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Old 07-02-2014, 04:49 PM
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,612 posts, read 9,676,241 times
Reputation: 10950


Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
What a sad mess. Prayers for your family that your sister will come to her senses and do what needs to be done to either lose weight and be in better shape to take care of herself - or get some assistance so she can live a healthier life.
Thanks. I wish she would "come to her senses" but this has been going on, and getting progressively worse, for at least four years now. I hadn't seen her in about eight years when I flew up the first week of Mar. and to say I was "shocked" would be an understatement. The kids have always kept us informed but to actually SEE what's going on...it's rough.
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Old 07-03-2014, 07:36 AM
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,923,045 times
Reputation: 6716
Originally Posted by MissSoBelle View Post
Wow. I've spent most of my 60's being a caregiver for my mother and father. My father is gone now, but my 89 year old mother can't live alone. She is of sound mind (a tad forgetful) and gets around with a cane, but there are too many things that she cannot do. After all, they spent their 20's and 30's taking care of me.
One has to draw lines in terms of what one will/won't do. I've been handling the finances/taxes/legal stuff for parents/inlaws for over a decade now. Have also dealt with many medical issues/conditions. Have also done things with them (lunch with my father - driving my late FIL around to see/do various things when he was a SNF resident - whatever). But I draw the line at being a maid/cook/personal attendant/etc. And I especially draw the line at taking care of anyone in my house (except for my husband - should that need never arise). I think these are very personal decisions - and this is my decision.

Note that both sets of parents had/have enough money to buy the personal care they needed/need. Don't know what I'd do if they couldn't afford to pay for these things (my husband and I each have 2 younger married siblings who have pretty much done nothing over the years - don't know whether they would chip in money to help our parents financially if they needed financial help). Robyn

P.S. My father is 96 - and could easily live to be 100+. Your mother is only 89. Think about how you might feel 5-10 years from now if you're in the situation you are today.
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Old 07-03-2014, 01:15 PM
Location: SoCal desert
8,093 posts, read 13,227,512 times
Reputation: 14870
Originally Posted by Mr5150 View Post
"for their own good"
Anytime a governmental agency or an employee of such says "It's for your own good", it's time to sever your relationship with that agency.

My definition of good has never been their definition of good.
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