U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-18-2014, 01:32 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,997,544 times
Reputation: 15649

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold View Post
Damn, you stole my post!
And mine.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-18-2014, 02:01 PM
 
Location: Location: Location
6,353 posts, read 7,838,998 times
Reputation: 18590
I have a really great next-door neighbor. He has a snowblower and he clears my front sidewalk, our shared driveway and my back parking lot. When his snowblower was out for repairs last winter, this dear man actually shoveled the whole thing!

A neighbor on the other side was mowing my lawn several years ago and I was wondering why the grass didn't seem to be growing! I heard her one day when I happened to be home, and I asked her to please leave the mowing for me. She seemed a little annoyed when she said, "I thought I was helping." I assured her that I wasn't upset, it was just that it was good exercise for me and as long as I could handle it, I'd like to. She doesn't speak much since then. Oh, well.

I don't cook for my neighbors, but then I don't cook much for myself. But if anyone out there has a some left-over dinner... I sometimes go to my youngest's home where his wife cooks a meal every single night and I am always welcome to eat there, or even take a dish home.

I would offer to take any one of my neighbors to their appointments, or to the grocery store or pharmacy, but that would upset Robyn.

I suppose the biggest help I am to my neighbors is that I'm not a busybody and I don't make trouble.
"Hello" and "How are you?" is about the extent of it.

Kudos to all of you who are kind and helpful to those who have become limited in physical activity.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2014, 03:14 PM
 
Location: UP of Michigan
1,766 posts, read 2,085,605 times
Reputation: 5713
Thanks to younger neigbors, my 90 year old MIL can remain at home by herself. Amazingly, she is still driving, and I am glad the reports come in from those close neighbors watching out for her. This device also helps us feel more comfortable with her situation. Assistive Technology Services We try to treat these neighbors to let them know how important they are!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2014, 03:20 PM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,313,876 times
Reputation: 7524
Our neighbors are a lovely couple in their eighties.

Jack is a cantankerous geek from IBM in the sixties. I help with the computers. He's borderline diabetic and has back problems. He gets cranky and won't eat sometimes.

Gloria is a retired nurse. She keeps an eye on Jack, and for good reason, he's been in the hospital twice this year.

They live with their youngest son who is in his fifties. He's had a stroke, has kidney problems, and gout and is the delight of his Medicaid doctors, he's always off to a specialist.

His older brother is there most of the time unless they need him downstate where he and the youngest brother own a contractor business.

Jack and Gloria always have a houseful of family most weekends.

We visit about once a month. The youngest will show up with some eggs or sweet rolls from his mom when he needs to get away and visit. He spends his days feeding and managing their herd of Scottish Highland cattle and two draft horses.

When we were building the addition to the shop the boys came over and floated the new cement floor for us. Payment? Absolutely not. Hot coffee and cold beer all day, and two casseroles sent home with them.

When we had a big snowfall over this winter the oldest showed up on his loader and cleared the road up to the barn and the corral in front of the shop. I was working and DH was napping, I didn't even know until DH recognized the tracks from the machine.

When their garden comes in we will get the youngest with bags of tomatoes and zucchini, all he really wants is to shoot the bull for an hour or so.

Whenever they have car trouble Dh helps them out (retired master tech) and if they need parts I always get the call.

If they need parts and service manuals I find them on the net and load them on my flash drive to put on their pc's, no small feat for a 1958 Economy tractor.

Yeah, we love them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2014, 09:20 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,134 posts, read 23,028,696 times
Reputation: 35368
No. No more. My experience, living in a senior apt building (low income) is that if I start to help one of the other seniors, then next thing you know I am their caregiver. They want rides, they want me to cook their food, they want me to walk their dog, come into their apt and help them figure out what's wrong with their scooter, then finding and opening up their wheelchair, and pushing them down the hall.

I am now watering plants for a woman who never goes down to look at them. And she has a husband who is quite capable of watering her plants, but somehow I got Shanghai'd, once again, into taking care of somebody else's monkeys. (from another thread about people who get you to take care of their own responsibilities).

Oh, my God, I could go on and on.

So, my new rule is - NO! I am not helping anyone at all anymore. There are plenty of resources for seniors out there, and I don't want to be their resource anymore.

The thing is, they pretty much all qualify for in home health care workers for free. Some don't want "strangers" in their home, but they'll gladly let me help them for free.

All of the scenarios above by other posters all sound like situations where the elderly is not taking advantage. But, let me sound the warning - be careful about how involved you get. Some of them will then come to want/expect more and more from you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2014, 10:52 PM
 
26,591 posts, read 52,361,982 times
Reputation: 20438
I'm the go to person in my neighborhood where everyone is older.

Widow across the street will be 101 in a few days and lives alone...

Two house up my neighbor died at 104...

Next door is 96 and across 98... I could go on.

It's the kind of neighborhood where folks bought lots and built back in the 1950's and never leave until they get carried out.

Don't have to worry about what goes on when I'm at work... they are very good at keeping me up to date.

My number one duty is light bulb changer... then it would be troubleshooter for appliances and plumbing problems...

Mostly they just ask for my advice which is great... never know when a lemon cake or chocolate chip cookies will be waiting for me.

Many would be hard pressed to keep their homes if California did not have Prop 13 which keeps taxes predictable...

I really hope to be one of the elderly here one day...

The lady that will be 101 gave up driving at age 85... she and her husband had a perfect Cadillac and one day she decided she would do better calling a cab and it would be cheaper... asked me to help her sell it and we got a good price... not a scratch and she never had a ticket or accident in 70 years of driving...

Last edited by Ultrarunner; 06-19-2014 at 10:05 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2014, 11:14 PM
 
10,819 posts, read 8,077,208 times
Reputation: 17034
The best thing we ever did for our elderly neighbor (whom we loved dearly) was to call his son and tell him his father's driving was endangering the neighborhood.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2014, 06:17 AM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,584,621 times
Reputation: 3810
Quote:
Originally Posted by kadylady View Post
Although retired ourselves, we are still fairly "young". We help our neighbors all the time. My husband is probably the most help. Together we have helped build fences and stack firewood. He usually does the more heavy stuff. Cutting trees, digging, defrosting frozen pipes etc. etc.
I'm good at helping with computers and sharing our garden veggies. Feeding animals etc.
Basically, what goes around comes around. And we hope that when we need help, we'll have someone to help us, too.
When you llive outside of town, your neighbors are your family. We love our neighbors.
We do, too. Especially with plowing, shoveling, clearing off cars.
Ne winters are awful.
Pay it forward and see.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2014, 06:19 AM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,584,621 times
Reputation: 3810
Quote:
Originally Posted by kadylady View Post
I might also add....
I think it's really important to invite our single/widowed neighbors to a family meal/bbq fairly often. I'm cooking anyway and an extra person is never too much.
We have also taken our neighbor on camping trips. She hasn't been able to do that since her husband died.
Very important to keep up social interaction.
I'm sure they love to see everyone.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2014, 06:26 AM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,584,621 times
Reputation: 3810
Quote:
Originally Posted by CCc girl View Post
Our neighbors are a lovely couple in
Jack is a cantankerous geek from IBM in the sixties. I help with the computers. He's borderline diabetic and has back problems. He gets cranky and won't eat sometimes.

Gloria is a retired nurse. She keeps an eye on Jack, and for good reason, he's been in the hospital twice this year.

They live with their youngest son who is in his fifties. He's had a stroke, has kidney problems, and gout and is the delight of his Medicaid doctors, he's always off to a specialist.

His older brother is there most of the time unless they need him downstate where he and the youngest brother own a contractor business.

Jack and Gloria always have a houseful of family most weekends.

We visit about once a month. The youngest will show up with some eggs or sweet rolls from his mom when he needs to get away and visit. He spends his days feeding and managing their herd of Scottish Highland cattle and two draft horses.

When we were building the addition to the shop the boys came over and floated the new cement floor for us. Payment? Absolutely not. Hot coffee and cold beer all day, and two casseroles sent home with them.

When we had a big snowfall over this winter the oldest showed up on his loader and cleared the road up to the barn and the corral in front of the shop. I was working and DH was napping, I didn't even know until DH recognized the tracks from the machine.

When their garden comes in we will get the youngest with bags of tomatoes and zucchini, all he really wants is to shoot the bull for an hour or so.

Whenever they have car trouble Dh helps them out (retired master tech) and if they need parts I always get the call.

If they need parts and service manuals I find them on the net and load them on my flash drive to put on their pc's, no small feat for a 1958 Economy tractor.

Yeah, we love them.
wonderful post. Try to get this help in an urban area.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top