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Old 06-23-2014, 06:29 AM
 
Location: Columbia SC
8,981 posts, read 7,749,631 times
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I was always a very social person. While I can and do enjoy my private time, I much prefer to be with people. Since I retired (2004 at age 62) I play golf 3 times per week (Tue, Fri, Sun) with a group of about 40 fellows. 10 or so stay for drinks and lunch after. Usually one afternoon a week I go to the club and practice some for a few hours.

2 to 3 days a week I run errands. They are usually make busy stuff and I do so alone. Like today I will go out to breakfast 11AM. Read the newspaper. Then visit a golf shop and a big box hardware store plus pick a few things up at the grocery store on the way home. Probably get home about 3-4PM. Do whatever until 5PM which is cocktail hour.

My wife is more a stay home. Read, work puzzles, play games on the computer. She visits her Mother two afternoons per week but other then that she sticks close to the house. I would go stir crazy but that is the life she enjoys.

I rarely ever spend an entire day in the house.

So my advice is MAKE BUSY.
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Old 06-23-2014, 06:59 AM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,935,948 times
Reputation: 6716
Quote:
Originally Posted by TuborgP View Post
You and my wife both with salmon, she like you is indifferent to cost and I am becoming less price conscious.
I'm not totally indifferent to cost. I buy sockeye salmon and similar (like halibut) at Costco ($12.99/pound this week versus $20+/pound at Whole Foods). No reason to throw money out the window if you don't have to . Robyn
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Old 06-23-2014, 07:44 AM
 
29,782 posts, read 34,876,173 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Robyn55 View Post
I'm not totally indifferent to cost. I buy sockeye salmon and similar (like halibut) at Costco ($12.99/pound this week versus $20+/pound at Whole Foods). No reason to throw money out the window if you don't have to . Robyn
I know you shop Costco we both do they appreciate our business. Sometimes she buys at Whole Foods amdnInjust cringe
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Old 06-23-2014, 10:17 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,492,863 times
Reputation: 29076
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow View Post
I more or less retired at 53. I've had some part time, low wage, jobs but never a 'real' job. I have taught ESL to adults. And volunteered at the shelter. I write. I have done a lot of work on my house and there's still lots to do. I have plenty to keep me as busy as I wish to be.

My laziness is cyclical. One of the biggest retirement revelations for me was figuring out how much of my life had been spent doing things I had to do VS wanted to do. It wasn't JUST work, it was elder care, husband care, friend care, and just general responsibilities. So much of my life was doing all the things I was supposed to do. I was always the one who took care of everything and everyone. Time was my enemy. There were never enough hours in the day.

I retired and moved 2500 miles cross country alone. For the first time in my adult life, I had no one to take care of or consider but me. It took me a lot of time to figure out I could do anything or nothing. I could read for 24 hours straight. Or spend the whole day doing nothing but playing with the dogs. I could learn to make gelato. Watch trash television. There was no one telling me what I had to do.

Sometimes I get up and literally do nothing productive all day long. Then when I get disgusted by my lack of progress on my umpteen projects, I get motivated, put in some hard work and maybe even complete a few things. Then the process starts over again. Laziness followed by progress. And that's OK. I guess I earned it.

My friends are still around only now it's an e-mail or a phone call. They are all still working and very busy. The H who might not have been my H for much longer, dropped dead. All the parents are gone too. I am lonely some times. I miss the forced social interaction of having to go to work and see people every day. I even miss the structure in my life at times.

Change is inevitable. I still have a bunch of things to work on. I have a new and different SO to get to know better who likes to take care of *me*. All in all, it's good. Not always easy, but good!
I like your style. One of the biggest benefits of retirement was not just leaving the job, which was challenging and could even be fun at times, but leaving the regimentation. Both my life and my wife's - same profession, different agencies - were *ruled* by the legislative calendar which decreed when we might be able to take some time off so long as we could be called and emailed but also our hours; mine especially as I was a salaried manager. Days routinely ran to 10 or more hours, call-backs were fairly common and weekend work, mostly at home, was almost a given. We had to be available to our departments, both houses and several committees of the Legislature and for me, the Governor's Office as well.

Enter retirement! The only regimentation is the dictates of Mother Nature telling us when to sow, when to thin, how much to water and when to harvest our various vegetables growing in several gardens. We've looked at other involvements and while supportive of our semi-rural community have not sought to become actively involved. We love to go and explore, especially on week days when the traffic is at its lightest. That's also when we shop while others are stuck at work. Thus far that has sustained us. We find it very freeing.

Since we've both developed some physical impairments we do care for one another and see doing so as acts of love rather than burdens. Could it be that in the final analysis, much of what constitutes retirement is actually a state of mind?
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Old 06-23-2014, 02:40 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,890 posts, read 25,331,777 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brightdoglover View Post
I would like to see more posts from people who are not part of a "we," like yellowsnow. As much as I look forward to not working for every reason, I am accustomed to some work friendships and conversations, and it has become my community of sorts. I fear my own tendency toward isolation in the first place, so while anticipating giving up the stressful and very unrewarding aspects of my job, I do worry about losing the somewhat sense of community that showing up gives me.
As for "identity," fergit it. I'll leave smoke when I go out the door for the last time on that.
I found that being aware of the tendency makes it easier to deal with. Now I automatically remind myself it's been X days since you went out. You haven't talked to anyone but the dogs and telemarketers for X days. Time to get out and do something!

Tonight I'm going to the Drive In to see Jersey Boys. I haven't been to a movie in at least 10 years. Looking forward to it but I'm sure it will be hot!
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Old 06-24-2014, 06:12 AM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,935,948 times
Reputation: 6716
Quote:
Originally Posted by TuborgP View Post
She's accomplished, not sure what she scored but yes a bucket list thing. I was surprised her husband didn't play. He just said he didn't.
Sometimes even spouses who are close have different bucket lists. I had a golf thing on my bucket list - walking the Stadium Course at the TPC here alone with my own personal caddy. My husband was 100% not interested in doing this. And - in any event - I wanted to do it alone (when women play with guys - they sometimes get neglected). So I did it - about 4 years ago (only managed to walk 9 holes though - it was 90+ - and the caddy and I jumped into a cart for the back 9). Robyn
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Old 06-24-2014, 06:18 AM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,935,948 times
Reputation: 6716
Quote:
Originally Posted by JRR View Post
I do some trading. Sometimes I will sell the same day; sometimes hold for a bit longer. I look for the stocks with the largest % down first thing out of the gate each day and decide if I think that the market is overreacting. I never have been a chart person. An example is DreamWorks when it dropped on the box office results for How to Train Your Dragon 2. I picked up 1500 shares on Monday and got out on Wednesday with a little over $1500 profit.
Interesting approach. I used to day trade some years back - especially in the summer when it was miserable outside. Then I realized I was making at best about 20 cents an hour doing it. So I went back to my longer term trend trading. I'm making more money - but it doesn't kill as many hours as day trading. I guess different strokes for different folks. Robyn
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Old 06-24-2014, 06:22 AM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,935,948 times
Reputation: 6716
Quote:
Originally Posted by TuborgP View Post
I know you shop Costco we both do they appreciate our business. Sometimes she buys at Whole Foods amdnInjust cringe
I've become less than thrilled with Whole Foods. Prices are - as you point out - very high - and the quality of the produce is often mediocre. I do however love the sausages there - and the desserts. We're getting a Trader Joe's in a couple of months. Have never shopped in one before. Hope it's good. Robyn
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Old 06-24-2014, 06:24 AM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,935,948 times
Reputation: 6716
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow View Post
I found that being aware of the tendency makes it easier to deal with. Now I automatically remind myself it's been X days since you went out. You haven't talked to anyone but the dogs and telemarketers for X days. Time to get out and do something!

Tonight I'm going to the Drive In to see Jersey Boys. I haven't been to a movie in at least 10 years. Looking forward to it but I'm sure it will be hot!
A drive-in - how "retro". Sounds like fun . Was it? Robyn
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Old 06-24-2014, 08:34 AM
JRR
 
Location: Middle Tennessee
3,679 posts, read 2,227,855 times
Reputation: 5230
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robyn55 View Post
Interesting approach. I used to day trade some years back - especially in the summer when it was miserable outside. Then I realized I was making at best about 20 cents an hour doing it. So I went back to my longer term trend trading. I'm making more money - but it doesn't kill as many hours as day trading. I guess different strokes for different folks. Robyn
I like the fact that what I do doesn't take much time. I buy within the first 10 minutes, slap in a GTC sell order and then move along with my day. I then can watch the market as much or as little as I want. Doing day trading, being glued to the screen for second by second stock movements, would drive me crazy.
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