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Old 05-12-2014, 04:26 AM
 
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Though I have read stories of people 90+ who are still going strong, everyone I personally know in that age group needs a great deal of assistance with activities of daily living and most are out of it, talking to the people who are around them like they are long gone friends and relatives, wandering away from home, etc.

It's sad to see these shells of their former self shuffling through life.

What is the point of being alive if you don't know what's going on?
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Old 05-12-2014, 09:35 AM
 
Location: NC
720 posts, read 1,485,508 times
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I would rather be dead than a living mindless vegetable. But the OP simply stated an aversion to living past 90, period. My post simply stated that some can still live fullfilling active lives at that point. Heck, my Mom (88) just got herself an ipad, is on Facebook and is in contact with her kids and grandkids. My uncle's (92) son lives nearby and uncle is glad to be alive, despite near blindness. In fact, he's waiting to have a new type of surgery to increase his vision.
So, I guess my point is, looking at my family and their living situations, 90 doesn't seem so bad.
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Old 05-12-2014, 09:48 AM
 
38,192 posts, read 14,924,927 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by poodlecamper View Post
I would rather be dead than a living mindless vegetable. But the OP simply stated an aversion to living past 90, period. My post simply stated that some can still live fullfilling active lives at that point. Heck, my Mom (88) just got herself an ipad, is on Facebook and is in contact with her kids and grandkids. My uncle's (92) son lives nearby and uncle is glad to be alive, despite near blindness. In fact, he's waiting to have a new type of surgery to increase his vision.
So, I guess my point is, looking at my family and their living situations, 90 doesn't seem so bad.
Wow. Sounds like there's some good genes in your family.

My elderly relatives hardly know which end is up by their mid 80's. By 90, they are needing assistance with "toileting" (as we call it), med management, meals, dressing... I'm not sure what is so fulfilling about sitting around waiting for Funniest Home Video reruns and/or the grim reaper.

I have not met anyone over 90 who is living the kind of life I want to live. A neighbor of ours came closest. She lived in her own home, gardened, cooked, read novels...But she passed away just short of her 90th birthday now that I think of it and even then she needed a fair amount of assistance to stay in her own home.

No way would I want to be shuffling up and down the hall of the assisted living places I've toured, being called honey by a rotating group of CNAs, Spare me.
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Old 05-12-2014, 11:44 AM
 
Location: Haiku
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Of course this is all academic anyway since very few of us have a say as to when we will die. Yes, suicide is an option but society and families do their utmost to remove that option, even if you are absolutely miserable wasting away in some nursing home. They will pump you full of Xanax or some drug to prop you up and think they are doing a good thing for you. Maybe, maybe not. In any event, I cannot see a scenario in which our society ever condones or supports people taking an early departure, so to speak. So looks like we all just have to tough it out.
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Old 05-12-2014, 09:59 PM
 
Location: At the Lake (in Texas)
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Originally Posted by katie45 View Post

Both still have very positive attitudes and don't really think that much about their age.
I think you hit on a very important key. Also, I am 62 but I feel like there is at least another 40 years of stuff I want to do and experience! I have started keeping a list of "firsts". At this age there is so much we have already seen and done, so any time I experience any kind of a first, no matter how small, I note it. For example, I saw a video of some cows that were rescued from the slaughter house -- they had been milked and milked and bred and bred, and when they were finally set free to graze on a beautiful open pasture, they literally jumped and "danced" like children set free for recess! Never in my life had I ever seen anything like it ... a "first"!

I saw another video of a bunch of ducks that had been kept by a hoarder in a dirt pen, and they had never seen a body or water, let along swim. They were rescued and released into a larger group of ducks and headed down to the river with them. At first, the new ducks ran back the other way in mass because they didn't know what the river was. Then someone took one at a time and put them gently into the water...soon they were all running and jumping into the water and playing like children on a hot summer day! Another "first"...

It doesn't have to be anything dramatic or huge, just something new to see. I want to live life the best I can and forget about my age as much as possible. Beatrice Wood was asked, at the age of 98, to what she attributed her longevity. She hardly hesitated, smiled, and said "Chocolates and younger men." I LOVE that! And by the way she died at, I believe, the age of 105 (or somewhere in that range) and I think I read she had just written her first book, a book of erotica for women!

I hope I can keep this attitude as I age ... I am trying to get healthier and lose some weight and want to start working with weights because I want to be as strong as possible to be able to enjoy all the many things I want to try, or learn, or return to in my retirement. God willing.
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Old 05-13-2014, 02:15 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,740,386 times
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Originally Posted by MagnoliaThunder View Post
I hope I can keep this attitude as I age ... I am trying to get healthier and lose some weight and want to start working with weights because I want to be as strong as possible to be able to enjoy all the many things I want to try, or learn, or return to in my retirement. God willing.
Good for you about the weights, which are so important and beneficial once we hit 50 or 60 (although it's never too late to start). I have enjoyed the group classes at the gym which use hand-held weights. Start small and build up gradually.

Just a few days ago a male friend, age 79, was complaining to me that his doctor refused to give him steroids. He had requested them because of losing so much muscle strength, which is pretty much inevitable at his age. I told him doing weights would slow down that loss and help him regain part of it. But he wasn't interested; he wanted pills.
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Old 05-13-2014, 08:13 AM
GLS
 
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Originally Posted by biscuitmom View Post
Nothing remotely painful about it, I cherish their lives, don't dwell on their demise. We enjoy life and are entirely comfortable with the idea of death. Don't need to live post-90 to realize that. It's all good, not sure where you're going with this post, sorry to be dense.
I was expressing my disagreement with the poster's implication that "burying friends and family" removes any desire to continue living. Sorry if my logic was unclear. My communication is often prone to circumlocution.
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Old 05-13-2014, 05:54 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,978,143 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GotHereQuickAsICould View Post
Though I have read stories of people 90+ who are still going strong, everyone I personally know in that age group needs a great deal of assistance with activities of daily living and most are out of it, talking to the people who are around them like they are long gone friends and relatives, wandering away from home, etc.

It's sad to see these shells of their former self shuffling through life.

What is the point of being alive if you don't know what's going on?
The folks I personally know who made it to 90 and beyond (about 9 or 10) are/were intellectual, socially aware and involved, and passionate about things like the arts. None of these folks are/were into exercise, exotic health diets, and none devoutly religious. None went into mental decline of any kind. Now I know boomers (and some younger) who are not in as good shape (despite diet and exercise) as these elders were/are and are struggling a lot with chronic illness and joint problems, etc. I somehow doubt some of these are going to make it to the 90 mark.
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Old 05-13-2014, 06:15 PM
 
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I don't think the actual number has anything to do with it. Question is, how healthy are you?
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Old 05-13-2014, 07:07 PM
 
Location: Sacramento
13,784 posts, read 23,811,113 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
The folks I personally know who made it to 90 and beyond (about 9 or 10) are/were intellectual, socially aware and involved, and passionate about things like the arts. None of these folks are/were into exercise, exotic health diets, and none devoutly religious. None went into mental decline of any kind. Now I know boomers (and some younger) who are not in as good shape (despite diet and exercise) as these elders were/are and are struggling a lot with chronic illness and joint problems, etc. I somehow doubt some of these are going to make it to the 90 mark.
The main article itself focused on the fact that getting 45 minutes of exercise and/or activity a day seemed to be a critical factor in determining who had a chance to make it to 90. I also thought it was interesting that they weren't into the fad diets either, with some eating doughnuts and having a few beers all through their lives.
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