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Old 05-02-2014, 06:42 AM
 
Location: Whereever we have our RV parked
8,763 posts, read 7,695,901 times
Reputation: 14995

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If you're mature people it can work out fine. My brother retired as a cop at 55, but the wife kept working. He would go to FL. in the winter for a month. He did more of the home chores, but still went a little crazy and got bored at times. IMHO, it can make life a lot easier. Sometimes with two jobs, if the hours aren't the same or vacation benefits similar, it can mean very little time together or time to take a trip. With one working and one home, the conflict is gone, so now you have more time together and an easier time scheduling vacations. It might even be an advantage. All of a sudden, being together 24/7 could drive some couples crazy. Too much of a good thing?
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Old 05-02-2014, 10:27 AM
 
Location: Deep In The Heart of Texas
1,605 posts, read 1,270,557 times
Reputation: 3026
Quote:
Originally Posted by MagnoliaThunder View Post
This is just about as offensive a post as I've seen recently. And "Their [sic] like puppies" ?????
Here I was feeling all warm and fuzzy from another thread I posted, just beginning to believe that with age men really DO grow up and become partner material...

If your wife is 28 years your junior, and you expect the above from her, and think of her as a trainable dog, then I'm thinking you must have some big bucks.
The thought that came to mind was: Why doesn't he have dinner waiting for her since she worked all day.
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Old 05-02-2014, 10:50 AM
 
48,516 posts, read 83,901,398 times
Reputation: 18049
Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuitmom View Post
I'm older than dh and retired 18 months before he did. I was less worried about being solo retired than eventually adjusting to having him around all day when I'd been used to having the house and my schedule to myself. Turned out neither of us had problems adjusting to my earlier retirement or to his joining me.

I took several trips while he was still working, the longest was 10 days. Since he's retired, he's taken a couple of similar trips without me. It's all good for us and Skype and FaceTime are great. Truth be told I wouldn't mind having a month or so to myself, should he decide to be go away that long.
That is pretty much it. No one can change or know what the OP's relationship has lead her to believe from her married life. If you don't know by now as the song says. Hopefully this is just a reflection of unjustified envy based on husbands retiring soon in her thinking that will pass.
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Old 05-02-2014, 11:45 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,655,251 times
Reputation: 35449
Quote:
Originally Posted by spencgr View Post
Agreed, no one knows exactly the thought process, but reading his other posts, this was not a facetious post. I understand him to truly believe what he posts.
I agree. I think it's one of those situations where someone thought they were funny but instead came off looking like a total idiot. One can only pity this type of person. They are forever embarrassing themselves but don't have the good sense to how foolish they appear to others.

Anyway, back on topic, my mom retired before my dad and they were fine with that. When my dad retired and they had to share their space 24/7 they got on each other's nerves so badly they both began arguing over the prettiest things and each would call my sisters and me declaring they were going to get a divorce after decades of marriage.

They finally reached a compromise by having different activities outside the home at varying times so that they weren't always home alone with one another. They adjusted very well after that and finally learned to share their living space and their lives.
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Old 05-02-2014, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
2 posts, read 1,850 times
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Thanks everyone for the feedback; you've given me some things to think about. Retiring with my husband is not an option financially yet, but maybe I could look into going part-time. I could still keep my medical insurance that way. The feedback from a couple of you about sudden health changes impacting your retirement years certainly hit home. We too have Alzheimer's to worry about as it runs in my family and my husband and I have both had skin cancer. So I need to focus on making our later years quality time. We really are each other's best friend and I hope we get some good years to enjoy kicking back.
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Old 05-02-2014, 02:55 PM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, originally from SF Bay Area
29,762 posts, read 54,408,375 times
Reputation: 31058
I was just talking to a financial person about this subject. I really like my job and make good pay with benefits. My wife is a year younger but has a more physical and less lucrative job. She will get a small pension, but at 62 if she retires (next year) and starts SS apparently I can also get a spousal benefit from hers. Then when I retire a few years later I can cancel my spousal from hers, take mine, and give her spousal from mine which is higher.

As for the being home part, since she works at a school she is home all summer now anyway, it would just be like it were summer all the time, and we could take vacations any time of the year. Now it's hard for her to get away during the school year, if we want to go to Hawaii in the winter or take a week away in the spring.
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Old 05-02-2014, 04:17 PM
 
Location: California
4,552 posts, read 5,467,791 times
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If you are talking about the SS File and Suspend, be careful as it just might go away in the near future.

I lost my Dad when I was four and have always put time with my DH above money as it can't replace what I lost too early.

All things that count, can be counted.
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Old 05-02-2014, 05:03 PM
 
10,812 posts, read 8,058,272 times
Reputation: 17010
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hemlock140 View Post
I was just talking to a financial person about this subject. I really like my job and make good pay with benefits. My wife is a year younger but has a more physical and less lucrative job. She will get a small pension, but at 62 if she retires (next year) and starts SS apparently I can also get a spousal benefit from hers. Then when I retire a few years later I can cancel my spousal from hers, take mine, and give her spousal from mine which is higher.
Be careful.
If you are under your FRA, you can't decide whether to take spousal or your own benefit. SS will determine which benefit is higher and give you that.

from Benefits for Spouses
Quote:
If a spouse is eligible for a retirement benefit based on his or her own earnings, and if that benefit is higher than the spousal benefit, then we pay the retirement benefit. Otherwise we pay the spousal benefit.
Once you reach FRA, you have the option to decide whether you want to file for spousal or your own.

from Retirement Planner: Benefits For You As A Spouse
Quote:
If you have reached full retirement age, and you are:

eligible for a spouse's benefit and your own retirement benefit, you may choose to receive only spouse's benefits.
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Old 05-02-2014, 10:53 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,845 posts, read 14,356,798 times
Reputation: 30697
Quote:
Originally Posted by alpineprince View Post
I am in the same position (wife is 28 years younger) and this is what I recommend!
1. Don't turn on the lights in the bedroom when getting ready for work.
2. Squeeze fresh orange juice or make a fruit salad every morning except weekends.
3. FRESH COFFEE PLEASE!
4. Don't call 10 times a day to see how I am doing.
5. Never come home in the afternoon without warning.
6. Tell him every day "seeing him happy, makes you happy".
7. When you get home and are making dinner, do not bore him with "work problems".
8. When packing his bags for Florida, be sure to pack extra sunblock.
Good luck, I've had two wives so far in retirement and have learned their like puppies, you must train them early!
Hey wait! Wife works and makes you orange juice, and makes you dinner, and is forbidden to talk about her work? Something is fishy here.
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Old 05-03-2014, 03:56 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,545 posts, read 39,924,861 times
Reputation: 23658
Quote:
Originally Posted by augiedogie View Post
If you're mature people it can work out fine. ... It might even be an advantage. All of a sudden, being together 24/7 could drive some couples crazy. Too much of a good thing?
Since we were single income... when one retired... the other had to get a PT job to accumulate their 24 SS credits .

Thank goodness in our 35 yrs together (today) we have been confident to do what works best for each other, and to be flexible (and not selfish). This will help when the first one passes away (soon likely). Parents on both sides had longevity issues. We have spent the better part of 6 months / yr apart several yrs; off and on due to work / school / eldercare / volunteering, international living...We make every effort to join up in fun locations and have a blast together as well as keep in touch frequently while apart. We maintain great relationships with our superb 'retired' neighbors (who are a big help with farm type issues that arise when we are gone, or apart).

One of us likes traveling by camping, the other prefers guest homes, so... a class C camper van works great for both of us and both types of lodging. We fly/drive together and separately many times / yr, sometimes 4x / month.

Each are comfortable traveling solo, with siblings, friends, and hosting elderly who can no longer drive themselves on vacation. This works best solo. We 'trade-off' or fly to a meeting point and relieve each other.


When the opportunity comes up for PT or Temp jobs that are fun and educational, we will each jump at the opportunity, knowing we have full support from each other.

Like early retired Younglisa, we do extensive projects (flipping / repairing rural homes) together and have a blast.

So,,, just as in our pre-retired life ...(12 week 'home schoo'l vacations, international living and elder care).

We work ward and play hard.

Retire early, Retire Often! (and enjoy the few precious moments together). Don't wear on each others nerves... be creative and fun! (and adventurous).

Maybe retirement should equal... giving up our 'contentious' self! No reason to be a jerk anymore, since your ladder climbing days are over. - Just think how that attitude would change your typical HOA or volunteer organization 'over achiever' (and their spouse would surely thank you)
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