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Old 06-23-2014, 11:22 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
21,554 posts, read 44,151,950 times
Reputation: 15179

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Quote:
Originally Posted by in_newengland View Post
What an amazing coincidence.
The word Serendipity (as in The Movie) comes to mind. What are the chances a CS rep is the daughter of your long-lost first love - and asks you about it, yet??? Five million to one - at least.

Wow - I, too, am waiting for the rest of this story.
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Old 06-23-2014, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,189 posts, read 8,718,429 times
Reputation: 6217
Smile Dressing for the evening

Go with pants, jacket, etc or a nice blouse with pants.

Go to Nordstroms for your shoes - they have everything!
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Old 06-23-2014, 01:51 PM
 
Location: Virginia
95 posts, read 202,347 times
Reputation: 53
[quote=StressedOutNYer;35353986]Popping in "between" dress-hunting. ;-)

I too am looking forward to hearing about your meeting.

Serendipity..... one of my favorite words.

Even if it's just a stroll down memory lane, the story of how you found each other again is amazing!
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Old 06-24-2014, 09:54 AM
 
Location: Glenbogle
730 posts, read 1,031,190 times
Reputation: 1047
Quote:
Originally Posted by ukiyo-e View Post
So, you're going to present yourself in a way that's totally opposite of who you really are and how you always dress? Do you intend to continue dressing that way after it gets his attention? If not, just wear nice pants and a fancier top than usual.
I'm looking at it more as dressing to suit what I regard as a special occasion than for any kind of deceit or attention-getting. Just like for DS's wedding.

I enjoyed wearing dresses and skirts when my lifestyle suited it, but it hasn't for a couple of decades. I simply don't go places or do things that call for that kind of clothing (I have no inclination to wear a dress or skirt to go to the grocery store or the library, for instance, and certainly not around the house or garden). When I was working and socializing I did wear them, more often than not; but then my lifestyle (and footwear, lol) changed drastically and so did my usual clothing.

Here's a question for you: Many women who have had breast cancer end up having either a single or double mastectomy but without reconstructive surgery. Instead they wear prostheses (or as some call them, "foobs" - fake boobs, LOL). Is a woman who wears them presenting herself in a way that is somehow dishonest? Suppose she normally doesn't wear them but if she goes on a job interview (where appearance is important) she does wear them, in order to appear to her best physical advantage? If she's single, what about if she wears them when she goes on first (or early) dates? Is that presenting herself in a deceptive way? Just curious, sorry about it veering off topic. ;-)
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Old 06-24-2014, 10:13 AM
 
Location: Glenbogle
730 posts, read 1,031,190 times
Reputation: 1047
Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold View Post
With that in mind, make sure it's a dress you'll have other occasions to wear for.
Which is exactly what I ended up with, LOL. I absolutely was not looking for anything girly-frilly (because at my age I think girly-frilly is, well, silly ) and finally found a simple solid-color blue (fairly close to the same color blue in the "forum" circular logo in fact) short sleeved linen dress with a trim white collar around a sweetheart neckline. Very tailored, and fitted enough to show that yes I do still have a waist, LOL.

Ironically, after fruitless looking in all the mall stores I decided on a whim to stop at a small dress shop in the town next to where I used to live. I was always under the impression that all they had were after-five things... you know, those dresses with enough rhinestones plastered on the front to poke someone's eye out. Or prom dresses. I'd checked it out when looking for my MotG dress and couldn't remember if they had daytime clothing as well. So what the heck. Turns out that they do have a small back section with some sample clothing that is not 'after five' and that's where I found it. Sometimes it does pay to play a hunch, lol
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Old 06-24-2014, 11:29 AM
 
Location: Southern New Hampshire
7,270 posts, read 12,726,961 times
Reputation: 22154
Quote:
Originally Posted by StressedOutNYer View Post
I'm looking at it more as dressing to suit what I regard as a special occasion than for any kind of deceit or attention-getting. Just like for DS's wedding.

I enjoyed wearing dresses and skirts when my lifestyle suited it, but it hasn't for a couple of decades. I simply don't go places or do things that call for that kind of clothing (I have no inclination to wear a dress or skirt to go to the grocery store or the library, for instance, and certainly not around the house or garden). When I was working and socializing I did wear them, more often than not; but then my lifestyle (and footwear, lol) changed drastically and so did my usual clothing.
OP, I say if you want to wear a dress on a first date, wear a dress!! Honestly, my usual clothes in the summer when I am on break are shorts and a t-shirt, but when my SO is up and we go out, I wear something nicer. Who says we can't wear different clothes for different things? (Actually it would be weird if we DIDN'T!) Somehow I don't think that seeing you in a dress will make him think that you ALWAYS wear dresses.

Quote:
Originally Posted by StressedOutNYer View Post
Here's a question for you: Many women who have had breast cancer end up having either a single or double mastectomy but without reconstructive surgery. Instead they wear prostheses (or as some call them, "foobs" - fake boobs, LOL). Is a woman who wears them presenting herself in a way that is somehow dishonest? Suppose she normally doesn't wear them but if she goes on a job interview (where appearance is important) she does wear them, in order to appear to her best physical advantage? If she's single, what about if she wears them when she goes on first (or early) dates? Is that presenting herself in a deceptive way? Just curious, sorry about it veering off topic. ;-)
I think that's a really interesting question. Most people try to present themselves very well on at least the first date (although I have dated a few notable exceptions! ), but at some point if the relationship is going somewhere you have to just relax and be yourself. But as for having "those" conversations -- "I have fake boobs," "I can't have kids" (doesn't really apply in the Retirement forum, but still), "I have an STD," "I have false teeth," 'I wear a toupee," etc. -- I don't think there IS a right time, you just kind of have to play it by ear. I had a friend in Ann Arbor who didn't tell her boyfriend she had herpes until they were close to being engaged ... he was so stunned he left her, but then he came back a couple of days later, and they are now married (actually >10 years now) -- my point is that for him, being THAT far into the relationship felt really late to be hearing something he considered to be important (but he got over it!).

Not sure if I answered the question ... but back to your OP -- I too am looking forward to updates! Have you talked/emailed/texted with him since making the date? I think the anticipation would be killing me! (And not to be a downer, but I've had relationships with 2 men after decades apart, and both were disasters but for very different reasons. Sometimes they work out great, but sometimes we get our hopes up SO high that the reality simply can't match our ideals. Not saying you're doing that, but it is very very easy to fall into that -- I know, I've done it myself!)
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Old 06-24-2014, 12:04 PM
 
491 posts, read 599,804 times
Reputation: 2095
You might enjoy reading: Lost and Found Lovers by Kolish. I read it in the late 90's, so that is all the info I have on it. It was a thesis turned into a small book on how well getting together with an old beau turned out(actually very well). It was a good read.
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Old 06-24-2014, 12:10 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,024,159 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by StressedOutNYer View Post

Here's a question for you: Many women who have had breast cancer end up having either a single or double mastectomy but without reconstructive surgery. Instead they wear prostheses (or as some call them, "foobs" - fake boobs, LOL). Is a woman who wears them presenting herself in a way that is somehow dishonest? Suppose she normally doesn't wear them but if she goes on a job interview (where appearance is important) she does wear them, in order to appear to her best physical advantage? If she's single, what about if she wears them when she goes on first (or early) dates? Is that presenting herself in a deceptive way? Just curious, sorry about it veering off topic. ;-)
There is no right or wrong answer, imo. A woman should feel comfortable physically and psychologically when going out. It's no different than a smaller-busted woman wearing a little padding. It's no different than wearing makeup and jewelry in being with others.

BTW, isn't tonight the big night??? We will want a full report in the morning.
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Old 06-24-2014, 12:12 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,024,159 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by StressedOutNYer View Post
Which is exactly what I ended up with, LOL. I absolutely was not looking for anything girly-frilly (because at my age I think girly-frilly is, well, silly ) and finally found a simple solid-color blue (fairly close to the same color blue in the "forum" circular logo in fact) short sleeved linen dress with a trim white collar around a sweetheart neckline. Very tailored, and fitted enough to show that yes I do still have a waist, LOL.
Would love to see a pic! Even if you decide to put a bar across your face in the photo, lol.
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Old 06-24-2014, 01:49 PM
 
106 posts, read 112,955 times
Reputation: 298
I can't wait to hear the rest of the story too! I'm sure you'll have a lovely time reminiscing. The coincidence of your reunion is amazing.
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