiving, and her family was all in crisis of some sort and she couldn't talk. Then the phone just rang and rang. Then it rang a few times and hung up and then it was shut off. I'd just like to know. Her husband had gone back to the hospital and it was an emergency. I find that I miss her more than the friend who died thanksgiving eve the year before.
I've had health problems all my life, but overall I manage fine. I know my limitations and live with them. I suppose as I get older I'll just continue to do that. I think the greatest gift I've been given is learning to live in the moment. In bad times I have had a long list of things which were wrong, but then I learned to look for the bright thing or the perfect tree or the birds singing. Life is now, not about what you lost or never had.
I think I had a rather unique high school experience and probably knew more people than your average student does now. When I started, as a Freshman, it was a brand new still being built school so only two classes...Freshmen and Sophomores. Maybe 400 kids total. By the time the Sophomores were Seniors we had all four classes but those first two classes stayed pretty tight. So even though we weren't necessarily 'close' friends with everyone we did know everyone and were at least friends. So when I see an obit or announcement about one of them passing away I feel a little twinge of sadness.
My 'sad' times always seem to happen in March. Don't know why but it's always been that way. Even right now we've got a health crisis with two family members. Both nearly died but things are looking up, finally. My dad passed away in March and so did my son. Also got married twice in March. Shoulda known better...
Been lucky all my life in the good health department but I know that can change on a dime so I don't get smug!
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