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After 44 years of marriage, how do we split up with not a lot of money ?? About 2800.00 a month for us to live on. I'm staying put. My rent is low and my house is nice. Has anyone been in this situation ?
Each take your own income and then split the assets. And perhaps get counseling first, as it seems like for you and for many others of us that splitting up a marriage is not a happy or secure prospect.
If you each draw a SS check of $1400, nothing will change. If $2800 is the total of your SS checks, then after the divorce, you will each draw your own check until your husband dies (assuming your husband dies before you) when you will be eligible for widow's benefits.
If your $2800 income comes from sources other than SS, that income will be divided according to your divorce decree.
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I know you have hit your limit, and that is typical for a certain gender to go off the cliff of no return, due to delaying response till too late. (Often for good reason... saving their life). But ALL is not lost.
Why divorce? just get your space if that is what is necessary. But protect your assets as necessary to survive. (depending on the state, that may require divorce, but he doesn't seem like a lost cause... just a serious disruption) I had one of those for 32 yrs (Caregiving for a violent but disabled parent). This too will pass (or you may pass... I often hoped that for me)
In your other thread, you said the primary problem was that you were just worn-out after being a caregiver for many of your 44-married years together. In this thread, it sounds like you have reached a decision to divorce ... if you can manage to live on $1400 per month. This is too big a decision to make without seriously evaluating your motives and expectations; ... and also spending time with a financial counselor.
I've known people in your situation who, in their 60's, after many years of relatively unhappy marriage, conclude that their marriage isn't going to change over their final 10-20 years,... and that they are running-out of time to start living the life they want to live, instead of the one they feel 'stuck with.' But, like you, they often conclude that neither would be able to afford to live even close to the same standard of living on half the money. That often makes alternative solutions seem more viable (such as seriously modified living arrangements, counseling and a real attitude change).
Sorry you are in this situation, but, it took 44-years to get to this point - and you probably aren't going to come-up with a quick and easy solution to all that needs fixing in your marriage. But, after 44-years, it's probably worth a little more effort to see if any other resolution is possible.
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