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Old 07-14-2014, 03:18 PM
 
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Someone posted something in another forum, and it started me thinking: When the time comes that we -- or our spouse -- or both -- are becoming more and more physically incapacitated, due to age and/or due to illness or injury -- what are our plans for that time? Or do we just not think about things like this?

What will we do if we can't drive, can't make our own meals (I've known elderly people who have a steady diet of frozen foods, defrosted in the microwave -- ugh)? Can't clean our house? Can't drive? Can't grocery shop? Especially those of us who are single and widowed. But this affects couples too.

I know a (widowed) woman who was in her living room recliner for three days before someone found her. Another (widowed) woman, with the beginnings of Alzheimer's, who was conscious and on her bathroom floor for 24 hours. A man who died, in his filthy apartment, and wasn't discovered for at least two days. An elderly couple -- with plenty of family -- who decided to take their own lives. I could go on but you get the picture.

Getting really old is going to be difficult for a lot of us.

I think I've just not wanted to think about this. I think I've always told myself that 'somehow I will manage'. But -- that probably is not going to happen.

If this has been discussed before, just ignore this. I don't know -- I haven't been around in quite a while.
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Old 07-14-2014, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
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Me personally, I hope to be dead before I have to go through this. But one never knows. It can happen to anyone but it hits home to me especially because I have no children to burden with my old age.
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Old 07-14-2014, 03:30 PM
 
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As my 82 year old neighbor says.... getting old isn't for wussies. But seriously, end of life is different for everybody and hopefully we've planned ahead enough so that our needs are met during the twilight years however no one knows the series of events that will take place in the final days of life and I don't really want to know.

Last edited by Starglow; 07-14-2014 at 03:59 PM..
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Old 07-14-2014, 03:38 PM
 
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I'm not sure I want to know either. The whole thought -- and memories -- kinda took the wind out of my sails. :-) (Not hard to do -- I have food poisoning too.)
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Old 07-14-2014, 04:08 PM
 
Location: Sierra Nevada Land, CA
8,419 posts, read 9,170,922 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fran66 View Post
I'm not sure I want to know either. The whole thought -- and memories -- kinda took the wind out of my sails. :-) (Not hard to do -- I have food poisoning too.)
Really old...what does that mean?

Some of my clients are really old, as you describe. They are in their 60s. Then there was this guy at the ski resort on the chair lift with me. He told me he started skiing when he retired at age 65. That was 15 years prior. We have this 93 year old lady, very active at church. As I was getting out of the car, she pulled into the space next to me.

With that said, the way medical and other technologies are progressing, being 90, 20 years from now is going to look a whole lot different than it does today. Take self driving cars as an example. They are expected to be available at an affordable price by 2020. I'll only be 70 in 2020. And I am doing stuff at my age that my parents would have thought a bit much when they were age 50. Took a mtn bike ride this morning.

So, between my faith in technology and God I am not going to worry about it. Heck, I could die before I buy my self driving car.

Last edited by Mr5150; 07-14-2014 at 05:36 PM..
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Old 07-14-2014, 04:18 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr5150 View Post
Really old...what does that mean?

Some of my clients are really old, as you describe. The are in their 60s. Then there was this guy at the ski resort on the chair lift with me. He told me he started skiing when he retired at age 65. That was 15 years prior. We have this 93 year old lady, very active at church. As I was getting out of the car, she pulled into the space next to me.

With that said, the way medical and other technologies are progressing, being 90, 20 years from now is going to look a whole lot different than it does today. Take self driving cars as an example. They are expected to be available at an affordable price by 2020. I'll only be 70 in 2020. And I am doing stuff at my age that my parents would have thought a bit much when they were age 50. Took a mtn bike ride this morning.

So, between my faith in technology and God I am not going to worry about it. Heck, I could die before I buy my self driving car.
I understand what you're saying -- I really do -- but unless a cure for Alzheimer's is found, being 85-90 isn't going to be great for a good percentage of us, even if we are in great physical shape. And even if we don't get Alzheimer's, by the time we are 85, 50% of us will need help with daily tasks such as getting dressed, taking a bath, etc. And that's the projection for the next 10-20 years. What good is an self-drive car if we can't get into it? Or if we don't know where we parked it? LOLOLOLOLOL (Sorry. LOLOLOL I know it's not funny -- but I have the giggles.)

While I don't like LT Care insurance at all and while I can't even imagine myself in Assisted Living -- what are we going to do when we can't get out of bed, on our own, in the morning? As it is -- and I'm not in bad shape -- it takes me a while to get up and going in the morning. (I'm 65 right now.) I volunteer, I take Tai Chi, I exercise almost every day, I have some projects I am working on -- I'm taking a big vacation in October -- life is good -- so far, so good. But it's not always going to be like this, for me. Or for any of us. And we just can't wait until it happens.
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Old 07-14-2014, 04:41 PM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
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We're going to visit our parents at the end of this week. It's always bittersweet; we love seeing them but it's sad to see them age. They have picture of themselves in a frame in the guest room where we sleep. They are in swimsuits at the beach. They look so young and vital, they are sixty and fifty-eight, newly retired and have a thirty years of good times ahead of them.

My parents always drove to SC in the spring and fall and a drive to see the leaves change in the Smokies. The last time was two years ago. Dad has macular degeneration and can still drive, but the long trips are over. Dad realizes his limitations. They use to fly, but had an emergency with the landing gear on a trip coming back from Hawaii to Chicago and they have never flown since.

My MIL is five years younger than my parents and decided to leave a car in FL this year and will fly back and forth now. Nothing like long trips in cars to make you realize you don't bounce back as quickly the older you get. She is babysitting the grands and great grands occasionally and we'll see her too. She's appreciative of any help around the house and outbuildings that we offer. My Dad will not take us up on offers to cut the grass or help with anything; we're company.

I met up with a group of spinner/weavers that I see once a month here. One member's husband had major aortic surgery and now has presented with an infection, one of the antibiotics put him in a temporary dementia until they took him off. They are very well off but he's self employed as a lawyer and what insurance isn't covering is flooring her. Another member who hasn't been there for a few months had tripped over a door jamb, fell and shattered her shoulder and broke her jaw. She's recovering, but she's 58 and in good shape. Well, she looks like she's in great shape but they told her the bone in her arm where they put plates looked like Swiss cheese. Her last bone density test was fine 16 months prior.

We don't have a plan for later yet. DH is still working so it's not in the forefront. After seeing my friends, I'm trying not to worry about now.

Last edited by jean_ji; 07-14-2014 at 05:00 PM..
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Old 07-14-2014, 05:07 PM
 
4,494 posts, read 4,757,793 times
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Gee, if I were a drinker I'd be sauced by now after reading this thread.
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Old 07-14-2014, 05:09 PM
 
1,981 posts, read 2,733,798 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jean_ji View Post
We're going to visit our parents at the end of this week. It's always bittersweet; we love seeing them but it's sad to see them age. They have picture of themselves in a frame in the guest room where we sleep. They are in swimsuits at the beach. They look so young and vital, they are sixty and fifty-eight, newly retired and have a thirty years of good times ahead of them.

My parents always drove to SC in the spring and fall and a drive to see the leaves change in the Smokies. The last time was two years ago. Dad has macular degeneration and can still drive, but the long trips are over. Dad realizes his limitations. They use to fly, but had an emergency with the landing gear on a trip coming back from Hawaii to Chicago and they have never flown since.

My MIL is five years younger than my parents and decided to leave a car in FL this year and will fly back and forth now. Nothing like long trips in cars to make you realize you don't bounce back as quickly the older you get. She is babysitting the grands and great grands occasionally and we'll see her too. She's appreciative of any help around the house and outbuildings that we offer. My Dad will not take us up on offers to cut the grass or help with anything; we're company.

I met up with a group of spinner/weavers that I see once a month here. One member's husband had major aortic surgery and now has presented with an infection, one of the antibiotics put him in a temporary dementia until they took him off. They are very well off but he's self employed as a lawyer and what insurance isn't covering is flooring her. Another member who hasn't been there for a few months had tripped over a door jamb, fell and shattered her shoulder and broke her jaw. She's recovering, but she's 58 and in good shape. Well, she looks like she's in great shape but they told her the bone in her arm where they put plates looked like Swiss cheese. Her last bone density test was fine 16 months prior.

We don't have a plan for later yet. DH is still working so it's not in the forefront. After seeing my friends, I'm trying not to worry about now.
It all is a big wake-up call, though.

When I move back to San Diego, I'm going to rent an apartment in a 55+ complex. The complex does have a bus to take residents grocery shopping once or twice a week. There is an active senior center across the street. The beach is less than a mile away. I won't be totally 'stuck' should my health fail. San Diego also provides free transportation for seniors to medical care. BUT -- the complex doesn't include housework and cooking, of course, and already housework is an all-week thing. I do it in stages (usually). But then I'm not home that much either. I'm doing something or another every day except Saturday (I absolutely refuse to drive on Friday nights and Saturdays.)

Well, I think I've got 10 more decent years. I'll see where I'm at when I'm 75. If I don't like the view -- I know what to do and how to do it.
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Old 07-14-2014, 05:11 PM
 
5,402 posts, read 6,554,145 times
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seems like a lot of dark thinking to me.

you do the best you can and plan ahead. put 'security and care' systems in place, then live your life.
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