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Old 07-10-2014, 06:29 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,969,510 times
Reputation: 15649

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Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeywrenching View Post
I also put in my will that if any daughter gets an judge or doctor to declare me invalid or a mental case, they are cut out of my entire will completely, and if all 3 did it, then my entire property and holdings of my will goes to a charity that I have already chosen.

you just have to know how to word your will and show it to your kids in order for them not to get any stupid notions in their head.
This is one of the funniest things I've ever heard, lol. Now that's tellin' 'em!
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Old 07-10-2014, 06:36 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,969,510 times
Reputation: 15649
The difficult decisions...

Knowing we'll be moving a final time within a few years, I've started facing some of the bigger heavier things that I know we do not want to care for or cart with us into later years. I've had quite a hard time facing the idea of parting with very heavy floor plants in big ceramic pots. They take a lot of care, bless their hearts. So today I took photos and posted them for sale, with sadness but an "it's time to let go" attitude. Same with a coffee table set that doesn't really fit our style and is heavy as all getout. If these items don't sell I'll bring the tables to Goodwill, but don't know what to do with the beloved plants. I've stopped propagating cuttings from my other plants; I have an overly green thumb and before I know it a tiny plant is taking up a whole corner of a room.
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Old 07-11-2014, 12:27 PM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, originally from SF Bay Area
29,765 posts, read 54,408,375 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
The difficult decisions...

Knowing we'll be moving a final time within a few years, I've started facing some of the bigger heavier things that I know we do not want to care for or cart with us into later years. I've had quite a hard time facing the idea of parting with very heavy floor plants in big ceramic pots. They take a lot of care, bless their hearts. So today I took photos and posted them for sale, with sadness but an "it's time to let go" attitude. Same with a coffee table set that doesn't really fit our style and is heavy as all getout. If these items don't sell I'll bring the tables to Goodwill, but don't know what to do with the beloved plants. I've stopped propagating cuttings from my other plants; I have an overly green thumb and before I know it a tiny plant is taking up a whole corner of a room.
I have a collection of close to 100 bonsai, some as old as 150 years, and with pots, weighing 75 lbs. None of the kids have any interest so I suppose I'll end up selling them at some point, but at 62 I still plan to keep them when we move to a small house with large yard.
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Old 07-11-2014, 03:42 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,969,510 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hemlock140 View Post
I have a collection of close to 100 bonsai, some as old as 150 years, and with pots, weighing 75 lbs. None of the kids have any interest so I suppose I'll end up selling them at some point, but at 62 I still plan to keep them when we move to a small house with large yard.
Ha, plants and pets, can't part with them!

In some cleanouts I do well, other times not so well. I filled six grocery bags full of stuff we'll never use again, nice stuff no one in the family wants, including a heavy wool handknit afghan, a beautiful mohair throw, and two heavy duty new dog coats for winter that our dogs absolutely refused to wear, stamping their feet till we took them off.

Loaded it all in the car. Got to Goodwill and easily brought 4 bags into the store. I looked at the bag with afghan and throw and quickly pulled out the throwócouldn't part with it. Then I looked at the bag with the dog coats, expensive and brand new!!! I'll make those two wear these next winter when it's 10 degrees outside even if they holler. Back into the house with these things.

It's been that way all through the downsizing, two steps forward and one step back. Someone contacted me yesterday inquiring about one of the big houseplants, and I lied and said it was sold!
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Old 07-11-2014, 11:56 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,845 posts, read 14,356,798 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LivingDeadGirl View Post
Same here - the trick is to not be in contact with your family then they can't keep an eye on you and swoop in with the lawyers and physicians to declare you inept and take all your money. The only retirement community I would consider is the one mentioned on here: Rock On. They are trying to pull it together - it's for old musicians but it sounds like the sort of place I could enjoy.
We actually wanted to be closer to our family. That's why we moved cross country. I am not afraid of my kids doing anything untoward to me. However, it may be that I have to move to an ALF, if I live that long. I hope never to have to do that, however. But realistically, I might.
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Old 07-12-2014, 09:42 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,655,251 times
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I just gotten through with a cross country move. I got rid of a lot of stuff and have gotten rid of more since I have moved into my new apartment. Ironically, my new place is twice the size of my old one. That worked well because it enabled me to see just how much stuff I had left over I didn't want or need. My next move in a few years will be to a lovely over 62 community I have my eye where the apartments are much smaller than my present apartment so I kind of have that in mind when I make any new purchases.

I never had a house; it was either larger apartments or small ones depending upon the income dujour. But I always had a lot of stuff. I have done more purging than ever of that stuff but that was because I was ready to do so. Some things that were once important to me are no longer. That's the key. Getting rid of things I would have regretted getting rid of would have hurt. Getting rid of when they use either their sentimental value or their utility doesn't hurt.

I don't care what an article says people of my generation are doing or not doing. If Seniors what more land or space to fill up, who is to say they should not have it? I know young people who are hoarders. They could die and leave all kinds of detritus for someone else to clear out just as much as older folks. I have a mind towards not making it difficult for my sisters if I die first so they will not have to clear out a bunch of junk behind me but I also don't plan to live in an empty apartment in the meantime.

I don't know where the author gets "the popular perception" with the assumption that people of a certain generation are downsizing. People do that which suits their needs regardless of age.
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Old 07-12-2014, 11:20 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,969,510 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
I don't know where the author gets "the popular perception" with the assumption that people of a certain generation are downsizing. People do that which suits their needs regardless of age.
If given an either-or choice, I'd rather have a much larger place than we'd want with just the essentials (and my plants ) than a small house (the kind we're looking for) with way too much stuff. As it stands, what we're looking for, a small house, will be uncluttered with just the essentials for us both (and my plants ).

I took the plants off Craigslist.
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Old 07-12-2014, 02:34 PM
 
2,429 posts, read 3,222,625 times
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Quote:
I also put in my will that if any daughter gets an judge or doctor to declare me invalid or a mental case, they are cut out of my entire will completely, and if all 3 did it, then my entire property and holdings of my will goes to a charity that I have already chosen.
But suppose you ARE no competent and you DO need someone to do that for your own good. There are very legitimate reasons your children may need to take over for you -- even if it means forcing you to relinquish the reins -- and they have nothing to do with money.

The caregiver board has plenty of adult children TRYING to do what's best for parents with dementia or Alzheimers who won't cooperate with what's best for them health-wise, safety-wise, etc. The parents are elderly, frail,obstinate and resist what would be best....they're not letting the children make arrangements to have an aide come in -- but they're living in filth, not eating, not taking medications, etc. Yet they're going to fight the kids who are trying to help them -- because they really CAN"T think for themselves anymore. They really are not mentally able to make decisions in their own best interest.

Perhaps I'm reading wrong but it seems you've now forced the kids to either:
-- let you live in squalor and failing health (this is just an "it COULD happen scenario) while you fight them tooth and nail, sabataging the help they're trying to get for you......(so they're NOT out of the will)
(And if they allow you to live like that they COULD be open to negligence charges)
-- OR get you declared mentally incapable (for your own good).....and inhert nothing.

Is that fair?
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Old 07-12-2014, 02:47 PM
 
2,429 posts, read 3,222,625 times
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As for downsizing.....the two times I've moved so far in my adult life....both times mentally I've made such a break from the old place -- that i've taken practically nothing from that life and living arrangement. They've both just been 'that was then, this is now...I'm leaving that behind and start fresh...starting all over with a new part of my life' kind of moves.

So I tend to leave 95 percent...and buy new, start fresh. It's a very 'those things were for that part of my life, but for the next stage' sort of thinking.

So when I retire and move back to my childhood home, I'm planning to take clothes/jewelry, TV's photos. No furniture at all. That house already has TWO generations of furniture in it. It's easier to sell mine here...and move back there with fewer things. .....than sell what's there and move my things in.

Besides if I move with less, the MOVE is easier and costs less. For example, if I need or want a new mattress, buy it, then the company I bought it from delivers it...I don't have to deal with moving it. I an already see that in retirement, I don't expect I'll be as much of a clutter junkie as I am now. I'm already looking around and thinking, "I don't need 90 percent of what I've got all over this place." In that case why move most of it into my "new life."
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Old 07-12-2014, 06:56 PM
Q44
 
Location: Hudson Valley, NY
895 posts, read 765,264 times
Reputation: 1761
If I had a time machine I would go back in time and smack myself in the head every time I bought a collectible or started a new hobby. I'd tell myself to put it back on the shelf and get out of the store.

Ditto for every videotape and DVD I had to have "for the collection".

We're looking to clean out the basement and the closets and we have a slight difference of opinion. My wife thinks a yard sale is the way to go. I'm more of a Goodwill and dumpster guy. How do you accumulate so much . . . stuff?
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