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Old 05-10-2014, 03:50 PM
 
47,573 posts, read 60,673,444 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WestPalmHereIcome View Post
Thank you so much for this response. It makes sense, I just have to stop crying long enough to try to follow this advice! ♥

And you are right, our 17 year old son died a few years ago in AZ and it just complicates everything for everyone.

We aren't retiring yet, but we are going to where we have always wanted to retire, there just happens to be a job there for my husband. 10 more years to go!
Can you promise her several visits a year? That might help take some of the pain out of it for her -- fly her to visit you or make sure you get back to visit her.

Intellectually I know it's okay to move away and leave a 23 year old child behind -- I probably wouldn't do it myself. My kids will probably leave me behind -- but not vice versa. Probably as long as even one remains here, I'll stay. If they all leave then I don't know.
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Old 05-10-2014, 04:52 PM
 
8,204 posts, read 11,923,585 times
Reputation: 18020
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo48 View Post
Do you have any idea the travelling we do? We/I go back to NY at least 5 times a year. The holidays we drive because that time of the year is very EXPENSIVE to fly. Sorry, the kids, nor US, want to spend Christmas in Florida. That really SUCKS.
That's only true if you wait until November or December to book your trip. If you book now, it's not expensive at all. I just did a dummy booking through kayak for a one-week trip to NY departing on 12/22 and returning on 12/29. Delta has non-stop service from Palm Beach to LaGuardia for only $253 round-trip. (It's $280 out of Miami.) Or if you wanted to stay longer, you could return on Jan. 1st and fly r/t on Jet Blue for only $226 to EWR or $238 to JFK.

As I said, not expensive at all, and not much different than flying any other time of the year. The key is advance planning.
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Old 05-11-2014, 05:10 AM
 
6,399 posts, read 3,589,274 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MadManofBethesda View Post
That's only true if you wait until November or December to book your trip. If you book now, it's not expensive at all. I just did a dummy booking through kayak for a one-week trip to NY departing on 12/22 and returning on 12/29. Delta has non-stop service from Palm Beach to LaGuardia for only $253 round-trip. (It's $280 out of Miami.) Or if you wanted to stay longer, you could return on Jan. 1st and fly r/t on Jet Blue for only $226 to EWR or $238 to JFK.

As I said, not expensive at all, and not much different than flying any other time of the year. The key is advance planning.
No, that isn't much for one person, but it is over $500 for two people. Both of us go for Christmas. The other times, we generally take turns and one stays home.
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Old 05-11-2014, 08:25 AM
 
8,204 posts, read 11,923,585 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo48 View Post
Do you have any idea the travelling we do? We/I go back to NY at least 5 times a year. The holidays we drive because that time of the year is very EXPENSIVE to fly. Sorry, the kids, nor US, want to spend Christmas in Florida. That really SUCKS.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo48 View Post
No, that isn't much for one person, but it is over $500 for two people. Both of us go for Christmas. The other times, we generally take turns and one stays home.
I can certainly understand not wanting to spend $500+, but my response was directed to your specific comment that you didn't want to fly at Christmas because it was more expensive to fly at that time of year, which I demonstrated is not necessarily correct. Now you're saying that you don't fly at Christmas because both of you want to travel and you don't want to pay for two r/t airfares. That's an entirely different issue and one that I can certainly respect. I was just trying to be helpful with my earlier response.
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Old 02-27-2016, 09:09 AM
 
21 posts, read 16,576 times
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I understand completely how this Mom feels. The relationship because of distance is not the same even with Skype or calling. I moved recently from NY TO FL leaving my adult children (youngest 23) my grandchildren & my Parents. I struggle with the idea of moving back but the man I am with refuses to move back. Torn up! My family & I are very close but all changed, Holidays, etc. Do I go back to my Family or stay with my BF of 6 years?
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Old 02-27-2016, 09:19 AM
 
21 posts, read 16,576 times
Reputation: 43
Default Parent Guilt

I understand completely how this Mom feels. The relationship because of distance is not the same even with Skype or calling. I moved from NY TO FL leaving my adult children (youngest 23) my grandchildren & my Parents. I struggle with the idea of moving back but the man I am with refuses to move back. Torn up! My family & I are very close but all changed, Holidays, etc. Do I go back to my Family or stay with my BF of 6 years? (BF has no relationship with my family, I go alone to visit them). Need opinions also. Thank you.
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Old 02-27-2016, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,751,136 times
Reputation: 32309
The original poster has not posted on City-Data in about a year and a half. It would be very interesting to see how she, as well as her daughter, have adapted to the separation.
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Old 02-27-2016, 10:07 AM
 
Location: Columbia SC
8,992 posts, read 7,758,201 times
Reputation: 12201
I have a daughter from an early, youthful marriage whose Mother raised her. I was not around her when she was growing up except for occasional visits when I was in that part of the country. I relocated near her when she was in her early 20's and we reconnected. She married (I paid for the wedding), had a few kids, and we were fairly close for about 15 years. Well some 12 or so years ago when I decided to retire and relocate she was upset. She felt I was "insensitive" leaving her and my grandkids behind. We now only chat every few months. So be it. I consider it her issue, not mine.
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Old 02-27-2016, 10:11 AM
 
21 posts, read 16,576 times
Reputation: 43
My Family feels abandoned. I just don't know if moving was right for me either.
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Old 02-27-2016, 10:13 AM
 
21 posts, read 16,576 times
Reputation: 43
How do I find a Post that I submitted today? Thank you.
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