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Old 06-25-2014, 06:19 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,766 posts, read 7,047,160 times
Reputation: 14300

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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
Such as how (or where) to live? Are your family or friends too opinionated (toward you) as far as you're concerned? Do you just turn a deaf ear, or do their comments get to you?

(I will disclose why I ask later)
I've gotten unwanted advice all my life, the advice I find the most amusing is from family members who haven't done as well as we have. Generally I just smile, and let the "counselor" know that while I might appreciate their concern, I will follow my own counsel as to what we do. Sometimes I just smile and consider the irony of their advice, considering who it's coming from.....
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Old 06-25-2014, 06:21 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,766 posts, read 7,047,160 times
Reputation: 14300
Quote:
Originally Posted by Umbria View Post
after all, we women couldn't possibly know what we're doing, especially if we're single. I listen, hoping I might hear something worthy - I don't have all the answers -and then keep possible good stuff and discard the trash.

There are those that are downright insulting and are lucky I just smile and mentally turn on the garbage disposal.

The know it alls I avoid.

Waiting to hear the rest of your story~~~~

Love the analogy!
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Old 06-25-2014, 06:23 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,766 posts, read 7,047,160 times
Reputation: 14300
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
Our daughter lives in NYC, single, rents. Very independent. She always comes home for all the important family events including all holidays and it's super fun having her around.

Bit of a surprise 2012 Christmas. She starts asking us about what we owe on the home and another property we own (we need to upgrade a lot of stuff on our home and have not been able to). Then, she proceeds to tell us that we no longer "fit the demographic of the neighborhood" and that we should move.

Well, first of all, everyone on our street is our age or older except for 2 couples in their 40's and we know everyone (16 homes). No sales since 2006, however, there is one for sale right now (I'm real sad about that one).

To say I was shocked was an understatement. She went on to tell me that one of the things about where we live is that younger people are moving in and keeping the neighborhood young and isn't that what I loved about it 25 years ago when we were young?

We love where we live and have no intentions of leaving but this really shocked me to no end. It actually made me very sad and I don't know where it was coming from. Maybe some of her friend's parents are downsizing (I doubt it though) and that's what I said to her - where would we go?

The other thing she picks on is my weight but I am now really working on that and she is right about a lot of things in that area. I guess she just wants us to be healthy.
Sounds like she needs you to tell her to put a sock in it!
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Old 06-25-2014, 06:59 PM
 
Location: Maryland
282 posts, read 306,269 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Umbria View Post
Ha Ha! This is what I have always thought but broke down and bought one before my road trip - in case of emergencies. No pay phones anymore and you really can't trust anyone to help you. I got a Southport, NC # so my realtor uses it and I've given it to a few friends that don't pay LD charges so they have called - just to "test" me

Nice to see I'm not the only crotchety old geezer
I guess I am one too. I am 53 and don't have a cell phone (and don't need one). I like being out of reach. But when I retire in 2016 I plan to get one and not have a home phone. I have vonage at home now.
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Old 06-26-2014, 06:17 AM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,942,381 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSRSJim View Post
I guess I am one too. I am 53 and don't have a cell phone (and don't need one). I like being out of reach. But when I retire in 2016 I plan to get one and not have a home phone. I have vonage at home now.
Everyone needs a cell phone these days (unless you spend all of your time at home or in crowded areas where everyone else has a cell phone). Perhaps you haven't noticed - but all of those pay phones disappeared a decade or so ago . So - if you have any kind of emergency (your car breaks down - you have a heart attack - whatever) - and you need to contact help - you need a cell phone. FWIW - we got our first cell phones when our car broke down - in a shopping center - and there wasn't a pay phone anywhere. Robyn
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Old 06-26-2014, 08:58 AM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,623 posts, read 9,692,127 times
Reputation: 11005
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
Such as how (or where) to live? Are your family or friends too opinionated (toward you) as far as you're concerned? Do you just turn a deaf ear, or do their comments get to you?

(I will disclose why I ask later)
Every time I read the title of this thread the only person I can think of who never ceased giving me "advice"...wanted or not...was my dad. Even today if I try to discuss something with my mom she'll always say, "You do what you think is best". Which could be a nod to my decision making, I suppose. NONE of my siblings would even think about giving me advice and none ask for mine either. Fine with me! My nephews have received advice from me, I admit, but they don't often take it. Don't know why they bother to ask!
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Old 06-26-2014, 09:58 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,193,442 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
When I feel "compelled" to give unsolicited advice (when I see a friend/family member about to make a big mistake), I try to couch it in the form of a question, just to see if they have thought through their decision or to maybe trigger some more thought on their part. For example, to an 18 year old wanting to adopt a pet..."have you thought about who would care for that dog you adopt when you leave for college?...do you think that is fair to them, since they aren't the one making this decision?" It's not advice, but hopefully it spurs them to consider the consequences/impact of their actions and consider alternative scenarios.
That is essentially what a good counselor or therapist would do. Kudos to you. Smart way of getting the other person to just think things through. Especially good if once you have asked the questions, you don't keep revisiting it. If you continue to revisit the subject, folks soon catch on to what many will consider intrusive questioning.

You are very wise for handling things this way.
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Old 06-26-2014, 10:04 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,193,442 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Robyn55 View Post
Everyone needs a cell phone these days (unless you spend all of your time at home or in crowded areas where everyone else has a cell phone). Perhaps you haven't noticed - but all of those pay phones disappeared a decade or so ago . So - if you have any kind of emergency (your car breaks down - you have a heart attack - whatever) - and you need to contact help - you need a cell phone. FWIW - we got our first cell phones when our car broke down - in a shopping center - and there wasn't a pay phone anywhere. Robyn
It really is a safety factor (having a cell phone). One does not need a "smart" phone, though. I was an early adopter with the iPhone but I used it in my business. I would never encourage someone to spend the money for a data plan and an iPhone unless it will truly benefit them in some way. Being able to text on any phone can also be a real plus, but again, not something everyone needs.

A lot of folks have dropped their home landlines and just pay the one bill for their cell phones now.

I think I am going to keep a landline - if for no reason but for emergencies. Haven't decided on this yet.
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Old 06-26-2014, 10:26 AM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,623 posts, read 9,692,127 times
Reputation: 11005
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
It really is a safety factor (having a cell phone). One does not need a "smart" phone, though. I was an early adopter with the iPhone but I used it in my business. I would never encourage someone to spend the money for a data plan and an iPhone unless it will truly benefit them in some way. Being able to text on any phone can also be a real plus, but again, not something everyone needs.

A lot of folks have dropped their home landlines and just pay the one bill for their cell phones now.

I think I am going to keep a landline - if for no reason but for emergencies. Haven't decided on this yet.
I was a cell phone resister for a very long time. Figured I'd got along quite well all these years without one and that included doing some very long road trips alone. Then, two years ago my mom INSISTED that I get one before I left on vacation. Okay, cheap flip phone and $30 mo. for minutes, etc.. That one eventually died and I considered not getting another one. But then I found out I'd gotten used to it and went and got another one. I should have just picked up another little flip phone but no, I had to go and get a "smart phone". I have a love/hate relationship with it. I DO get to access the internet now and a LOT of stuff I couldn't do with the other one but I think it'll be like my computer...it is capable of TONS of things I'll never use.

I think everyone but me texts. I will if it's really short but I like talking to people. My kids all text one another but I don't hear a peep unless I text. My brothers and nephews are the same way! It aggravates me to no end sometimes. It reminds me of the "excuse" my mom used for not writing to me..."No news is good news". So if I don't text my kids I can just use that on them. lol

I go back and forth on the landline thing. I 'think' I've decided to just keep it.
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Old 06-26-2014, 10:30 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,988,950 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post

A lot of folks have dropped their home landlines and just pay the one bill for their cell phones now.

I think I am going to keep a landline - if for no reason but for emergencies. Haven't decided on this yet.
I must keep a landline, because I often cannot find my cell phone within the house. I panic and have to call someone I know on my landline to have them call my cell phone so it rings and I can follow the sound. The worst times are when I've silenced the ringer for some reason and then everything gets turned upside down as I look frantically for it.

The other thing as that cell service goes down when cell towers do, such as during an ice storm or tech glitz. That's happened several times here and the only phone working was the landline. I don't carry LD service on the landline, just the basic that allows calls within a 30-mi radius.
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