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Old 06-18-2014, 07:15 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,611 posts, read 9,672,539 times
Reputation: 10948

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gandalara View Post
Hey Brat -

Put the over-ripe veggies & fruits in a compost pile - and then put your brother's girlfriend in there too

And to those that think this thread is drama - No, it isn't. This is normal "Oh heck it's heavy-duty caregiving time." The Brat has her act together and is blowing off steam. More power to her.


No no no no! - cranberry juice and vodka.
Thank you, my dear. I appreciate it. Who knew I had so much "steam"??

I think *I* need the cranberry/vodka! If it didn't give me such a hellacious headache, I would!
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Old 06-18-2014, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,611 posts, read 9,672,539 times
Reputation: 10948
Quote:
Originally Posted by loveautumn View Post
Haven't had time to read this whole thread but about 6 years ago I started falling (I was around 60) and didn't know what was happening, I would just fall (sort of collapse) and eventually fractured my foot. That was how I found out what was wrong...I have very loose ligaments in my foot, they are basically stretched a bit, so when I get on any kind of unflat surface, my foot would roll and down I would go. I have had to wear a foot brace since then but it has worked. I would consider taking her to an orthopedist or podiatrist, just to see what they have to say. It can't hurt...and it might be a simple solution to give her more foot support.
Mom is okay in that department. It hasn't been that long since she had her feet and ankles thoroughly checked out. She doesn't have a problem with foot support. She has a problem with her entire left side just giving way. No problems for a week now though so here's hoping...
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Old 06-18-2014, 07:49 PM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,917,951 times
Reputation: 6716
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caltovegas View Post
This is way to much drama. I don't know if it has been done because I didn't read the whole thread but the OP needs to make sure her mother's Will and POA's are up to date. God forbid and she gets worse which at older ages most health issues don't, the real fighting will begin.

If you are doing all the work than you should be calling the shots. I'm sure there are many others who have had to deal with elder care and its not fun or an easy situation. Which is why people will stay away and let others deal with it. If not done already get the paperwork done and if your not in charge let the designated one's handle everything up to your tolerable limits because once things like a POA come into play you are out of the loop.
Having to deal with really old really cranky ridiculous demand parents who are in various degrees of trouble in various ways is one of the few things a lot of us here - regardless of other individual circumstances - have in common. And getting all the paperwork in order is certainly the least of it. If all the OP and others in this situation here are looking for is an audience in terms of venting - they can do that with me until the cows come home. Some day they will return the favor to me (I wish I had been here a decade ago so I could vent when my mother was dying).

On my part - I am grateful that parents/inlaws have/had money. The absence of money makes dealing with these things exponentially more difficult. Although having money doesn't make everything a piece of cake either. Robyn
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Old 06-18-2014, 09:24 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,954 posts, read 7,387,939 times
Reputation: 16278
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gandalara View Post
Hey Brat -

Put the over-ripe veggies & fruits in a compost pile - and then put your brother's girlfriend in there too

And to those that think this thread is drama - No, it isn't. This is normal "Oh heck it's heavy-duty caregiving time." The Brat has her act together and is blowing off steam. More power to her.


No no no no! - cranberry juice and vodka.
LOL!!!! That would just ruin the entire compost
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Old 06-18-2014, 09:26 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,611 posts, read 9,672,539 times
Reputation: 10948
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robyn55 View Post
Having to deal with really old really cranky ridiculous demand parents who are in various degrees of trouble in various ways is one of the few things a lot of us here - regardless of other individual circumstances - have in common. And getting all the paperwork in order is certainly the least of it. If all the OP and others in this situation here are looking for is an audience in terms of venting - they can do that with me until the cows come home. Some day they will return the favor to me (I wish I had been here a decade ago so I could vent when my mother was dying).

On my part - I am grateful that parents/inlaws have/had money. The absence of money makes dealing with these things exponentially more difficult. Although having money doesn't make everything a piece of cake either. Robyn
Thank you Robyn. I appreciate the support.

If I have one thing to be grateful for it is that my mom is NOT one of those "really old really cranky parents...". She's really been a doll about everything and even actually listening to me when we talk about her "problems". I think she's kind of enjoying the pampering too. Lord knows she's done it enough times for us! And, by the way, I told her about this thread and how helpful and supportive you all have been. She said to tell you "Thank you" and if anyone prays she'd appreciate that too.

I bought her a cute pair of light pajamas today. I hope they fit! Nightgowns ride up so far it's uncomfortable for her and she only had one other pair of pjs. It's time to get her ready for bed so we'll see how they fit!
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Old 06-19-2014, 01:50 PM
 
293 posts, read 437,794 times
Reputation: 1318
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caltovegas View Post
This is way to much drama. I don't know if it has been done because I didn't read the whole thread but the OP needs to make sure her mother's Will and POA's are up to date. God forbid and she gets worse which at older ages most health issues don't, the real fighting will begin.

If you are doing all the work than you should be calling the shots. I'm sure there are many others who have had to deal with elder care and its not fun or an easy situation. Which is why people will stay away and let others deal with it. If not done already get the paperwork done and if your not in charge let the designated one's handle everything up to your tolerable limits because once things like a POA come into play you are out of the loop.
Unfortunately, this is a situation that pretty much ensures a lot of drama. You have to work out difficult, complicated stuff with a cast of characters consisting of people you may barely know or not even get along with at all, in a situation none of you really want to be in to begin with. It brings out the worst in almost everyone, and there's no roadmap, no blueprint for how to work things out fairly and reasonably. We're all trying to deal as best we can while bombarded with other people trying to control the process, second-guess the actors, avoid responsibility, and blame the problems on everyone else. It's no fun. The OP is entitled to vent and I'm always interested in hearing the experiences of a fellow traveler in this experience.
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Old 06-20-2014, 05:54 AM
 
3 posts, read 2,170 times
Reputation: 23
My dad moved into the Arizona Grand on 24th St (S of Camelback) last year. He has his own little studio apartment with his own stuff. He goes down for meals twice a day, and says the food is very good. He still has to do his own laundry, but the company would do it for him (for a fee). He just gave up driving and is having a hard adjustment, but I dont' feel too much sympathy as he is 100% deaf and not good with the technology, and has slowed down a lot. The complex has a bus and does regular weekly outings to all the area stores, etc, and I've offered him $$$ for taxis if the transport schedule doesn't work for him. They will also take him to doctors, etc. He's paying a little more than the rent he used to pay for an apartment in Scottsdale, and his phone and cable are included in his monthly rate. They have call buttons by the bed and in the bathroom (long string, so you can grab it from being on the floor or in the bathtub). To prove you're alive and OK, you have a little placard on the door knob that goes out in the afternoon/evening, and you take it off in the morning. Place seems very nice, and Dad's biggest complaint is that 24th & Camelback doesn't look the same as the north parts of Scottsdale.

So, when and if it is necessary, these assisted living places are pretty nice. I plan on being in one when I'm in my mid to late 70s.
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Old 06-24-2014, 08:12 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,611 posts, read 9,672,539 times
Reputation: 10948
Quote:
Originally Posted by rotator101 View Post
My dad moved into the Arizona Grand on 24th St (S of Camelback) last year. He has his own little studio apartment with his own stuff. He goes down for meals twice a day, and says the food is very good. He still has to do his own laundry, but the company would do it for him (for a fee). He just gave up driving and is having a hard adjustment, but I dont' feel too much sympathy as he is 100% deaf and not good with the technology, and has slowed down a lot. The complex has a bus and does regular weekly outings to all the area stores, etc, and I've offered him $$$ for taxis if the transport schedule doesn't work for him. They will also take him to doctors, etc. He's paying a little more than the rent he used to pay for an apartment in Scottsdale, and his phone and cable are included in his monthly rate. They have call buttons by the bed and in the bathroom (long string, so you can grab it from being on the floor or in the bathtub). To prove you're alive and OK, you have a little placard on the door knob that goes out in the afternoon/evening, and you take it off in the morning. Place seems very nice, and Dad's biggest complaint is that 24th & Camelback doesn't look the same as the north parts of Scottsdale.

So, when and if it is necessary, these assisted living places are pretty nice. I plan on being in one when I'm in my mid to late 70s.
I've been past that place before but didn't realize it was an assisted living place. Guess I didn't look close enough. I don't think my mom would be happy in ANY place that isn't her own home. She has already told me, in no uncertain words, that she's seen enough nursing homes during her church visitation times she doesn't want to BE in one! I took care of a couple of people who live in assisted living places when I did in-home health care. Nice places...and very expensive! They had all the amenities you mentioned.

He's right that 24th and Camelback doesn't look the same as Scottsdale. lol
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Old 06-24-2014, 08:30 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,611 posts, read 9,672,539 times
Reputation: 10948
Default If you can stand it...

one more, and probably last, update on Mom.

She is doing pretty good but, lord, has she slowed down. She can still dress herself, etc. but it takes her forever and that's okay. She is sleeping, way too much...IMO...which means she's having a heckuva time sleeping at night. She's up around 4 AM, gets a snack, more water and whatever she has to do then back to bed and watches TV. She was up at 6 AM today but usually doesn't get up before 10:00. She said she was going to church Sunday so nephew came to pick her up and she was still in bed. She thought it was Friday. She does this a lot.

So far no balance problems, no left side 'going out' on her but she has a hard time standing up sometimes. I told her I was happy that she had so many things to grab onto in her bedroom but at the same time I worry because it's a lot of things she can fall INTO. Actually, that's a problem all over the house! She's being extra careful, for sure.

I spent the entire morning in her kitchen. Getting rid of 'stuff' that she doesn't need, scrubbing and cleaning like a madwoman. Awesome cleaner is AWESOME. lol Terrible grease on everything from cooking and you can actually read the dials on the front of the stove now. I'm gonna get mad if anyone messes it up.

Mom has spent most of the week on her own while I've been working. She's been doing okay, taking care of herself alright but I still worry some.

Took her to the doc this afternoon. He brought up her records from the hospital 'event' and went over that with her. Not sure he would've if I hadn't been there though. I 'bugged' him with lots of questions and one answer I got was "No cranberries, period". So, okay. He did reduce her blood pressure meds. She reported that she's been having some dizziness and other stuff that she hadn't told ME about! It was okay when they took it but I think her BP cuff here at home wasn't working right because it was showing her BP at 72-79 over 50s something. Not right. She used it at the doc's office to show him. I took it to Walgreen's and they traded her a new one, straight across. Nice! She has an appointment with a specialist and will have carpel tunnel surgery pretty soon. The hospital will call and let her know. She has a neck problem too that requires surgery to correct but doc is hoping the carpel tunnel 'fix' will help since it's 'connected' somehow. ALL of this is on her left side. And she said "No" anyway.

So...once again. Thanks to all for your support and kind words and good advice. It is much appreciated and hopefully things will continue to go well for Mom. I know, and accept, that she'll never be 100% again but I'll do my best to take care of her while she's here. My hours will go back to 'normal' starting next week so we'll see how that goes!

Again...thank you all!!
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Old 06-25-2014, 05:17 AM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,294,298 times
Reputation: 7522
AZ, I suggest a chiropractor. Good luck with her surgery.
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