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Old 06-04-2014, 04:23 PM
 
Location: WA
5,396 posts, read 21,401,588 times
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In my early 40's I started to question my judgment in that up until that time I was confident that I was right about most things and doing the right things in life. I started second guessing my decisions at work, home, etc.

Went to a psychologist and over six months of regular discussions we came to the conclusion there was nothing wrong with me, I was not perfect in my decisions and dealing with others, but not that far off. I just needed to learn to be more accepting of myself and life.

Afterward I was just as assertive in many areas but more passive in others. I just worried about it less.
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Old 06-04-2014, 05:35 PM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,581,162 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
What/when is midlife?
Whenever you decide it is.
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Old 06-04-2014, 05:37 PM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,581,162 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person View Post
Ongoing.

I think it's mostly realizing that I'm not as good as I once was but I'm as good, once, as I ever was.

Across the spectrum of activities.
Love that song. It is so true
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Old 06-04-2014, 06:16 PM
 
Location: NYC
2,916 posts, read 1,590,302 times
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At 37 I finally got engaged & the next week I good a good job offer 1200 miles away, I felt like things were going to finally come together. She couldn't move at that time but insisted I go & she would head out 3-4 months later when she finished her project. 9 months later she was still getting new projects & I decided I would quit my new job & head back since the relationship was more important to me. 6 months after getting back in the middle of a recession I still couldn't find work, not for lack of trying, & things soured & I moved out. I had a terrible time barely getting any work for the next year & then barely getting by in a new city the following year & a half.

No money to do things, no friends in a new city, occasionally working when it came up, living in what was essentially a boarding house in a dangerous area. I learned the meaning of the word "recession". After I turned 42 I got picked by a good company & even though I wasn't doing what I had wanted to do it was a decent job with good benefits. I had lost all my savings, retirement money, confidence & was $24K in credit card debt & started all over again.

I can't imagine people in this same situation who get sick, thank god I didn't. It took years & years for me to be even interested in a real relationship again.
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Old 06-04-2014, 06:31 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,618 posts, read 9,687,274 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 601halfdozen0theother View Post
I don't think I had a crisis. I just felt very liberated when I hit my late 30s, maybe 40, and realized that I just don't give a s****t anymore what other people think of me. Boy, that feels good and is very freeing!

Maybe that's just finally growing up, though, rather than having a crisis.
I went through the exact same thing at the same age. I think it's just "growing up" though.

My ex went through a midlife crisis when he was about 38. He decided he didn't want to be married anymore and he wanted his "total freedom" to go live in the woods with his dog. He didn't want to worry about a job, paying taxes, keeping track of keys and a wallet and thought money was "unimportant". He tried it for a while but I guess nuts and berries aren't very filling and when the dog got sick he had to go to friends to get money for the vet, etc. etc.. He did, at least, keep his truck but sold the small 5th wheel he should've kept to keep a 'roof over his head'. He's now 55, has a Masters in Computer Engineering and a great job making LOTS of money. I guess money was more important than he thought...
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Old 06-04-2014, 06:49 PM
 
18,360 posts, read 23,537,072 times
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I bought a brothel and get to do the interviewing
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Old 06-04-2014, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,982,141 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman View Post
I bought a brothel and get to do the interviewing
Why would you have to interview?
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Old 06-04-2014, 07:22 PM
 
18,360 posts, read 23,537,072 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
Why would you have to interview?
at the BMW Brothel, we only offer the best service, cant just hire anyone
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Old 06-04-2014, 07:58 PM
 
12,825 posts, read 20,148,018 times
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I had more of a quarter life crisis (22 - 28 years of age). That was when I went wild. Ever since then I've been nose to the grind stone out of necessity. This will continue until I retire / am forcibly retired. I suspect the whole notion of the mid life crises is less and less common. The break point appears to be people born during the early 1960s. For anyone born during or after that, after a typical "mid century" type child hood and perhaps somewhat of a honeymoon period in early adulthood, with all the economic changes and other disruptions, we've never had the space or time to entertain a midlife crisis.
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Old 06-04-2014, 08:37 PM
 
48,516 posts, read 83,955,483 times
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You know I was thinking the question over. I'd say the closest I ever came was when I was thirteen. My father had a talk with me since I was entering junior high and picking courses for first time. He told me in many words that I was entering a phase of education that would be large determining factor in my future. It really made a impression on me and I started cracking the books more. I even found that in short order the people I started associating with at school changed. As close I as came really to a crisis of decision.
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