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Old 06-21-2014, 11:00 AM
Location: Chicago area
14,407 posts, read 7,932,198 times
Reputation: 53540


My husband retired a year ago at 56 and he says he's never been happier. His take home from his pension is actually more now then when he was working. I'm the one having major anxiety about retirement. Working for me is a love hate relationship. I've always been high octane and the thought of looking at the four walls drives me crazy, yet I hate going to work every day. Transitioning from workaholic to retired status will be very difficult for me. John and I are polar opposites. He's perfectly happy being a lazy bum. I don't know how I'm going to do it.
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Old 06-21-2014, 04:48 PM
Location: Central Massachusetts
4,800 posts, read 4,851,516 times
Reputation: 6379
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
golfingduo, I'm looking forward to showing you how easy the transition can be if you move to a place with the infrastructure in place to never allow you to be bored, if that is your desire. Some of the neighbors here tell me they have never been so busy in their lives and wake up everyday feeling blessed to live where we do. I enjoy being not quite that busy, but enjoying the ability to wake up with options to be as busy or as lazy as I want to be. I hope you guys do make it here next year to check it out. No matter what your interests, there are plenty of opportunities to engage here.

That is what I am hoping for a place that has enough to do that I cannot possibly get bored. I will let you know when I will head out that way for a visit. You are in an area that is high on my list. There are a number of you wonderful TNers here.
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Old 06-21-2014, 09:21 PM
466 posts, read 290,990 times
Reputation: 1809
Originally Posted by CCc girl View Post
Careers that lasted thirty plus years with the same firm are such a rarity now, that was like for our parents and grandparents, us not so much?
I've been with the same company for 36 years now and am not yet ready to retire. I know I am one of the last of a dying breed! I do wonder about what I will do when I retire. At this point I just want to be able to sleep in . I have a couple of years to figure it out. Spent most of my life so far raising my kids and putting my needs/wants aside. I'll have a couple of years of an empty nest to figure it before I retire, though. Used to love to paint/draw/write. Taking guitar lessons now, maybe I'll start hanging out at the local blues bar with the rest of the old musicians (if I ever get good enough to play in public!). I love to do home improvement projects so I'll continue doing that. Travel, who knows what else?
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Old 06-21-2014, 09:43 PM
Location: Sacramento
13,784 posts, read 23,815,442 times
Reputation: 6195
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
Because the work is missing. The golf and the walking were ways to unwind from work. But once work is gone, where are the challenges, the satisfactions of meeting them, the chance to make a difference in a positive way, the socialization on a daily basis?
Well, you can find alternative activities and discover new interest.

My volunteer work with the police over the past 6 years has opened up a whole new world of learning and interest in stuff I was never previously involved in, and allowed me to propose some ways that volunteers can enhance their contributions to the organizational goals. Doing this in a more limited way (especially time wise) than when working has allowed the satisfaction of still making a contribution and having ongoing affiliations (and some limited friendships) yet also precludes me from having to attend endless mind numbing meetings and playing organizational games.

I understand the article's main point, and don't really disagree with what is stated. I just knew that defining oneself by their job didn't really make too much sense while working, so despite my substantial career efforts I never really "became my job".

I have to say that in addition to volunteering a couple of days a week that all of the entertainment available really makes retirement a lot of fun for me, be it learning and fooling around with iPad apps, exploring the internet, or watching one of the 500+ cable channels (not to mention all of the additional stuff on smart TVs), and I have difficulty being lost or bored.

Going out with my wife for an ice cream sundae on a warm sunny Thursday afternoon is something I never could do when working, along with taking a nice stroll in one of our many quaint surrounding small towns.
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Old 06-22-2014, 02:40 AM
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,612 posts, read 39,986,663 times
Reputation: 23757
Pretty Shallow story, written from a pretty shallow perspective (Sounds like advice from my ex-bosses )

"bring their work home with them have the most difficulty in retirement"
Sure, you may live longer by retiring from a stressful job that was either physically or mentally taxing, but that doesn't mean you will live healthier. Your chances of becoming addicted to alcohol, narcotics or prescription pills actually increase.

Chances are great, that if you lived such a selfish and focused life, as to bring your work home, you probably excluded your spouse and family, and are closer to your grave, than to a happy retirement (And you won't be featured in Part 2).

Sure we all have had bouts with this in 'real-life'career', but life is a whole lot bigger than Y-O-U, as is retirement,. Many of the type spoken of never grow up to realize the world does not revolve around them! Think how many burnt out people and destroyed lives would have been saved if they had found this out at age 20...

Maybe they never got a good spanking, or worse yet, had a parent involved in the same selfishness.

I so regret the many games / practices / plays / concerts / recitals / birthdays / graduations / weddings / funerals that I missed due to work. I was purposed to make it, but usually overseas or sitting in an airport with a delayed flight.

Treasure your moments and make each one of value to someone else! There are enough needs to pass around.

I didn't make it 100% or even 80%, but retirement has not been anguishing one minute over missing my job or the useless activities spent there! I did have the best possible work group, and miss them! NONE of them suffered 'work-withdrawal' Our employer had us engaged in the community, and mentoring others, from day one. So goes it 10 yrs into retirement.

Another famous saying of an ex-boss; "you can be replaced!" and my reply "I hope you are looking!".

Retire early... retire often. Practice makes perfect!
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Old 06-22-2014, 04:24 AM
29,782 posts, read 34,880,403 times
Reputation: 11705
Stealth hits on a key successful retirement transition strategy. No natter how impactful your job was you can be replaced so allow it cherish it and move on. Perhaps the greatest gift of retirement is mentioned by a others and that is the freedom of time you now have. Naps are good so make them plentiful and if you should find yourself bored cherish the free time that made it possible and nod off for a few. There will be many Napless days to make up for.
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Old 06-22-2014, 07:32 AM
2,677 posts, read 2,201,152 times
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I guess it depends upon how much of your identity is tied up in your job.

When the guy who had my mail route before me retired, he spent the first few weeks hanging around on the route, and having lunch with the usual coworkers. Then he realized it was kinda creepy I guess and stopped.

He didn't want to retire. The PO made an addition to his route that his knees just couldn't handle.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:42 AM
29,782 posts, read 34,880,403 times
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Originally Posted by ByeByeLW View Post
I guess it depends upon how much of your identity is tied up in your job.

When the guy who had my mail route before me retired, he spent the first few weeks hanging around on the route, and having lunch with the usual coworkers. Then he realized it was kinda creepy I guess and stopped.

He didn't want to retire. The PO made an addition to his route that his knees just couldn't handle.
What I think is critical is your job identity. I had a very strong one but most of that was on the part of other people identifying me that way. Because of that in the minds of others they thought I couldn't retire without going bonkers. Hmm what I found by transplanting was that 95 percent of that identity got left behind. As I interacted with folks from the old days their struggle was placing me in a context they could handle. Thus as many others have shared they say when asked the forever asked question "Whatever I want to do"!
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Old 06-22-2014, 03:55 PM
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,497,588 times
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Originally Posted by golfingduo View Post
You are right! That is quick. It isnt about money or saving money in the strict sence of the word. It is about planning and finding something that makes you happy.

So many of us here are woe is me and how can I do this instead of looking at it from a different point of view hense the "retire happily ever after" in the title. I have a hard time understanding some of the grumpiness. From Curmdgeon [sic] I get that. Some people are too quick to fly off the handle so instead of worrying about money maybe we should plan our happiness. Money cannot buy happiness though it makes a fine start if you have it. What we do with our lives is what brings us happiness.
I think that's some acknowledgement that I am not fond of nor do I buy into "The sky is falling" articles, posts, comments, etc. If so then golfingduo is quite correct. But perhaps I'm just stricken with a Pollyannaish approach to life. If that's not what he alluded to then regardless, I'm going to forge ahead anyway.

The article is quite correct in that retirement planning should encompass far more than mere money although, clearly, that's an important factor. But there is far more to life than just that and to me, much of it is far more important.

Of all the author of the article wrote about I actually find this to be the most compelling:
I'll leave you with a big hint - it starts with your spouse.
Now no article of this sort is complete without an in-depth discussion of rodents and humanoids. While he alluded to them he only addressed avoidable issues. That leaves a big blank unmentioned and unexplored which is Robert Burns sage observation that [i]The best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley[/quote] (are oft going astray).

I worked for my last state for 25 years. At almost exactly the half-way point my former wife left me - more verdant fescue on the other side of the divide and all that - and ultimately, half of my pension fund and 401(k) left with her. In retrospect, the divorce would have been cheap at twice the price and almost was as she emptied all our bank accounts on her way out and I ended up paying high of $2,000 to a low of $800 a month in support payments over the the next 12 years. A few years later I remarried. My wife also worked for the state and had her own pension fund but medical issues caused her to have to retire early after only 15 years of state employment which reduced both her pension and Social Security considerably. All of these were unforeseen circumstances.

Fast forward to my retirement six years after my wife's. It went swimmingly. We spent a last nine months where we were adjusting to mutual retirement and, being together 24/7 while we fine-tuned our ultimate plans to move, purchase a home then set about exploring our new and surrounding states while indulging in nature photography. Those plans came off without a hitch. I was 63 and my wife was two years younger. We also traveled to visit children and grandchildren in our former and other states, worked on the house to make it totally ours, landscaped and enjoyed life on the shore of a large lake.

Fast forward again another few years and those plans of mice and men fell apart. I was hit with a major neurological disorder which, if we'd ignored it, would have paralyzed me at best; killed me at worse. Meanwhile my wife experienced deficits of her own still not fully resolved, nor are mine, so a mere four years into joint retirement our plans fell apart. That was both unplanned for and unavoidable.

I think there are two lessons here. Make hay while the sun shines and expect the unexpected. Perhaps the author will touch on these in his next installment.

Oh yes. And about spouses. We are so grateful that after five years of friendship we finally came together and have one another to lean on, support and enjoy. Between the two of us we almost make one whole person but as long as we are together, we're OK. For those of you who are married, don't ever take one another for granted! You should be one another's greatest gift.
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Old 06-22-2014, 04:08 PM
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,747,361 times
Reputation: 32309
^^^^^ Well, Curmudgeon, I'm glad you responded because I was greatly mystified as to why the OP would take a gratuitous swipe at you, especially as he was answering my post, not yours, when he did so and you hadn't even posted yet in this thread. (Maybe the thought was that the best defense is a good preemptive attack??) But I decided not to say anything because I know you are a big boy and can speak for yourself.
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