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Old 04-28-2014, 02:15 PM
Location: UpstateNY
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Good luck WestPalm, and have a safe trip.
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Old 04-28-2014, 02:24 PM
5,919 posts, read 6,727,222 times
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...and when the acting career takes her to New York, how long will she struggle over leaving Mom and Dad because the economics of being in NY are better for her?

Not long is the answer.

I am not being critical, just putting the shoe on the other foot.

Then YOU would be stuck in California, with a much higher cost of living, because you "did the right thing".

Do what you need to do. Life takes more twists and turns than a country road. After dear daughter goes broke, she too will find Florida and very nice place to live. Stranger things have, and will, happen.
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Old 04-28-2014, 02:52 PM
Location: Tennessee
23,614 posts, read 17,606,575 times
Reputation: 27693
I just turned 28. Five years ago, I was 23, working at Wal-Mart, living at home, and finishing college. Since then, I have worked in five different states (IA, IN, MA, TN, VA), have lived in four, and have been places and had to do things I never expected.

I wouldn't stay in CA for your daughter. The person I was at 23 isn't who I am today. These are critical years for career and personal formation, and she may very well have to move again for work. You don't want to tie yourself down in an area you don't like or can't afford just to be near her when she may very well need to move again shortly.
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Old 04-28-2014, 03:16 PM
Location: Penna
726 posts, read 1,011,425 times
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Blessings & Light go with you...
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Old 04-28-2014, 03:52 PM
38,270 posts, read 14,957,601 times
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Originally Posted by WestPalmHereIcome View Post
Thank you all for giving me the courage to leave. Although my heart is broken, we are leaving tomorrow to drive to FL.

IF we had chosen to stay here, we'd be about 2 or more hours away from her because we'd have to live in Orange County and she is in North LA. Traffic is really difficult here. Plus the housing situation would mean either living in a nieghborhood where we would not feel comfortable or take out a huge mortgage (we're talking like 4-5 hundred thousand on top of putting all our money (other than some stocks.) into trying to afford a home. When we lived in TN we had a fully paid off home (only 550K) but it was ours. In LA or OC there is no way we'd find a place we'd feel safe at that money. So... off we go.

I won't be back on for a few days unless I can get on a computer. But I am reading this from my phone.

I'm scared and exhausted. I hope she misses us enough someday to choose to move closer to family. I lived away from home at her age too, but my mom had been dead for years. =(

Thank you all again. Wish me luck!
Keeping a good thought for you.

Bon Voyage.
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Old 04-28-2014, 05:15 PM
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You're doing the right thing! How wonderful to know that you're moving to where you WANT to live and where it's best for you. Things will work out for all of you....
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Old 04-28-2014, 05:47 PM
48,516 posts, read 83,989,888 times
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Same as seeing her move out in the world; you think what is better for her and she should with you. Anger in'ts something loved one feels toward other getting what they want and advancing in life. Sad perhaps at thought of missing them .
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Old 04-28-2014, 07:37 PM
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,367 posts, read 1,638,436 times
Reputation: 3814
Originally Posted by TheMartianChick View Post
Your daughter has options, too!

Acting is no longer tied so strictly to Hollywood. She could move to NY and pursue a career on Broadway if she needed to be closer to family members. Law & Order and many movies are filmed in NY, too.Tyler Perry has a production studio in Georgia and The Walking Dead is filmed in GA, too. Universal Studios - Orlando bills itself as a working studio and does produce a couple of movies each year. There is also a budding industry which revolves around the producing films for online content providers. The world of voice acting can be done from just about anywhere for commercials, voice-over narration for tv shows, cartoon voices, etc...

Your daughter is opting to stay in California because she thinks that it is the best place to be for her career. It isn't the only place, though.

You can still see her on a regular basis by using a webcam and services like Skype. There was a time when the other side of the country may as well have been on the other side of the moon! With technology, it isn't much different than being next door.

Enjoy your retirement...You earned it!
I agree. It's not like the OP is abandoning her, and although she might prefer that Mom & Dad stay in Cali, she might also be somewhat looking forward to that time when she has true freedom, and is able to come into her own fully, so to speak.

Another fledgling flying on her own wings.

The OP makes it sound like Mom & Dad will be there should there be any turbulance ahead, and those wings find themselves a bit clipped. It might be an exciting new adventure for Mom & Dad too - there own kind of new freedom as well.

Cali is expensive, but there are econmical ways around that. Could always build a cheap teardrop and go park hopping - but, its not a way of life for everyone. Best wishes to the OP and her family.

Its not the end for anyone. Its the exciting start of something new for everyone. This is a natural cycle. We cant stop time, and time changes everything. All anyone can do is roll with it and have faith that everything will work out for the best.
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Old 04-29-2014, 06:26 AM
2,463 posts, read 2,106,176 times
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It really sounds that clearly California is not the right place for the parents and it is right for them to move.
I think perhaps the timing is perhaps a tad sooner than would be ideal though I don't know when would be ideal, considering everything you have all been through.
There is a great deal of wisdom in the comments that who knows where your daughter will be in even 5 years........and for all you know your Florida trip may prove to need refining as well. I guess you have to make the best decisions you can and be prepared for things to evolve. Even with the best preparation and time, you never know.
((but hugs and good fortunes to you -things will work out- ))
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Old 04-30-2014, 11:07 AM
1,316 posts, read 1,737,212 times
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I haven't lost a child which surely must contribute to your emotional state, but I do have only one daughter (age 30) and moving away when retirement comes is something I struggle with. At the same time, I am somewhat mystified by retirees who follow their kids around. However, like so many over 55, we are being priced out of our city due to increasing property taxes so will need to find another home after 30 years here. What I do think about is how hard it will be on her (hopefully several decades from now) if our health fails and we are several states away. We hope to have our minds made up in two years when I retire - trying to make the best economical and sensible decision is so hard though. I guess the key is to remain flexible and open to change.
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