U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-30-2014, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Blue Ridge Mountains
1,827 posts, read 2,616,143 times
Reputation: 2887

Advertisements

Make it fun! You've gotten great advice
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-30-2014, 04:58 PM
 
3,942 posts, read 3,259,672 times
Reputation: 11298
My story is one that is typical of so many retirees, moved, lost a spouse, left a very rewarding but difficult job that I came to dislike intensely. Living the single life as a 62 year old was very daunting at first, I didn't know too many people in my new surroundings, it was a small town in the NW with lots of foul winter days to keep you penned up inside, I thought, once I saw how free I was the weather and the small town couldn't really hold me any longer. I took up an old hobby of photography and never looked back, traveling anywhere i wanted to go, speaking with tons of new found aquaintances about my travels and pics, finally meeting a very wonderful lady who shared my enthusiasm for travel AND photography and living the good life now.

GET OUT, JUST GO, DO, TALK, SEE, WALK, EAT, and live, just live the life that time has afforded you. Go to a coffee shop on a regular basis, be friendly, and be comfortable with your own company, as well as the company of others, accept ALL social invitations and MAKE your OWN social invitations to others, go to school, just sit back and enjoy your life. We all know how this movie ends, take a walk through a graveyard periodically, I did and it was really cathartic for me to realize that most if not all those in the ground had dreams unrealized, I knew if I didn't get up and out I might not ever have the life I always wanted.....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-01-2014, 09:16 AM
 
1,438 posts, read 721,064 times
Reputation: 3724
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
It has to do with the thread title. If you spend your time sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons, then you are in a rut big time. The point of almost every post in this thread is that we can do better than that - there are interesting and worthwhile things to do out there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TwoByFour View Post
Retiring is not for the faint of heart, that is one thing I have discovered.

It was a huge shock to my wife, and it is for me also (only 2 months into it). We all know we can travel, volunteer, do hobbies, etc, but still it is just a very different mind set especially if you were in a work role that was demanding with a lot of responsibility. It is a shock to get up in the morning and not be solving a million problems at work.

You will get your bearings and find a new life outside of work. It just takes time, apparently.

Hold on a minute.....these are very subjective opinions & generalizations that do not apply to everyone.

Just because someone may feel that sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons is a waste of time, others may feel that fishing, golfing, bowling, etc. is a waste of time. Also, it comes off as very high minded to say that "we can do better than that - there are interesting and worthwhile things to do out there"....as if you are the decider of what is worth doing. Perhaps these people at the park are relaxing after a lifetime of stress and labor and just want to people watch, converse,"sit back and smell the roses", etc......who are you to judge that it is not worthwhile or interesting?

Also, the second comment about being in a role that was demanding w/responsibility & a shock to not be solving problems at work.....Although I get that TwoByFour was mostly referring to himself, this type of thinking is also very subjective.....Some want nothing more than to retire FROM what he missed and the associated stress.

My point is the whole different strokes thing......some people by nature are introverts who enjoy quiet time alone and don't need to be constantly "doing something".....if that doesn't float your boat than so be it but it might be just fine for them. To judge them as "being in a rut" without knowing how they feel about is pompous and narrow-minded.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-01-2014, 11:49 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,729,443 times
Reputation: 32304
Quote:
Originally Posted by luckyram View Post
Hold on a minute.....these are very subjective opinions & generalizations that do not apply to everyone.

Just because someone may feel that sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons is a waste of time, others may feel that fishing, golfing, bowling, etc. is a waste of time. Also, it comes off as very high minded to say that "we can do better than that - there are interesting and worthwhile things to do out there"....as if you are the decider of what is worth doing. Perhaps these people at the park are relaxing after a lifetime of stress and labor and just want to people watch, converse,"sit back and smell the roses", etc......who are you to judge that it is not worthwhile or interesting?

My point is the whole different strokes thing......some people by nature are introverts who enjoy quiet time alone and don't need to be constantly "doing something".....if that doesn't float your boat than so be it but it might be just fine for them. To judge them as "being in a rut" without knowing how they feel about is pompous and narrow-minded.
Gee, I'm glad someone is here to defend those who spend their daylight hours sitting on park benches feeding pigeons. If that doesn't describe a rut then there is no such thing as a rut. That vital intellectual stimulation - I suppose they're collecting data on which pigeons are dominant and get more food than other pigeons - is just the ticket to ward off the various forms of dementia and mental decline.

Besides, if you go back and re-read the original post for this thread, you will note that the OP feels like he is in a rut and he doesn't like it. Therefore he asks for suggestions from others as to how to light a fire under himself. Most of the respondents have been on-topic.

Last edited by Escort Rider; 05-02-2014 at 12:10 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-02-2014, 12:22 AM
 
Location: San Francisco
16,415 posts, read 5,350,870 times
Reputation: 51304
Escort Rider, I think you and luckyram both make very good points. Not all of us need to be going and doing all the time. I am one of those introverted types who is happily retired from a job that was extremely high-stress and time-sensitive. The last thing I want is to take on new responsibilities and live on a schedule again. I love being able to come and go as I please, lose myself in a book, take a nap in the middle of the day or do nothing at all if that's what I feel like.

But the OP sees himself as a "worker bee" and is clearly unhappy with not having a structured life with activities that make him feel that his life has meaning. What worked for me won't work for him. I hope that he finds a class to take, a new hobby, fulfilling volunteer work or a young person to mentor. The joy of being retired is that no one can tell you what the "right" way to do it is, you get to decide for yourself. OP just needs a little guidance to discover what works for him.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-02-2014, 08:23 AM
 
29,774 posts, read 34,856,103 times
Reputation: 11687
Due to circumstance the OP is trying to build his retirement life plane in flight. With time and his decision making skills it will be designed. We all have personal experiences about ourselves. Making suggestions from our experiences is probably most helpful. Not so sure about value judgements on others.

Last edited by TuborgP; 05-02-2014 at 09:00 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-02-2014, 11:07 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,856 posts, read 14,356,798 times
Reputation: 30717
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hefe View Post
Thanks for all the thoughtful comments, much appreciated. I think this poster really nailed where I am right now:



I didn't expect I would react to this with so much annui, but I hardly had time to think before I went from 60 to 5 mph. I think the idea of structure is the key perhaps to stop drifting, as much as I hate to acknowledge this

I think travel will come in the future. I had actually thought I would move overseas for the longest time & that is still a possibility, but I have a parent who is old & I feel I should hang around a bit longer. It is the first steps in some positive direction that I need to take. I like that idea of setting my own very specific schedule, perhaps that would be a transition phase from following a previously assigned work schedule.
Setting a schedule is important for retirees, IMO. I decided that we would get up at 7 am, and that is what we do. We go to the gym twice a week. We attend church on Sundays and we pick up a grandchild one day a week. So we know what our obligations are.

I suggest getting up at the same time every morning. I suggest going for exercise at least twice a week. Or, walking the dog daily. (You might want to get a dog now.) Find things to hang your week around. Then, find another activity that you enjoy, like a volunteer job, or taking a class, or joining a photography group.

That other thing is what hangs me up right now. I used to volunteer, but in my new city I haven't really found a volunteer job I want to do. Or a class to take.

At any rate, I think it helps to have a schedule. Treat yourself occasionally too.

Happy retirement.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-03-2014, 07:05 AM
 
Location: New Mexico U.S.A.
25,318 posts, read 41,403,916 times
Reputation: 29404
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
I suggest getting up at the same time every morning.
I have learned this so many times over the years. It should be obvious, but it isn't. Watching the sunrise has always had a good effect on me and the family.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-03-2014, 03:50 PM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
1,091 posts, read 1,216,727 times
Reputation: 1765
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmyhoss View Post
What's that got to do with anything?
I believe he's using the old.......distracting factor technique.

Example:
Q. What's green and slides slowly down the wall?
A. A thrown plate of spaghetti.

Green is the distracting factor.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-03-2014, 05:10 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,856 posts, read 14,356,798 times
Reputation: 30717
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poncho_NM View Post
I have learned this so many times over the years. It should be obvious, but it isn't. Watching the sunrise has always had a good effect on me and the family.
I feel that it is best to have at least one set thing in the schedule every day. And when I have to get up earlier, I hate it!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top