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Old 06-18-2014, 09:55 AM
 
75 posts, read 88,260 times
Reputation: 170

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Some folks in their late 80's lived next door to us until a month ago. The wife was legally blind but her mind was sharp as a tack (and the tongue was often sharper, haha). The husband had eyes like an eagle but had mental processing issues from a previous stroke and brain surgery.

Together they made one functioning person - most of the time. He still drove,but couldn't remember where to turn right or turn left. The wife had just enough vision left that she could usually direct him. We tried to help with small things like mowing the part of their yard that attaches to ours, fixing small things around their house (my husband is a retired contractor), and generally making sure they were doing ok. The lady who sold our house to us still came over weekly to help those neighbors with paying their bills, etc.

We sure enjoyed their spunk! We were sad for us but happy for them when their adult kids insisted on moving them into SD where they would be closer to help with things. The kids also insisted that both vehicles be sold; the wife who was legally blind still had "her" van and he had "his" truck.

The lady who bought the place next door is in her late 80's, and her son who in his 60's lives with her to watch over her. The adult daughter lives nearby and comes over every weekend to water and weed their 5x5 garden. In between the daughter's visits, we continue to mow the shared lawn, have helped with some minor fixes to the house, etc.

Honestly, helping out is a great way to make friends and get to know people, as long as both sides are respectful about it. Don't want to offend by offering too much, or by taking too much, ya know? We put the offer out there and then don't make a big deal about it if they ignore it or turn it down. We know that people have their own ways and it doesn't offend us when they want to do it themselves.
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Old 06-18-2014, 10:09 AM
 
Location: zippidy doo dah
895 posts, read 1,331,660 times
Reputation: 1928
Like several posters said, it's funny when you realize you ARE the elderly person on the street (in the eyes of the younger families).

I do have an older neighbor who walks past my house daily on her trek to the grocery store and back (more for exercise than groceries). I felt good that she called me one afternoon to see if I could pick up a prescription for her as she was feeling terrible. It was such an easy request and I was delighted she felt comfortable enough to have actually taken me up on my offer that she call me if she ever needed me for something.

Recently while I was outside, she was walking by and felt overcome by the heat. Again, just a quick jump in the car to get her home.

I love that aspect of neighboring - friendship - what have you......sometimes helping demands a bit more of you, sometimes less but to be able to fill the gap for someone else. That's cool.

Now if someone could install land mines between another neighbor's house & my own, life would be perfect..........................
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Old 06-18-2014, 10:14 AM
 
Location: zippidy doo dah
895 posts, read 1,331,660 times
Reputation: 1928
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlisonA View Post
Some folks in their late 80's lived next door to us until a month ago. The wife was legally blind but her mind was sharp as a tack (and the tongue was often sharper, haha). The husband had eyes like an eagle but had mental processing issues from a previous stroke and brain surgery.

Together they made one functioning person - most of the time. He still drove,but couldn't remember where to turn right or turn left. The wife had just enough vision left that she could usually direct him. We tried to help with small things like mowing the part of their yard that attaches to ours, fixing small things around their house (my husband is a retired contractor), and generally making sure they were doing ok. The lady who sold our house to us still came over weekly to help those neighbors with paying their bills, etc.

We sure enjoyed their spunk! We were sad for us but happy for them when their adult kids insisted on moving them into SD where they would be closer to help with things. The kids also insisted that both vehicles be sold; the wife who was legally blind still had "her" van and he had "his" truck.

The lady who bought the place next door is in her late 80's, and her son who in his 60's lives with her to watch over her. The adult daughter lives nearby and comes over every weekend to water and weed their 5x5 garden. In between the daughter's visits, we continue to mow the shared lawn, have helped with some minor fixes to the house, etc.

Honestly, helping out is a great way to make friends and get to know people, as long as both sides are respectful about it. Don't want to offend by offering too much, or by taking too much, ya know? We put the offer out there and then don't make a big deal about it if they ignore it or turn it down. We know that people have their own ways and it doesn't offend us when they want to do it themselves.
You are the kind of neighbor that everyone loves to have! The balance of willingness to give and accept tempered with respect makes a nicer quality of life for everyone.
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Old 06-18-2014, 10:32 AM
 
Location: California
4,554 posts, read 5,472,028 times
Reputation: 9608
Quote:
Originally Posted by mzfroggez View Post
Like several posters said, it's funny when you realize you ARE the elderly person on the street (in the eyes of the younger families).

I do have an older neighbor who walks past my house daily on her trek to the grocery store and back (more for exercise than groceries). I felt good that she called me one afternoon to see if I could pick up a prescription for her as she was feeling terrible. It was such an easy request and I was delighted she felt comfortable enough to have actually taken me up on my offer that she call me if she ever needed me for something.

Recently while I was outside, she was walking by and felt overcome by the heat. Again, just a quick jump in the car to get her home.

I love that aspect of neighboring - friendship - what have you......sometimes helping demands a bit more of you, sometimes less but to be able to fill the gap for someone else. That's cool.

Now if someone could install land mines between another neighbor's house & my own, life would be perfect..........................
Sadly, with mail prescriptions and home delivery of groceries, I can see how many will become more and more isolated if others aren't aware of their situation.
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Old 06-18-2014, 10:44 AM
 
Location: New Mexico
6,575 posts, read 3,667,513 times
Reputation: 12363
My neighbor is 76, thats 11 years older than me and he's a handyman that keeps busy helping widow ladies with their honey-dos. He is an inspiration to me because of how active he is. He has helped me out in a dozen different home-owner projects. So -- in my case he helps me out. We did spend ten hours together on his roof a couple weeks ago getting his 'swamp cooler' working properly and I occasionally serve as his 'helper' if he has a job that needs a couple more hands.
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Old 06-18-2014, 10:51 AM
 
Location: middle tennessee
1,924 posts, read 989,259 times
Reputation: 6931
Quote:
Originally Posted by kadylady View Post
I might also add....
I think it's really important to invite our single/widowed neighbors to a family meal/bbq fairly often. I'm cooking anyway and an extra person is never too much.
We have also taken our neighbor on camping trips. She hasn't been able to do that since her husband died.
I wish I could give you a big hug for this...... boogiesmom


































































































































































































f11
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Old 06-18-2014, 12:05 PM
 
Location: Kalamalka Lake, B.C.
3,044 posts, read 4,016,359 times
Reputation: 3898
Default When off to school.........

Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmyhoss View Post
My neighborhood is graying rapidly.
A number of these neighbors are losing certain abilities such as
Driving.
So to help, I'll offer rides. Do you help?
you just shoveled the snow from the widders sidewalk.
Made sure the old guys trash was out.
Cleared a path to the guys car down the road.

You didn't have to be asked; you just did it.
Just like getting the hay out of the fields as rain blew in. You showed up.
That's what communities were all about.
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Old 06-18-2014, 12:21 PM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,932,507 times
Reputation: 6716
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlisonA View Post
Some folks in their late 80's lived next door to us until a month ago. The wife was legally blind but her mind was sharp as a tack (and the tongue was often sharper, haha). The husband had eyes like an eagle but had mental processing issues from a previous stroke and brain surgery.

Together they made one functioning person - most of the time. He still drove,but couldn't remember where to turn right or turn left. The wife had just enough vision left that she could usually direct him...The kids also insisted that both vehicles be sold; the wife who was legally blind still had "her" van and he had "his" truck. ...
Most of the stuff in this thread is "feel good" - but the first part of the above is not. Those people had no business being on the road - and I'm glad their kids apparently saw to it that they weren't after they moved. Robyn
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Old 06-18-2014, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Oxygen Ln. AZ
9,321 posts, read 16,582,586 times
Reputation: 5692
Our older neighbor came over a few months ago and asked my husband if he could look at his roof to see if it needed replacing. My husband has no business up on ladders any longer but being he was 20 years younger than the neighbor,,,up he went. The roof was fine and we saved our neighbor $10,000 for a new roof from the scam artist that told him he needed one. So little gestures, but we do look out for each other here.
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Old 06-18-2014, 01:21 PM
 
1,770 posts, read 2,443,375 times
Reputation: 5164
For years, until my very elderly neighbors moved last year, I heavy cleaned their house every 6 months or so (took about 4 days !!), I did some of their yard work every week, I did some carpentry work for them, etc. But they helped me a bunch by looking after my place every time I traveled when they were younger and able to.

I have some friends that are near 80 and I heavy clean their house when they allow me to and bring them home cooked food every now and then since they have stopped cooking mostly. They still get around ok but slowly.

I try to be a good neighbor and friend and since I am still quite agile, strong and quick, I can help the old folks by cleaning house. Seems that is where old folks really need the help: they can't get on ladders, they can't scrub the floors and baseboards, do windows, and often just can't see well enough to clean.
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