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Old 06-27-2014, 06:58 PM
Location: At the Lake (in Texas)
2,070 posts, read 2,036,182 times
Reputation: 5032


Shadow, I agree with you 100%. If I used online dating it would ONLY be for initial contact. I don't want a cyber-relationship, and your thoughts are exactly why I also said I will have anyone I consider letting into my life investigated as thoroughly as possible. It IS better to be safe than sorry, and it's better to be alone than to be with someone who is not to be trusted. Thanks for your thoughtful response.
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Old 06-27-2014, 09:00 PM
Location: Sarasota Florida
1,236 posts, read 3,608,978 times
Reputation: 1230
Default Internet dating....

After my b/f of 20+ years passed away I opened profiles on several of the internet dating sites.

My conclusion after three years.... it is only a venue to meet people. The rest is up to you, to evaluate the person by any means available and to determine if the person meets your expectations and if the compatibility is there. Nothing can take the place of "in-person" experience together, over lots of time. Although having the person checked out is handy, only time together can reveal if he/she has any personality disorder or addictions or unacceptable behavior

After three years I have deleted all my profiles on the dating sites.
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Old 06-28-2014, 01:30 AM
Location: Pac. NW
2,021 posts, read 1,523,738 times
Reputation: 3601
I care more about what I see when I look into her eyes more than anything else.
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Old 06-28-2014, 02:54 AM
71,638 posts, read 71,777,271 times
Reputation: 49230
you can always try a good pick up line..

does this rag smell like chloroform to you? lol
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Old 06-28-2014, 11:21 AM
1,770 posts, read 2,443,971 times
Reputation: 5164
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
One important thing to remember if you decide to go the internet route (there are internet dating sites for the over 50 set, such as "Our Time") is to never fall for the so-called "romance scam". Generally these are people who post fake profiles and get people involved with them by e-mail and text and profess love before they have even met. I know we think we would never fall for something like that, but people do strange things when they are lonely. Then these scammers start asking for money. Usually it starts a as loan to help them out of some imaginary jam, and then it's to pay for plane tickets to come see you. Then they somehow can't make the trip because of some new crisis that requires more money, etc, etc, etc. This sounds improbable, but lonely people fall for this all the time. A co-worker lost her husband to a Russian scam artist who tricked her husband into believing he was in love with the scammer and he left his wife of 30+ years for a woman who had no intention of ever meeting him. Of course that was AFTER he had sent her thousand of dollars from their savings account. I saw a seemingly intelligent retired widow on Dr. Phil who had given over $100,000 to a scammer over a period of a year before her children found out. She still didn't believe, until Dr. Phil proved it, that the man she thought she was in love with didn't exist. Watch out for the RED FLAGS...1)if someone won't at least meet for coffee after 2 weeks or so of correspondence...2) they live in a distant location and want to just have an on-line relationship for an extended period...3) they ask for any amount of money...4) you can't verify their back story via any of the usual research methods. Always meet for the first time in a public place like a coffee shop or museum and tell a friend where you are going before you go and that you will call them after you get home. There are numerous background checking websites for a nominal fee. Sorry to be so scary, but better safe than sorry.
You are absolutely correct. I have a friend who studied Russian in college and worked in Moscow for 5 years. He does translating as a business and you should hear the stories he has regarding the Russian bride scams. It is so pathetic that some people are so desperate and lonely (and probably really nice people) that they fall for the scams. I saw the same sort of thing working in the strip club. There were pathetic older men who left their wives for a stripper, thru the family out of the house, signed the house over TO the stripper. I've seen men cash in their entire retirement account to give to a stripper. It was sickening!

People our age should figure that anyone who wants a relationship had better have at least as much in the way of monetary assets as I have and had better be more than eager to enter into a pre-nupt if it gets that far.
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Old 06-28-2014, 11:51 AM
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,954 posts, read 7,395,135 times
Reputation: 16288
Originally Posted by mathjak107 View Post
you can always try a good pick up line..

does this rag smell like chloroform to you? lol
You should be on stage
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Old 06-28-2014, 02:12 PM
18,429 posts, read 20,176,029 times
Reputation: 26996
Originally Posted by MagnoliaThunder View Post
Okay, here goes. I don't usually post threads but I've been thinking about something. But first I have to give a little background to explain why I am now asking this question.
I have not dated in years...family issues, family illness, and then after a few years I really didn't feel I wanted to be in a relationship. I have a full life and, in past years, I dated a lot of nice guys but I never felt I wanted to get serious and certainly didn't want to remarry.
Now that I am approaching retirement in a few years, I have begun to think that perhaps I would enjoy having a man in my life again...the time seems to be right and I would enjoy a partner, I think, to do things with and to have an intimate relationship again.
Okay, now here's the situation: I look nice for my age (62), but my body has aged like most people's bodies certainly do -- I have not been intimate with a man since the mid-90s and I have changed a lot.
I wouldn't even worry about this except that I am thinking of something one of my best friends told me. I have a best friend who is a man about 10 years younger than me, and we are "siblings-of-choice"...he told me years ago about his then 85-year-old father in law (he is now divorced and the old man is dead)...this guy looked every bit of 85, and his wife had been admitted to an Alzheimer's Care facility, so he decided he would be free to date. And he dated -- a lot -- he dated women his own age who lived in the same senior citizen facility he lived in, although he told my friend he was sure that all the younger women they encountered in the course of, say, going to lunch, really "wanted him" -- I think he really thought that. But he dated very nice older women who were age appropriate. He had sex with most of them, and here's what I keep thinking about: He actually told my friend (much to my friend's horror and chagrin) all the details of his new love life, and he made fun of all those women's bodies, even though he was supposed to be their "boyfriend"...at the very least they assumed he liked them and that he was their friend.
This is horrible! I never worried at all about being naked around my lovers...now, I am thinking is THAT what a man will be thinking to himself while he is having sex with me? That is just horrible to contemplate.
So, men: please be honest because I want to know the truth before I think any further about the possibility of opening my life up to another man.
Thanks in advance for your honest and thoughtful answers.
Meh I'm in my 40s wife's in her 60s. I have no problem with her body. Sure she's not built like a 20 yo anymore but I don't make fun of her body. It's not like I'm a carved statue of David.
The guy you speak of sounds like a child trapped in a old mans body. He's probably ALWAYS been that guy who brags and has to tell his buddies every detail. Older doesn't mean he will change or be more mature. I'm sure at 80 something he's sporting a carved 6 pack shoulders to die for and a rock hard 12 inch penis.
If the man you meet makes fun of your body kick his azz out the door. Let him go find it elsewhere. I'm sure tons of young hotties will be running after him to ravage him.
He obviously has no attachment to these women he has sex with. He sounds like a immature a-hole
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Old 06-28-2014, 02:28 PM
71,638 posts, read 71,777,271 times
Reputation: 49230
Reminds me of the wife who said to her husband, can you turn off the light ,i much prefer making love in the dark.

The husband goes awe honey you don't have to be ashamed of your aging body.

She replied ,oh it wasn't my body i was turning the light off for. Lol

I guess beauty is only a light switch away.
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Old 06-28-2014, 03:01 PM
1,227 posts, read 1,260,773 times
Reputation: 4310
I had a man tell me: "all cats look alike in the dark".
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Old 06-29-2014, 06:50 AM
Location: Loudon, TN
5,787 posts, read 4,841,461 times
Reputation: 19463
A guy friend once told me when he looks at a naked woman all he cares about is that she's naked and smiling! If so, it's all good....
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