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Old 07-12-2014, 01:41 PM
 
Location: New Mexico U.S.A.
25,329 posts, read 41,438,561 times
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- Been friends over 35 years.

- Talk on the phone about an hour once a week.

- Dearly love her.

My wife has this problem, she just devotes that time to a long time friend...

One of you will most likely die before the other. Then one would be left alone. Then what? Try to change the conversations. Recall different good times. Every time an old friend passes, I think of a lot of silly questions I should have asked them when I could.
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Old 07-13-2014, 12:27 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,618 posts, read 9,684,845 times
Reputation: 10965
Quote:
Originally Posted by Windwalker2 View Post
I love learning about life when my mother was growing up. She never talked much about it until she got very old and seemed to remember past times more than the present.
I've been hearing stories about my mom's life since I was about nine. I probably know more about her life than any of my siblings do and I've always found it interesting. She was born and raised in Australia and it's always fascinated me how they are educated and go to work a LOT earlier than we ever did. Her various jobs, her family and friends, how and where she met my dad, their five years of courtship and her trip to the US on a ship full of other War Brides. Sometimes her stories will start just because something we are talking about 'in the present' will bring it to mind. She repeats things a lot but it's okay.

I think older people think/talk more about the past just because they have so much more "past" than future. At least that's not ALL my mom talks about and she keeps up with the latest news, etc. better than a lot of younger people I know.
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Old 08-01-2014, 03:33 AM
 
Location: middle tennessee
1,924 posts, read 989,259 times
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I think tonight was the last straw in a friendship that has meant a lot to me.

It is a little after 4am. My friend called me at 2:30 and asked me to come to her house. Her problem was that her face was red and her ear was clicking.

My guess is that her problem was too much dr pepper after supper.

I have gone in the night a couple of times before when she needed to go to the hospital so I can't ignore her. She has always been an alarmist when it comes to her own health.

I am tired and sad.
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Old 08-01-2014, 05:45 AM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,580,382 times
Reputation: 3810
Quote:
Originally Posted by boogie'smom View Post
I think tonight was the last straw in a friendship that has meant a lot to me.

It is a little after 4am. My friend called me at 2:30 and asked me to come to her house. Her problem was that her face was red and her ear was clicking.

My guess is that her problem was too much dr pepper after supper.

I have gone in the night a couple of times before when she needed to go to the hospital so I can't ignore her. She has always been an alarmist when it comes to her own health.

I am tired and sad.
Why answer the phone at those ridiculous hours.
You do have a choice.
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Old 08-01-2014, 06:10 AM
 
Location: middle tennessee
1,924 posts, read 989,259 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmyhoss View Post
Why answer the phone at those ridiculous hours.
You do have a choice.
I also have family. Phone call at that hour and I am wide awake thinking it must be an emergency.

But I decided when I got home that I will look at the caller id before I answer again. I don't know if I will be able to ignore her. She is lonesome and worries about herself.

still makes me sad.

I regretted posting here (because it seemed inappropriate) as soon as I hit the button.
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Old 08-01-2014, 07:52 AM
 
Location: Over yonder a piece
3,910 posts, read 4,650,428 times
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My husband (late 40s) and his pals tell the same stories from the good old days whenever they get together. I can't tell you how many times I've heard about their antics from the early 1990s.

My grandmother (who lived to 99 and 11 months) did the same thing, but at least her stories were interesting to me because they were all Depression-era, WWII stuff that fascinated me. I didn't mind hearing those stories and at one point I recorded them all over a long dinner so that I could have them for posterity. I'm grateful I did it - about a month after I recorded them she passed away.

I agree with others who have said you should try to introduce NEW topics to talk about, or figure out a way to divert her from retelling the old stories somehow.
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Old 08-01-2014, 09:28 AM
 
32 posts, read 44,629 times
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To the OP I read through this thread and I find the responses only address your feelings. What about your friend if you were suddenly to drop her? That could be confusing and very hurtful. Is the whole idea of thinking of other's feelings antiquated? Really we all probably get boring at some time and you might be boring to others at times.

Real friendship means loving a person for who they are, not just dropping because they get on your nerves. That doesn't mean you shouldn't find ways to shorten phone calls, changing the subject, etc making the situation more tolerable for you.
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Old 08-01-2014, 09:43 AM
 
Location: middle tennessee
1,924 posts, read 989,259 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jardinbelle View Post
Real friendship means loving a person for who they are, not just dropping because they get on your nerves. That doesn't mean you shouldn't find ways to shorten phone calls, changing the subject, etc making the situation more tolerable for you.
I needed to hear this today I was so tired this morning.

I hope I have friends who will tolerate me when I become even more aggravating than I am now.

My cordless phone is worn out. I bought it back when the children were away and lonesome and I didn't have time to sit in one spot and visit. Time to replace it.
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Old 08-01-2014, 10:17 AM
 
Location: NC
720 posts, read 1,485,508 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jlawrence01 View Post
My initial reaction is when you have friends from years ago, how do really keep a long on-going relationship when your lives are very different?

For example, if I call my high school buddy, the three topics are:

Have you seen any of our old classmates?
How are the wife and kids??
How is your practice gone?

Once you get past that, I don't have much else to talk about.
I was thinking the same thing. Without actual physical meetups and shared activities/outings,what is there to talk about?
I have this issue with a friend of 54 years. The friendship is valuable to me, but conversation is difficult.
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Old 08-01-2014, 10:28 AM
 
Location: SoCal desert
8,093 posts, read 13,234,579 times
Reputation: 14870
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jardinbelle View Post
To the OP I read through this thread and I find the responses only address your feelings. What about your friend if you were suddenly to drop her? That could be confusing and very hurtful. Is the whole idea of thinking of other's feelings antiquated? Really we all probably get boring at some time and you might be boring to others at times.
Because the OP is the one who posted.
If the friend comes in and posts, her feelings would get addressed.
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