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Old 05-15-2014, 10:08 AM
 
Location: SoCal
6,068 posts, read 9,529,219 times
Reputation: 5805

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Robyn55 View Post
MOWs here in my metro area is apparently totally non-need based for people 60+ - and therefore totally stupid IMO.

United Way 2-1-1 of Northeast Florida.

You want to pay for stuff like this for people on a non-need basis - be my guest. I don't care to.

Robyn
The side benefit of MOWs for older persons - needy or not - is that someone checks up on an older person each day.
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Old 05-15-2014, 03:32 PM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,929,938 times
Reputation: 6716
Quote:
Originally Posted by oddstray View Post
The side benefit of MOWs for older persons - needy or not - is that someone checks up on an older person each day.
There are more efficient ways to do that than by delivering food. And - if the goal is to keep in touch with "alone" seniors and see how they're doing - make sure they're doing ok - well it's more important to reach every possible senior in that situation in an efficient way than to reach only some in inefficient ways. We live in a world and in communities with limited resources. So first things first. Robyn
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Old 05-15-2014, 03:54 PM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,929,938 times
Reputation: 6716
Quote:
Originally Posted by theatergypsy View Post
Hold on there. Before you get your knickers in a knot, you might want to re-read my post and see if you can find where it says my family took care of me. Truth be told, I took care of them. And no, I don't expect anyone in your family to spend $$$ to take care of me. After you re-read my post, perhaps you could go back and re-read the OP, which states that volunteers were taking care of people. Volunteers doesn't usually require $$$ outlay. Volunteers implies that the people doing the work were willing participants.

I wasn't suggesting the world should take care of old people. I was trying to point out that there was a lot of judgment being heaped on the elderly lady driving a Cadillac, and the fact that her car was neither an indicator of "wealth" nor did it make her unworthy of help.

As far as not being Christian, it's simply an expression and has nothing to do with your belief. Sorry you took offense.

FTR: I paid a man $110.00 yesterday to fix a small crack in the foundation of my house. I paid him with my money. He was here for all of 25 minutes. I didn't ask him his religion.
Guess I'm confusing everyone here with my father (bad week on that front). Who thinks everyone in the US owes him and all other really old seniors a living - and the VA owes him a pair of $5k hearing aids as well (when the VA didn't buy them for him - he bought them himself - and could easily afford them).

As for the Christian stuff - I think it's one thing for my housekeeper - who is a very devout Christian I've employed for over a decade - to tell me to have a blessed day and to say she'll pray for me/family if someone is sick (and I reciprocate to her in my own way - when - like now - her husband is being treated for cancer). Quite another to enter another gated community here and to get the same patter from a security guard at the gate who doesn't know me from a hole in the ground. I think of religion as being a private thing that is very family and friend oriented. Not a matter for general public consumption/display.

I hope the guy fixed the crack in your foundation and that there's nothing serious going on there. FWIW - there's the old story about the lawyer. Client comes in with a problem - and the lawyer takes 15 minutes to handle it. And then charges the client $500. And the client says - you only took 15 minutes to deal with this - how can you charge me $500!!?? And the lawyer responds - it took me 20 years to figure out how to do in 15 minutes. I feel the same about the people who have worked in/around my house over the years. Robyn
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Old 05-15-2014, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,929,938 times
Reputation: 6716
You know - one thing no one has mentioned here to date is investment returns - especially those based on fixed income investments. The senior who was depending on 4-6% short term CD returns to make ends meet hasn't seen those returns in years. And won't see them for a very long time in the future - if ever - IMO. About the best to be had today is 3.4% on a 10 year brokered CD - but most seniors aren't into longer term brokered CDs. The good yields on munis that were available fairly recently have all but evaporated. And I don't think one one can rely on equity market returns to "pay the rent". I'm not a big fan of annuities - but perhaps some might work for some seniors now.

IOW - if a senior is hanging on by his/her fingernails to a life style that isn't supported by current fixed income returns - it's probably time to move on IMO. Robyn

Last edited by Robyn55; 05-15-2014 at 04:31 PM..
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Old 05-15-2014, 04:12 PM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,929,938 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold View Post
That's all well and good for you Travelassie , but unless this new company that sent out solicitations ( and haven't heard from them since) those of us in older ....maybe all...mobiles, have no other choice.
Funny though, when the roof needed to be 'certified' I hired an independent inspector. He wasn't affiliated with Citizens.
At some point - isn't the cost of insuring an older home mobile home not worth it? Especially if the insurance = actual cash value (usually peanuts) as opposed to replacement cost? Robyn
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Old 05-15-2014, 04:19 PM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,929,938 times
Reputation: 6716
Quote:
Originally Posted by creepy View Post
I agree with you.

Here is a related story-I agree that if not only you but your kids are doing well you don't need special treatment in fact I think it's abusive to the the system if you do it.

In fact someone suggested I get Meals on Wheels for my parents. This someone got it for their parents. Now this family the elderly couple had 4 children, all are Professionals, one a Doctor. I was sort if in shock when they suggested it because my parents are probably less well off than theirs but they felt ok getting Meals on Wheels for them. I do not feel my parents are in that boat. I can cook for them sometimes, make extra food every week or two. Make an extra banana bread, etc.

I wonder if the kids of that other family were not all right in their heads with helping their own. If you are a Doctor you can't make sure your parent has enough to eat?

My father can still use a microwave. My mother is no longer capable of anything but she can eat the TV dinner he makes or food I bring.

Now that my father has had extra setbacks(my brother died) I did want to look into a lawn mowing service for him since he has balance issues, but I would go by their financial need guidelines.

He did and we did not automatically assume anything based on just age. I think we have always been very independent people. If we need help-we will ask but if we don't-we will not.
IMO - your parents need more than a lawn mowing service if your father can only use a microwave and your mother can't do any food preparation. It's not an age thing (my father is 95 and can still prepare simple meals for himself - but there are people in their 60's who can't do what he does). Looks like it's time for you to get more involved in your parents' personal living situation. Robyn
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Old 05-15-2014, 07:14 PM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,433 posts, read 1,668,181 times
Reputation: 8687
Quote:
Looks like it's time for you to get more involved in your parents' personal living situation.
So sensible and so easy to say.

I have a similar situation with my parents, they are a very private and independent couple and there will be no involvement until they want it. The closest sibling lives two hours away and the three of us compare notes to figure out what is going on at times. I don't need puzzles to keep my mind sharp, I have my folks.

I call weekly to my parents and Mom hasn't sounded like herself lately. I get out of her that she had some follow up tests. Follow up to what? I get the old let's talk about the weather run around. I came right out this week and asked if something was wrong and she totally blew me off. There's the problem, until they are ready to tell, they aren't going to say a thing.

Dad had lung cancer 20 years ago. When I would call I just felt something was not right. This was in November and the day after New Years I get a call from Mom that Dad is having surgery that day. They didn't want to ruin anyone's holiday or to have anyone take off from work to fly out or drive to help them. I don't think it registered with them as being wrong or at least insensitive to leave us out, it was their business, not ours.

This is the way it will be until they say otherwise or one loses the other; together they are impenetrable. It's frustrating but it's their life.

Dad will continue to do the yard work. I don't think it would occur to him to ask for help.

Last edited by jean_ji; 05-15-2014 at 07:52 PM..
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Old 05-15-2014, 08:19 PM
 
Location: Location: Location
6,350 posts, read 7,828,270 times
Reputation: 18574
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robyn55 View Post
Guess I'm confusing everyone here with my father (bad week on that front). Who thinks everyone in the US owes him and all other really old seniors a living - and the VA owes him a pair of $5k hearing aids as well (when the VA didn't buy them for him - he bought them himself - and could easily afford them).

As for the Christian stuff - I think it's one thing for my housekeeper - who is a very devout Christian I've employed for over a decade - to tell me to have a blessed day and to say she'll pray for me/family if someone is sick (and I reciprocate to her in my own way - when - like now - her husband is being treated for cancer). Quite another to enter another gated community here and to get the same patter from a security guard at the gate who doesn't know me from a hole in the ground. I think of religion as being a private thing that is very family and friend oriented. Not a matter for general public consumption/display.

I hope the guy fixed the crack in your foundation and that there's nothing serious going on there. FWIW - there's the old story about the lawyer. Client comes in with a problem - and the lawyer takes 15 minutes to handle it. And then charges the client $500. And the client says - you only took 15 minutes to deal with this - how can you charge me $500!!?? And the lawyer responds - it took me 20 years to figure out how to do in 15 minutes. I feel the same about the people who have worked in/around my house over the years. Robyn
For some reason, I'm getting an undercurrent in your post that you think I was complaining about paying someone $110.00 for repairing a crack in my home's foundation. The man had the expertise to handle it and my point was NOT that I resented paying him for his work, but that I wasn't EXPECTING anyone to volunteer their services. This thread seems to be taking a strange turn. Or maybe I shouldn't have had that last glass of wine with dinner.
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Old 05-15-2014, 08:34 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,737,509 times
Reputation: 32304
Quote:
Originally Posted by jean_ji View Post
So sensible and so easy to say.

I have a similar situation with my parents, they are a very private and independent couple and there will be no involvement until they want it. The closest sibling lives two hours away and the three of us compare notes to figure out what is going on at times. I don't need puzzles to keep my mind sharp, I have my folks.

I call weekly to my parents and Mom hasn't sounded like herself lately. I get out of her that she had some follow up tests. Follow up to what? I get the old let's talk about the weather run around. I came right out this week and asked if something was wrong and she totally blew me off. There's the problem, until they are ready to tell, they aren't going to say a thing.

Dad had lung cancer 20 years ago. When I would call I just felt something was not right. This was in November and the day after New Years I get a call from Mom that Dad is having surgery that day. They didn't want to ruin anyone's holiday or to have anyone take off from work to fly out or drive to help them. I don't think it registered with them as being wrong or at least insensitive to leave us out, it was their business, not ours.

This is the way it will be until they say otherwise or one loses the other; together they are impenetrable. It's frustrating but it's their life.

Dad will continue to do the yard work. I don't think it would occur to him to ask for help.
I hear 'ya. And I got a chuckle out of the sentence I bolded! Indeed, there is not much you and your siblings can do. And someday it's possible that some neighbor or church acquaintance is going to blame you and your siblings for not caring or for "refusing" to help your parents when things finally hit the fan, not realizing that you had no way to be informed about things.

"Frustrating" is certainly the right word.
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Old 05-16-2014, 05:52 AM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,929,938 times
Reputation: 6716
Quote:
Originally Posted by theatergypsy View Post
For some reason, I'm getting an undercurrent in your post that you think I was complaining about paying someone $110.00 for repairing a crack in my home's foundation. The man had the expertise to handle it and my point was NOT that I resented paying him for his work, but that I wasn't EXPECTING anyone to volunteer their services. This thread seems to be taking a strange turn. Or maybe I shouldn't have had that last glass of wine with dinner.
No undercurrent. I was just expressing concern. Foundation issues can be no big deal. Or spell trouble and big $$$. BTW - one reason this thread interests me is this is our second year into completing a laundry list of minor/medium home repairs/improvements/redecorating projects. Almost done. Today the gutter guys are coming - and then I only have one more thing on the list (new kitchen floor). This work doesn't only take money - it takes time and a degree of organization.

I can understand why some people (not only older people) don't have the money - time or energy. But owning a house is a major commitment that requires doses of all these things from time to time. When my husband and I didn't have the time or energy - when we were working - we lived in high rise condos. And - based on what I've read - a lot of people - both young and old - are going back to rentals these days. Robyn
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