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Old 01-23-2015, 03:12 AM
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,978 posts, read 3,464,691 times
Reputation: 10513


Originally Posted by rdflk View Post
But suppose you ARE no competent and you DO need someone to do that for your own good. There are very legitimate reasons your children may need to take over for you -- even if it means forcing you to relinquish the reins -- and they have nothing to do with money.

The caregiver board has plenty of adult children TRYING to do what's best for parents with dementia or Alzheimers who won't cooperate with what's best for them health-wise, safety-wise, etc. The parents are elderly, frail,obstinate and resist what would be best....they're not letting the children make arrangements to have an aide come in -- but they're living in filth, not eating, not taking medications, etc. Yet they're going to fight the kids who are trying to help them -- because they really CAN"T think for themselves anymore. They really are not mentally able to make decisions in their own best interest.

Perhaps I'm reading wrong but it seems you've now forced the kids to either:
-- let you live in squalor and failing health (this is just an "it COULD happen scenario) while you fight them tooth and nail, sabataging the help they're trying to get for you......(so they're NOT out of the will)
(And if they allow you to live like that they COULD be open to negligence charges)
-- OR get you declared mentally incapable (for your own good).....and inhert nothing.

Is that fair?
This is something to think about. When I was laid off from my job, I realized I could move in with family & help take care of my mother, who had Alzheimer's. Well, the nurse that saw her weekly noticed how patient I was with her & asked me if I would consider working with the elders close to me. I said sure, and was soon having clients that I helped bathe, dress, cook &/or clean for.

My first long-term client also had dementia & the family did not dare to leave her alone. So help was hired. Now, if her son had not had power of attorney, the family could not have coped. She was eventually put in a nursing home as the things she did were harmful to her well-being. Trying to bake a pizza on top of the stove was one of her antics.

So, just keep in mind that the family may need to place you so you don't hurt yourself. As for our family, mom was the last person I would have thought to get Alzheimer's. Just a thought.
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Old 05-31-2015, 07:43 AM
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,985,208 times
Reputation: 15649
Update on the garage: about a third of the mess is now gone. I got him to group the lumber scraps together by size and kind. How else would he know what the heck he has on hand for finishing this house. I can now see about 40% of the garage floor. I also got a few dozen containers and started sorting nails. This is a ridiculous pursuit and I stopped early on. This fall I will campaign (not nag , but maybe) for another clean-out.
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Old 05-31-2015, 11:06 AM
28,243 posts, read 39,914,600 times
Reputation: 36758
I already miss things I didn't bring . Mostly lumber, but some tools. I need to buy a two-by-four. One will do. There are things that require that size just to make work. Short, strong bracing for one.
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