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NorthMeetsSouth...in answer to your question, we moved to the Southeast, easily made new friends, are living a more relaxed lifestyle, living pretty simply, and are still active with our writing careers, and don't regret moving from our large metro area. Life is a smaller town suits us just fine.
Loved cities in my younger days but after a while they just seemed to be a hassle, noisy, crowded and not as much fun. Great for culture, though. But walking on the beach teaches me a lot, too.
We've been working so much for so many years that I sometimes wonder if I will be able to remember how to slow down, relax, and make some friends. I feel like I ought to find a new place to retire to and maybe get a part-time job or do some volunteer work just to ease into the transition of having free time.
I read this forum on retirement and I am always so encouraged that there will be lots to do once we make the plunge!
We've been working so much for so many years that I sometimes wonder if I will be able to remember how to slow down, relax, and make some friends.
A lot of people feel strange for the first month or so. Here's an idea that worked for my friend:
The first thing she did when she retired was start to write a book about "how to retire." She wanted to record all the useful tips she had collected.
The first week or so, she worked at a gung-ho pace. In fact, she probably wrote half the book during that first week.
Then she realized she needed to go to the library to look up some statistics. And when she got to the library she realized she now had time to read some magazines she had never looked at before. On her way home, she stopped at the park and got some information about taking classes.
In the second week, she still worked on the book but she also began to find new ways to spend her time. When her friends asked her what she was doing with hre retirement, she told them about the book. This led into several interesting conversations with all sorts of people, and she began making new friends. The friends, in turn, invited her to lunch or to take walks, etc.
One time she needed to do some research at a local history museum. She saw a sign that they needed volunteer docents--and soon she was busy at the museum. The other volunteers were also retirees and she began doing activities with them, too.
After a few more weeks, she only worked on the book from time to time. It was the perfect project to get her through the transition. It got her out into the community (which is important--don't just stay inside watching the tv). Best of all it was an interesting project, and she was glad to give the information to other family members who could use it.
I'm a boomer. This sounds like the old cliche with the half of glass of water, is it half full or half empty. Pessimist or optimist. I'll put myself in uncharted territory since this is a new thread. I'm in the middle, a little young and a little old. It's a good feeling because I have 35 year old friends and 75 year old friends. LOL
My thoughts exactly. I am a white female in my early 50's (1954) - most people think I am around 40 and my husband too. Maybe it's working all the time, being self employed but most of our friends are in their early 40's!!
Reading this just brought tears to my eyes. Currently going through a life changing divorce...I have had many bad days lately.
What is the meaning of life I've asked myself over and over. If I can;t please everyone, if I hurt someone, if I get hurt, what is it all for...what if I don't do anything amazing....What's the point I've asked.
But you're right. Why does it have to be about the meaning? It doesn't...it really is just about the ride...just try to enjoy life everyday....thats it.
I was at a media conference about baby boomers in New York recently and they had a number of baby boomer experts presenting information (e.g.; did you know 1 out of 3 adults alive today are baby boomers?). Anyway, this guy asked a very provocative question - do you think your best days lie ahead of you, or have you already seen your best days.
I would really like to hear how other people would answer this question ( i promise to give my answer, but later). Please qualify by saying if you are a boomer or not (born 1946 -1964)
Thanks
Boomer born in 1951....It's an interesting question for sure. From a physical standpoint I'm sure my better days are behind me but I could be much worse off so I am grateful for what I still have. But from the viewpoint of understanding life and beauty and nature and what is really important, I think I realize how far I have really come and that makes the future intriging to me. I noticed as my Dad grew older, he became more of an observer.... even when a stroke took away his ability to relate much back to me. I watched and saw how he still observed and appreciated what was happening....probably much like a blind person appreciates every sound that others never notice. Is it possible that what we lose in physical abilities....we gain in a sort of a renewed mental curiosity of why it's all here and thus, the enhanced possibility of taking the time to really "see" what we are looking at? So I guess I'm saying that the first part was better in a way(physical) than the second part could never be.....but the second part will be better in a way(mentally) that wasn't possible for me at that stage of life...
I am now 49 and all I do is think about what is past. I often look at my high school yearbook and other pictures and I look back at my life with a degree of dissappointment. Yes, it could have been worse but it could have been a whole hell of alot better too. I always think "if I had done this" or "if I had done that" maybe things would have been better. My little girl will finish high school and be gone next August to college. I will be left with nothing to look forward to but death. There are times I wish I could go back and do it all over again. There are other times when I hate it and would never ever want to do it again.
I went through something like you are describing around when I was 49 or 50. Had accomplished what I set out to do, my life plan, and then arrived at a "Now What" time. Still Alive So Now What? Really weird having to DECIDE what to do. If you think about it, you have accomplished what THEY told you to do, what was right. Went through a life review, beat myself up with regrets etc. Finally I found those "lost parts" of myself. You know those attitudes or characteristics I'd discarded cause somebody (spouse, kid, boss, neighbors, whoever) didn't approve. Came to appreciate myself and developed those parts that led to all the regrets I'd experienced. Feels really good too! Here is me and I like me! Wonderful.
[quote=Bugqueen;2706544] I went through something like you are describing around when I was 49 or 50. Had accomplished what I set out to do, my life plan, and then arrived at a "Now What" time. Still Alive So Now What? Really weird having to DECIDE what to do.
I think I am going through this now and this site has been filled with good posts and very informative, thoughful info. I have worked so hard most of my life I have not had the chance to cultivate friends like so many and I so regret this but I have had always to care financially for my parents - my mom is now 87 - my dad is gone - but I look forward to making friends in a community where all interact. My husband and I live in a great area but as we age, I am afraid we will feel out of place.
It's not like I accumulated a lot of things - it was always for someone else.
I hope my husband and I can make friends and have some real fun in the future! We are both healthy and I thank God for that. I, however, am blind in one eye and limited vision in the other but I consider myself healthy!
I went through something like you are describing around when I was 49 or 50. Had accomplished what I set out to do, my life plan, and then arrived at a "Now What" time. Still Alive So Now What? Really weird having to DECIDE what to do.
I think I am going through this now and this site has been filled with good posts and very informative, thoughful info. I have worked so hard most of my life I have not had the chance to cultivate friends like so many and I so regret this but I have had always to care financially for my parents - my mom is now 87 - my dad is gone - but I look forward to making friends in a community where all interact. My husband and I live in a great area but as we age, I am afraid we will feel out of place.
It's not like I accumulated a lot of things - it was always for someone else.
I hope my husband and I can make friends and have some real fun in the future! We are both healthy and I thank God for that. I, however, am blind in one eye and limited vision in the other but I consider myself healthy!
Boy... I know how you feel. I moved to GA 14 years ago and I have been so busy working all the time that I never took the time to develop much of a social life. I hope that when my husband and I move someplace to retire we are able to (and remember how to) make some friends and have a fun social life. I like working, but sometimes I think there must be more to life.
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Are your best days...
What a statement...thank you!
I went through something like you are describing around when I was 49 or 50. Had accomplished what I set out to do, my life plan, and then arrived at a "Now What" time. Still Alive So Now What? Really weird having to DECIDE what to do. If you think about it, you have accomplished what THEY told you to do, what was right. Went through a life review, beat myself up with regrets etc. Finally I found those "lost parts" of myself. You know those attitudes or characteristics I'd discarded cause somebody (spouse, kid, boss, neighbors, whoever) didn't approve. Came to appreciate myself and developed those parts that led to all the regrets I'd experienced. Feels really good too! Here is me and I like me! Wonderful.
