U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-21-2016, 11:32 AM
 
Location: Miraflores
783 posts, read 893,614 times
Reputation: 1531

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayarea4 View Post
My ex-husband used to say that he envied bisexuals because "they have twice as many chances for a date on Saturday night."
...and gay's immediately double their wardrobe!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-21-2016, 12:21 PM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,783 posts, read 4,833,476 times
Reputation: 19423
Quote:
Originally Posted by ReachTheBeach View Post
Even accepting that can mean different things to different people. One of the FWB situations ended because I asked for monogamy. She said I should not expect that since she told me she didn't want to be involved in a relationship at that point. I said there are still some things I refuse to stand in line for. That was pretty much the end of the friendship and the benefits.
Yep, that would end it for most I would think. The object of FWB is that your life is yours and theirs is theirs and placing those conditions or restrictions on the other person's behavior is the exact opposite of what the FWB arrangement is about. By asking for monogamy, you were preventing her from possibly finding a person who might have been a romantic match for her. Friends don't get to tell their friends who to sleep with.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-21-2016, 12:48 PM
 
Location: NC Piedmont
3,911 posts, read 2,878,179 times
Reputation: 6291
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
Yep, that would end it for most I would think. The object of FWB is that your life is yours and theirs is theirs and placing those conditions or restrictions on the other person's behavior is the exact opposite of what the FWB arrangement is about. By asking for monogamy, you were preventing her from possibly finding a person who might have been a romantic match for her. Friends don't get to tell their friends who to sleep with.
I meant we had to stop as soon as either of us was got involved with someone else, though I admittedly wasn't looking and was hoping she would decide she didn't need to either. There was also a specific circumstance that prompted the discussion. I was prepared for "it's getting serious with this guy so back to just friends" but instead it was "I am going away with him this weekend, so can we reschedule?".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-21-2016, 01:19 PM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,783 posts, read 4,833,476 times
Reputation: 19423
I get it. And actually I was there in the past. At some point one party either finds a love interest and wants to be monogamous with that new person, or one of the FWB gets romantic feelings for the other and gets jealous of the other's dates. It's a tricky road to travel, and since you said you got your heart broken, I can see it just couldn't work for you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-22-2016, 06:05 AM
 
Location: NC Piedmont
3,911 posts, read 2,878,179 times
Reputation: 6291
One thing was different from the FWB scenarios most are discussing. We went from friends to dating to what seemed to be emotionally and physically serious before she wanted to back off and just be friends yet still continue the physical. It was almost a back handed compliment - "That was amazing but you're not." But at some level, I thought maybe it was just putting the brakes on making a commitment just yet. But as I mentioned earlier, I went down that path a couple of times. The other time was a coworker at my first "real" job who was very up front about wanting nothing more than a FWB. She also felt that we should be monogamous and break it off if one of us got involved. I still developed feelings and so did she to some degree but then it became apparent that we really had a lot of differences. I thought we could resolve them but she didn't (in retrospect, I had blinders on and she was right). So it went from a working FWB situation to a broken relationship.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2019, 10:03 PM
 
Location: Union County NJ
191 posts, read 159,961 times
Reputation: 176
Default seeking

Senior men, I believe, are still interested in sex, even if limited. But, finding a similar mature lady
seems difficult. No, sign ups are not trustworthy...........maybe there should be forums ???
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2019, 02:35 AM
 
4,432 posts, read 2,611,082 times
Reputation: 10304
Quote:
Originally Posted by John S. View Post
Senior men, I believe, are still interested in sex, even if limited. But, finding a similar mature lady
seems difficult. No, sign ups are not trustworthy...........maybe there should be forums ???
There may be plenty of mature women looking. But i have found as i have aged, that many women dont have the interest or drive they used to have before menopause and when they wanted children.

Plus, many women have had hysterectomies and that changes dynamics for them.

Women complain of pain during sex after menopause.

Mens abilities diminish as they age too, and then theres that fantasies in advance of the event, and fantasies rarely meet reality. Viagra, cialis and levitra have given men a new life, and they are working on one for women.

Yes, perhaps there should be a sex after 50 forum, but what would it accomplish? What does this thread accomplish? Some people will complain about no sex, others are still enjoying it, or have found new ways to enjoy it. Others are not interested period. And young people do not want to hear of "old people and sex" in the same sentence.

I think all of us are looking for what we found interesting and attractive as we did in our sexual growth and formative years, and that may be why they are so many "dirty old men" or "cougar women" chasing after younger ones.

FWB is only a benifit if it stays that way...no strings, no commitments, no expectations, just a mutual interest in temporary satisfaction of sexual needs.

There is no easy answer.

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2019, 03:27 AM
 
Location: Mount Airy, Maryland
10,460 posts, read 5,926,819 times
Reputation: 16156
I have never heard of FWB working, one party always wants more.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2019, 05:30 AM
 
Location: The Outer Limits
1,462 posts, read 1,815,134 times
Reputation: 2395
70+ and still going strong.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2019, 06:31 AM
 
2,096 posts, read 712,911 times
Reputation: 5360
Quote:
Originally Posted by galaxyhi View Post
Women complain of pain during sex after menopause.
Premarin cream is miraculous. Not cheap, but miraculous.

I'm 66 and still haven't figured out my current relationship- definitely beyond FWB, and agreed upon monogamy, but neither of us is interested in getting married again. He lives a little over an hour away and we both have good lives where we are. He still works so we see each other only on weekends. We have a lot of common interests, long discussions over meals and great sex. I should mention that I was the one who brought the subject up on the 3rd date; we were midway between our homes and it was clear we weren't headed there but I asked him where he was on the spectrum between "not on the 3rd date" and "that part of my life is over". After he recovered from the shock I think he was delighted with the question and I was delighted with his answer.


Not sure where it's going but I'm enjoying the ride.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top