U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 08-01-2014, 06:48 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,004,474 times
Reputation: 15649

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Umbria View Post
Back off.
Well, that's a valid non-approach. However, with what he thinks he needs to save for future renovations that will never happen, we'd need a separate moving truck.

He sees how hard I'm working to downsize my own stuff and furniture he's always wanted to get rid of. He hasn't helped with any of that. He has, for example, 15 empty/nearly empty buckets from joint compound. The buckets are now out of shape and cannot be stacked. I made a simple case for keeping 5 and getting rid of 10 and you'd think I asked him to lift up the house. LOL
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-01-2014, 08:56 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic east coast
5,372 posts, read 9,877,585 times
Reputation: 10243
It's funny what we "hoard," isn't it?

I've been slowly cleaning out my drawers and closet, whittling down my clothes and making donations to charity. ( I love thrift shops and seem to accumulate clothes too easily -- love a bargain).

Well, long story short, just discovered I now own about two dozen black tee shirts and tops--long sleeved and short sleeved and sleeveless.

Curious -- what does that say about me? I'm not grieving, depressed or live in NYC where black is so in. What's this fascination with basic black??

Anyhow, trying to cull the collection. But each top is appealing, so hard to decide! At least it's not cats or dogs or Beanie Babies, could be worse.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-01-2014, 10:22 AM
 
Location: SoCal desert
8,093 posts, read 13,249,708 times
Reputation: 14870
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
Curious to know if anyone is "fighting" their partner or spouse to get rid of his/her end of things?

Our garage and tool area is a disaster, despite all our disposal of "stuff." He claims he needs every blessed last piece of you-know-what for some project into the distant future. I've found dozens of cans of unsorted nails and screws, hundreds of uncategorized items
Pick up one.
Put in trash can.
Next week, pick up one, put in trash can.
Over and over.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-01-2014, 12:30 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,004,474 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gandalara View Post
Pick up one.
Put in trash can.
Next week, pick up one, put in trash can.
Over and over.
haha, I could do it too. And I could also sort those jillion cans of hodgepodge nails in a jiffy. The really fun thing is that I've gone out and bought different kinds of hardware that he already had! How did I discover this? Just recently, by crossing into his territory and sorting through his mess for a hammer to put up a picture. OMG. You sure learn a lot about someone by looking at their workspace. To his credit, he claims he knows exactly where everything is.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-01-2014, 01:53 PM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,319,627 times
Reputation: 7524
Quote:
Originally Posted by choff5 View Post
CcGirl, thanks for the confidence boost. I may take you up on this once we get into it. I just had a discovery, and an addition, to my eBay pile today. I was finally dealing with three large bags of plastic storage containers, moving into a kitchen half the size of my old one, when I happened to look on eBay at Tupperware. Oh my, everything listed had sold! I have one large bag of nothing but their storage modular units that went into the eBay pile immediately. Took care of the problem for the moment.
Yeppers, the Tware sells big time, especially those seventies avocado and burnt orange colors!

Ebay has tons of self help courses to get you rolling. I am here if need be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jlawrence01 View Post
That is all that I have been hearing for months .... "we have to get rid of all this junk." I told the DW that I was not giving up anything until the Imelda Marcos shoe collection had been halved. That was purely a stalling tactic that backfired as 50 pairs went bye-bye.

I don't mind getting rid of stuff - a lot of stuff - but I would like to get the opportunity to look through the remaining 4-5 boxes of personal memorabilia (my memory boxes) before I have to make a decision.

Besides, I have a method to my madness. I put all of my long sleeve shirts on the shelf instead of on hangers. In January 2016, any shirts that are still on the shelf are going bye-bye after the guys here tell me you never need a long sleeve shirt in Tucson. I think other clothes will go as I will not be able to maintain my weight with all of the daily forced marches.
LMAO she took your dare!!!!!!!!!


Sometimes the downsizing can be contagious, DH got the hang soon after I started purging. Dunno what to say to the hangers on except keep getting rid of stuff and maybe the other half will feel one upped or something to that effect.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-01-2014, 04:19 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,004,474 times
Reputation: 15649
I have heard of downsizing wars between partners/spouses and some of them close to home. My sister, whose husband is a professional and also a packrat, had so much stuff of his in their attached garage that she couldn't get into the garage from the house to empty the trash or cat litter. This is a 15-year+ feud between them. He never lifted a finger to haul anything away (mostly lumber, roof shingles, all the stuff I see in our garage that prevents me from getting to the freezer).

During one of his trips alone without her, she hired a n'hood h.s. kid and got a dumpster brought in. The dumpster got hauled away leaving nearly nothing in the garage. DH came home and didn't even notice what she'd done. Went to snooze in front of the TV. This was two years ago. Now they're warring about his woodwork shop in the basement, which I have seen.

Another couple we know is actually in counseling around what her DH claims to be her hoarding issues. She's shown me their storage space attached to their condo and it looked pretty neat to me. Apparently he, like me, gets anxious around too much stuff.

Somehow I see a great "downsizing war" movie with Bette Midler and Billy Crystal, leaving a 20-room mansion up north for a condo in FL. I'm laughing already.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-01-2014, 04:22 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,004,474 times
Reputation: 15649
And a sequel in their new life in The Villages, with so many women after him.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-01-2014, 05:32 PM
 
28,287 posts, read 39,953,793 times
Reputation: 36799
Quote:
Originally Posted by CCc girl View Post
My mom had an estate sale lady come, she said her fee is fifty percent??????? Sounds wrong to me, Tek, what's the take for your auctioneer?
35% plus two $50 trip charges for the pickup.

That covers sorting, tagging, selling, taking what's left to charitable organizations (and sending us the receipts), and dumping anything not worth selling. For us it is ideal. There is simply no way we could accomplish this on our own.

We had three tag sale people over and were disappointed in their attitude and expected payout. We had a very, very low trust level with them.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-01-2014, 05:41 PM
 
28,287 posts, read 39,953,793 times
Reputation: 36799
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
Curious to know if anyone is "fighting" their partner or spouse to get rid of his/her end of things?

Our garage and tool area is a disaster, despite all our disposal of "stuff." He claims he needs every blessed last piece of you-know-what for some project into the distant future. I've found dozens of cans of unsorted nails and screws, hundreds of uncategorized items that he claims he "just knows where to put his finger on it." A hodgepodge. I put my foot down and said we are going to clean up and organize, and he's balking. I don't want to push too hard but honestly, his area of "must-haves" for renovations (which we are almost done with and which we will never do again if I can help it) is out of control.

How to handle a reluctant organizer (other than to back off)??
I feel his pain. Did his parents live through the depression?

The toughest decisions for me were tools (And I mean a lot of tools. No yard work at the new house so anything with a long handle went), cans of nails, hand tools like saws, drills, etc., and 20 boxes of depression glass, decorative glass from mid 20th century, Noritake dinnerware, etc, from my mother's house. I had it since 1981 and gave to siblings what they wanted, but there was still a lot there.

Now on it's way to auction.

I understand his reluctance. It's tough for some of us to part with what looks a coffee can full of worthless items that can be easily replaced, but coming from a background of finding and straightening bent nails to reuse out of necessity does that to a person.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-01-2014, 06:08 PM
 
28,287 posts, read 39,953,793 times
Reputation: 36799
Quote:
Originally Posted by jlawrence01 View Post
That is all that I have been hearing for months .... "we have to get rid of all this junk." I told the DW that I was not giving up anything until the Imelda Marcos shoe collection had been halved. That was purely a stalling tactic that backfired as 50 pairs went bye-bye.

I don't mind getting rid of stuff - a lot of stuff - but I would like to get the opportunity to look through the remaining 4-5 boxes of personal memorabilia (my memory boxes) before I have to make a decision.

Besides, I have a method to my madness. I put all of my long sleeve shirts on the shelf instead of on hangers. In January 2016, any shirts that are still on the shelf are going bye-bye after the guys here tell me you never need a long sleeve shirt in Tucson. I think other clothes will go as I will not be able to maintain my weight with all of the daily forced marches.
I've never had that problem. I wear short sleeve shirts year round. And I currently live in central Iowa. Wife teases me about being a furnace.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top