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Old 05-11-2014, 05:23 PM
318 posts, read 643,870 times
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I'm not too worried about having enough money to retire on, and I have been working on keeping healthy through healthy food and exercise. What I do worry about is becoming physically and/or mentally incapacitated and not having anyone who will be there to help me or act in my best interests.

I am not married and I have no children or close family. I have friends, but some are older than me and may not be any better off than I am when I get older. Are there agencies or attorneys who can help the elderly and act in their best interests, and possibly even manage money without the person being in danger of being ripped off?
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Old 05-11-2014, 05:46 PM
5,399 posts, read 6,547,428 times
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Have had that thought myself.

My work around is to plan ahead. get a youngish lawyer and use his/her resources and think through recommendations for legal, financial, medical matters. Then get it in writing, signed and available as appropriate. At least that is how I look at it.

Eventually I expect to move to an age in place home. May get one of the new versions of 'I have fallen and can't get up'. And hope to plan ahead for each stage so that it is my choice as long as that can be done.

Any other ideas, I would also be glad to hear them.

Good luck OP. You will figure it out.

P.S. let me add pets. I lost my companion dog of 18 years a year ago and and really on the fence about getting another dog of any age. While I think or hope for a long life, I would hate to leave one behind so I would add that in my planning if I got a new canine friend.
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Old 05-11-2014, 07:11 PM
Location: Columbia SC
9,002 posts, read 7,766,040 times
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There are lawyers that have been certified as elder care lawyers. I have no idea how one does such nor how to find them but they do exist. Google it. Also many locales have elder services which might be a good place to start looking. On 2nd thought, start with elder care services as I do not trust lawyers that much unless they come highly recommended.

In response to another post. I can understand the concern of leaving a pet but there are animal guardian programs where ones care/love for animals can be put to good use. Check them out. Also pet shelters volunteer programs allows one to use that love in helping animals.
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Old 05-11-2014, 07:39 PM
48,516 posts, read 84,010,700 times
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I'd also get one of those monitoring devices you wear around your neck for emergencies. Push the button and they come on the line and you tell them what's the problem. If they don't get a answer they send emergency personell.
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Old 05-11-2014, 09:19 PM
Location: Haiku
4,181 posts, read 2,599,410 times
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You are asking about your personal safety. There are answers to all your questions, but you really should be looking within your community where you live, not here. Every county or city has government agencies to assist older folks. Reach out to them.

One other thing: "Poopycat" ? I won't ask, so never mind.
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Old 05-11-2014, 10:41 PM
10,819 posts, read 8,077,208 times
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This article has a few good tips: For Childless Older People, Legal and Logistical Challenges

I have a spouse, children, and extended family so don't have your problem. But DH & I want to spare our heirs the headaches we've experienced in handling our parents' and grandparents' estates, so we've worked with a local trust and estate management firm. If we both become incapacitated, they'll basically take over and handle our financial affairs. Our sons are still our trust beneficiaries but the firm will handle and disburse funds according to our instructions. (fwiw, our sons, who live cross-country from us, are happy with this plan.) If we didn't have heirs, the firm would disburse the funds as needed to ensure our care. This firm has a long (since 1867) history, an impeccable reputation throughout this part of the state, and we know people who have dealt with them going back decades.
They are known as bulldogs when it comes to protecting their clients' financial interests. They don't handle or recommend investments, they work only on the disbursement side and they monitor every penny spent upon support/care for their diminished capacity clients. When you don't have that quality of professional help readily available, it's scary to be out looking for paid people to trust to take over your affairs down the road. Might be worth it though, to start asking around and researching now.

If I were on my own, I'd also be looking into CCRCs or Continuing Care Retirement Communities. These provide a continuum of care, starting with 55+ independent living, then transitioning into Assisted Living care and onto skilled nursing and/or hospice, all under one umbrella and usually at one location. There's a rigorous certification process to receive the CCRC designation, and many are run by church denominations or other non-profit organizations (that doesn't mean they're cheap, though, they're often pricey). Once you move into one, you're guaranteed services at whatever level you need and they'll transition you from say, independent living to Assisted Living and back again, as your physical/mental needs require.

CCRC's aren't available everywhere, the website has a locater function. There's one about an hour away from us and we have friends whose parents are there, they have only good things to say about it. Almost all CCRCs have a long waiting list so it's best to check into them well before anticipating need. Many require a substantial but refundable deposit.

Last edited by biscuitmom; 05-11-2014 at 10:51 PM..
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Old 05-12-2014, 08:36 AM
1,774 posts, read 2,447,142 times
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This subject definitely pertains to me. I live alone in the country in a large house on a couple of acres with my dogs. Most of my friends have died, moved away, and now the only friends I have are an old couple who are planning to move. I actually have no one to call in an emergency, drive me to an operation, etc. I have found it near impossible to make new friends and am becoming concerned about my situation. If I am injured on my property, my dogs would starve and no one would miss me for about a week or so. But I do not wish to change my circumstances. The best I can come up with is hiring someone to email daily to see if I am still alive !
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Old 05-12-2014, 09:01 AM
3,438 posts, read 4,738,818 times
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......." But I do not wish to change my circumstances"...

There lies the problem
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Old 05-12-2014, 09:10 AM
Location: Tennessee
34,706 posts, read 33,724,405 times
Reputation: 51960
I have to get into the habit of having my cell phone with me at all times even in my apartment. I have a tendency to put it down when I walk in the door. My "in Case of An Emergency" phone number programmed into my phone is a sister in a far away state. A lot good that would do me if police or ems people picked up my phone to look for that info.
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Old 05-12-2014, 09:21 AM
Location: Florida -
8,767 posts, read 10,862,335 times
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While ministering in an ALF, I became friends with a lady in a similar circumstance. (she only had a niece and a nephew and she believed they were only interested in her money--- which, sadly, proved to be true). As she prepared to move back to her own home, she asked if I would serve as her surrogate health care representative. That seemed 'manageable' and she had no one else, so I agreed.

Over the next several years, I got increasingly involved in managing her home healthcare services and watching over almost all of her personal affairs. (A Christian Attorney friend of mine managed her financial affairs; for a fee). My (unpaid) oversight role gradually grew much larger than I anticipated or had time for. After about 5-years, she went back to an ALF and then a nursing home, where we had an eldercare representative take-over most of the day-to-day responsibility on a fee basis. (We even had them pay some young mothers to come-by and visit monthly (with their children). The latter worked-out very well and relieved much of the responsibility I had assumed.

My point is that this type of 'oversight' can quickly become a BIG job; and if I was asked to do it again, I would decline and would help direct the person to an good eldercare representative who deals with this type of situation all the time. There are wonderful people out there who do this on a regular basis and you can arrange for whatever services seem necessary at a very reasonable cost. -- Hope this helps - Good luck.

Last edited by jghorton; 05-12-2014 at 09:37 AM..
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