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The first thing I consider is her face and personality and I don't care what the body looks like. She should be smart, funny and just love to have fun and travel a little.
. And he dated -- a lot -- he dated women his own age who lived in the same senior citizen facility he lived in, although he told my friend he was sure that all the younger women they encountered in the course of, say, going to lunch, really "wanted him" -- I think he really thought that. But he dated very nice older women who were age appropriate. He had sex with most of them, and here's what I keep thinking about: He actually told my friend (much to my friend's horror and chagrin) all the details of his new love life, and he made fun of all those women's bodies, even though he was supposed to be their "boyfriend"...at the very least they assumed he liked them and that he was their friend.
This is horrible! I never worried at all about being naked around my lovers...now, I am thinking is THAT what a man will be thinking to himself while he is having sex with me? That is just horrible to contemplate.
So, men: please be honest because I want to know the truth before I think any further about the possibility of opening my life up to another man.
Thanks in advance for your honest and thoughtful answers.
I wouldn't be concerned. What you're looking for, and what he is looking for aren't on the same page. He was looking to get laid, and by implying (via a sense of bravado) that 'all the younger women wanted him' he comes across as a braggart crowing about his alleged sexual prowess. His making fun of the older women he (rolling my eyes) 'seduced' is just more puffery about how he can have younger women, but his magnetism is so compelling to women that he'll even satisfy those poor women he doesn't find attractive out of kindness to pitifully satisfy their self esteem. He's an ass.
Gentlemen don't have conquests, they see women as mental and emotional equals. Find yourself a gentleman.
So, men: please be honest because I want to know the truth before I think any further about the possibility of opening my life up to another man.
Oh my, by all means, set aside your fears. First of all, that 85 yo man was an absolute cad, and is not typical. A gentleman does not kiss and tell, he keeps his mouth shut and protects a woman's reputation. That man, to do those things, while his wife was still apparently alive, was reprehensible.
A 62 year old woman is not a 20 year old never married, never a mother Playboy Centerfold, and to expect her to look like one is a total detachment from reality. There are many 60 something women that are drop-dead-gorgeous, and still have figures that most women half their age wish they had, but for most, time and nature has taken a bit of a toll. This also works the other way, many of we older men look awful, both clothed and in the raw. Exercise still works, hitting the gym can result in a huge improvement in general health, looks, and self confidence and esteem. We are never too old to start, men and women in their 80's have started, and have made it work.
As others have commented, at first go slowly and cautiously in the senior dating game. We are not in our 20's anymore, and do not have those raging hormones. If a man cares for you, wants a serious realtionship, and is willing to commit, he will not expect sex until deep into a serious exclusive only with you romance. If he is only out for a fling and trying to run up the score, you can show him the door.
Bottom line; You have nothing to worry about. When the moment of intimacy arrives, all a man that cares for you, or better still loves you, is going to see and feel is the sight of a beautiful woman. Go for it.
As a man in my fifties I can tell you something about most men: we don't try to sleep with a woman unless we are sexually attracted to her. Even if it's a late-night, alcohol-fueled roll in the hay, there has to be some attraction, whether it's physical, mental or emotional-ideally all three.
The huge majority of us don't stand around talking about how we have humiliated our "conquests." The few who do are regarded as either clowns, or liars, and are not taken seriously. Further, it's kind of hard for me to believe that even the 85 year old man you describe would find any woman still receptive to him after insulting her appearance, no matter how desperate she may be. Go for it, every relationship involves a little step of faith!
As a man in my fifties I can tell you something about most men: we don't try to sleep with a woman unless we are sexually attracted to her. Even if it's a late-night, alcohol-fueled roll in the hay, there has to be some attraction, whether it's physical, mental or emotional-ideally all three.
The huge majority of us don't stand around talking about how we have humiliated our "conquests." The few who do are regarded as either clowns, or liars, and are not taken seriously. Further, it's kind of hard for me to believe that even the 85 year old man you describe would find any woman still receptive to him after insulting her appearance, no matter how desperate she may be. Go for it, every relationship involves a little step of faith!
And then there is "Coyote ugly"!
A situation encountered after a night of consuming alcohol whereby a person, usually male, wakes the next morning in a strange bed with a sexual partner from the previous evening who is completely physically undesirable (see ugly, nasty, two bagger) and sleeping on the man's arm. The hapless male would rather gnaw off his own arm than wake the woman and have to face the ills of his intoxicated choices the previous evening. Originating from a phenomena whereby a coyote captured in a jaw trap will chew off its own leg to escape certain death.
You just have to take your chances. Don't miss out on what you want in this phase of your life because of insecurities. Go with the flow.
Everyone has insecurities about some aspect of his/her body (weight, hair, teeth, wrinkles, something!)
Some men objectify all women yet can't see their own (often glaring!) flaws. You won't be attracted to those self-centered types, anyway, so no worries. :-)
There's never going to be a perfect situation or a perfect person.
Just think about all the things that you're missing out on because you're afraid.
Life isn't about hiding from the storms, it's about dancing in the rain.
Life is too short, have no regrets.
...He had sex with most of them, and here's what I keep thinking about: He actually told my friend (much to my friend's horror and chagrin) all the details of his new love life, and he made fun of all those women's bodies... .
That's what a cad who was just "having sex" would say, and do.
You, however, want a Man to make love with. There is a HUGE difference.
OP, I'm sorry you had to hear this kind of information and I'm equally happy to know that many men in that age group and position do not feel that way toward older women. I imagine that decent, respectful human beings, of both genders, recognize that we all age and our bodies are part of that. I hope you don't hesitate to get out there and meet some nice guys. You don't have to have sex with them all or ever. Good relationships take time and you'll know it when it's the right one.
All the best to you.
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