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Refusing food or fluids is one way and it's reportedly not painful. For example, people who go on extended fasts reported euphoria and well-being after a few days of actual hunger.
Yes, that's what we were told by hospice in two cases. My stepfather and later my mother were terminally ill and refusing food, not to deliberately hasten death but because they had no appetite. When we asked the hospice charge nurse if we should continue to urge them to take nourishment, we were told it was up to us but that they would probably be more comfortable and content if we didn't.
Both remained comfortable right up to the end, after several days without food. They did take small sips of water but not nearly enough to prevent dehydration. We administered pain meds rectally, with their (the patients') knowledge and consent. They both had remarkably peaceful passings.
So if I have a lingering terminal condition, my go plan is to abstain from food and water while continuing to take palliative meds.
I keep my medical directives up to date.
Windwalker2 When my father was put in a nursing home by my sibling, against his wishes to die at home, he chose to starve himself to death. This method actually has a name which I've forgotten now, maybe its VSED. He was very old, and slower mentally, but did not have AD or anything like that. When he was put in there a DNR and no tube feeding or ventilator assistance was specified. The nursing home obviously knew what he was doing and gave him some support to make it less difficult. It did not seem to be a hard death and allowed a couple of weeks for all of us to say our good-byes. The nursing home wrote on his death certificate that he had died of cancer of long duration. He did not have cancer.
My FIL's death certificate reads: "failure to thrive". He also refused to eat.
I think about it all the time. I hate to have my family deal with brains and gore, so the shower is my in home option, though I will probably try to get to the woods when it's time.
Don't know where you are, but having him wander off in the cold and just not come back would be a major concern, and an effective way to pretty quickly and painlessly end ones life.
One of my cousins committed suicide. First he called 911, told them what he was going to do and where to find his body and hung up. Walked up the hill behind his house and shot himself in the head. So sad. He was only 54.
As a Pastor, I've dealt with quite a few members and their families as their death approached. Whatever the cause, its never pleasant for the family. But in only one case, did it seem like a difficult death for the person who died. IMHO, its always harder for the family. My suggestion would be to try to be as loving and supportive as you can. But very often, as people age, they kind of drift off mentally. In some ways, the Alzheimers actually seems to make their victims deaths easier. Their minds are really gone, and they just kind of take whatever comes on a moment to moment basis. Its hard to watch, when you've known them as an active and lively person. Its hard to see their personalities disappear. But the reality, one way or another, its a trip we all have to take. My suggestion. When you visit, try to bring them something, maybe just a little candy or something, be positive, happy, loving and kind. Bring the good news, leave the bad outside, and give them a hug. Then at the funeral/memorial service, you can be have some peace that you left them with kindness and love.
I've lost a large number of loved ones over the years and one thing that has always stood out in my mind was the fact that the older they were when they died the easier they accepted it. Only one that I can think of had a real fear of dying. I never asked her why. In so many cases I can remember various family members stating emphatically that they were "ready to go". Even my dad, which used to make me mad because I didn't want him "to go". I also lost several younger family members but they were disabled from birth and seemed to always accept that they wouldn't be around long term. I notice that the older I get the less the idea of dying bothers me BUT I am in NO hurry to leave this life either. My mom will be 87 in a few weeks and feels the same way. Well, truthfully, she accepts her demise more and easier than I do mine, at this point. I do accept the inevitable.
So, for those of you who have indicated that you would use your Smith & Wesson to end it all if you found yourself in my father's position, how do you believe you would respond if you found your parent actively contemplating the same? (Note: I could have posted this on the caregivers forum but I am specifically interested in hearing from seniors).
I had a mother that died from Alzheimers back in 1994 after spending 10 years in a state veteran's home. I visited her weekly and tried to spend the last months of her lucid life doing something that would make her happy (taking her out for different things that she enjoyed). I remember when the curtain was slowly descending and she was in and out and would ask "What's happening to me"? Now my wife and I have an elderly neighbor going through the same thing. She fades in and out, good days and bad. We are trying to subtly convince her husband, who has his own health problems, that she will probably become more than he can take care of within a matter of months/year (wandering at night, wandering away from home) and he should think about finding professional care for her. This illness is so sad. I would sit down and talk with them and discuss options for care, etc. I would also ask if there was anything simple I could do to help them make late-life decisions while they are still lucid. Maybe try to take a positive approach with them. They like to reminisce a lot in these instances I have found. And they get frustrated with being confused so much. My sympathies to you.
My mother' oldest sister had Alzheimer's that was diagnosed in her late 70s. In her early 80s, she had to go to a nursing home when she no longer recognized anyone. She died 8 years after entering the nursing home.
My uncle had no diagnosis that we know of, but in his early 80s, went for a walk in the mountains during the winter and was not found until the following spring in a ravine when the snow had melted. I was told by my mother that it was accidental, but recently my brother who has had contact with a cousin told me that they suspect it was suicide, that he had been very depressed. I can see the immediate family trying to cover that up or in denial.
Now, my mother has moderate stage Alzheimer's at 82, and she frequently mentions she doesn't want to die like her sister did, but I know she would never think of suicide. She eats very little now and has gotten very thin. It is frightening to see her change in that respect, in addition to memory impairments. Perhaps it is her way of letting go.
My mother' oldest sister had Alzheimer's that was diagnosed in her late 70s. In her early 80s, she had to go to a nursing home when she no longer recognized anyone. She died 8 years after entering the nursing home.
That's actually amazing, because the average life span of a person in a nursing home is 18 months.
Originally Posted by rigizug
My mother' oldest sister had Alzheimer's that was diagnosed in her late 70s. In her early 80s, she had to go to a nursing home when she no longer recognized anyone. She died 8 years after entering the nursing home.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2Feebs
That's actually amazing, because the average life span of a person in a nursing home is 18 months.
I think nursing homes were different back then. Now we have Assisted Living and dedicated Alzheimers facilities for people with dementia. People in today's nursing homes are more likely to be those with physical ailments.
My dad has early onset Alzheimer's and he says repeatedly that he wants to die. He also spends hours crying in his room, and when he and my mom come to visit (several times a week) he will tell me how sad he is and how he wants to get a divorce and run away.
He doesn't have the ability to form a plan, remember it and carry it out though.
My mother has talked to my dad's psychiatrist about my dad's depression and they're trying to find the right dose of antidepressant for him.
It would be hard to just let him go, he tried to commit suicide ten years ago, before the dementia, and my mom was just going to let him die. I made her take him to a hospital to get his stomach pumped.
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