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Old 07-17-2014, 04:53 AM
 
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
71,969 posts, read 83,656,005 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by txfriend View Post
After 20 years of retirement and 50 years of marriage I find that she is not the same person I married and neither am I. I always have a good laugh after she gets home from spending the afternoon with her girlfriends. I know the topic of conversation must have been ‘how to manage your husband in retirement’.
As a wife, married almost 56 years, I can assure you what you think the conversations are about is just about right on, followed by how wonderful our great grandkids are. We were taught never to flaunt the greatness of our kids and even the grandkids, but by the time we have great grandkids it is ok.

As for the same person we married, I don't know if that is true or if the rainbow glasses just need to have new lenses... I think we marry because we are "IN LOVE" we stay married because we "love the person"
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Old 07-17-2014, 06:04 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,179,255 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NCN View Post
We both forgot to mention how cute our husbands are. Mine was a pill when he was sick and couldn't drive and do what he wanted too.
Yes, ordinarily, Hubby is quite charming, a wonderful conversationalist, a sympathetic listener and a very polished gentleman. Sharp dresser, used to be a wonderful dancer.

He told his docs before his surgery that his ultimate goal was to be able to take me on a spin across the dance floor again.

He is my best friend; that's why the personality change has been so difficult.

I pray a lot for strength to get through this stage--as my hope is that eventually, life will settle back into our once very comfortable and fulfilling relationship.
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Old 07-17-2014, 09:42 AM
NCN
 
Location: NC/SC Border Patrol
21,135 posts, read 21,891,633 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Yes, ordinarily, Hubby is quite charming, a wonderful conversationalist, a sympathetic listener and a very polished gentleman. Sharp dresser, used to be a wonderful dancer.

He told his docs before his surgery that his ultimate goal was to be able to take me on a spin across the dance floor again.

He is my best friend; that's why the personality change has been so difficult.

I pray a lot for strength to get through this stage--as my hope is that eventually, life will settle back into our once very comfortable and fulfilling relationship.
I have always thought illness is harder on the spouse. We will just have to pray with you. I have noticed my husband's personality changes when he takes his seizure medication. He becomes stubborn and even more inflexible. I walk away. And try to make sure none of his decisions are made when his reasoning power is not there.
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Old 07-17-2014, 03:10 PM
 
2,235 posts, read 2,379,821 times
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I guess the most difficult part of retirement was readjusting our daily routines. My wife hadn't worked for 20 years and part of her routine was my leaving each day for work and getting home at a certain time. And of course, my leaving and returning home. She told me she couldn't get anything done with me at home. So I go fishing a few days a week and the rest of the time retreat to the home office and attend to business.
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Old 07-17-2014, 09:16 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,492,863 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eccotecc View Post
I guess the most difficult part of retirement was readjusting our daily routines. My wife hadn't worked for 20 years and part of her routine was my leaving each day for work and getting home at a certain time. And of course, my leaving and returning home. She told me she couldn't get anything done with me at home. So I go fishing a few days a week and the rest of the time retreat to the home office and attend to business.
I used to call it an office. Now, after retirement, I call it my cave.
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Old 07-17-2014, 09:42 PM
 
Location: too far from the sea
19,842 posts, read 18,867,840 times
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We were already retired when we met although we agree that we should have met in 1963.

He's moody. He says he will do things and then he doesn't. He's too preoccupied with the computer. But when we get away for a few days he is more fun than a barrel of monkeys and we are just alike and interested in the same things. Thank goodness for men who are interested in history, museums, gardens, home life. So many men are caught up in their careers and never developed any outside interests.

and OMG, huge praise to Men Who Cook. They are dears.
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Old 07-17-2014, 11:17 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
16,423 posts, read 5,357,597 times
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I discovered that my husband is a world class homebody. He seldom leaves the house. He doesn't have any hobbies other than computers and books and doesn't have any family or friends to socialize with (all his friends are either from high school or the Army and live far away). I live for the days that he has doctor, dentist or haircut appointments so I can have the house to myself for a little while.

My retirement fantasy was to spend some time traveling, but DH won't board an airplane and doesn't like traveling generally. I can't even get him interested in day trips. It's a shame, because we have the budget to do almost anything we want, and we live in a place where there's so much to do and see within a day's drive. I'm hoping that I will meet a like-minded girlfriend to travel with because I am longing to see more of the world but am not brave enough to go it alone.

Mr. Bay has major separation anxiety issues and has to know where I am every minute of the day. When I leave the house, he follows me to the garage, inspects the car to make sure all four of the doors are locked and puts me through a pre-flight checklist ("Have you got your wallet? Your credit cards? Your keys? Your phone?") Every. Single. Time. And I don't come home within five or 10 minutes of when he expects me, he'll call my cell phone and say, "Where are you?"

He doesn't cook, but when I'm in the kitchen Mr. Bay often hovers over me and "supervises." He's like one of those cats who weaves in and out of your legs, I'm always afraid I'm going to trip over him! Sometimes I have to literally push him out of the way to get to the refrigerator or pantry.

He doesn't do housework. But when I do, he'll complain about the sound of the vacuum cleaner (which BTW is one of the quietest models made) and the smells of household cleaners, so I can't get much done when he's around.

On the plus side, he's low-key and easy to get along with, he has a great sense of humor, he's good at fixing things, he takes care of the bills and the taxes, and he does sometimes help with dishes and laundry. And yes, I do love him dearly and wonder what I would do without him.
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Old 07-18-2014, 06:06 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,492,863 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by in_newengland View Post
and OMG, huge praise to Men Who Cook. They are dears.
Thank you! And I even enjoy it.
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Old 07-18-2014, 06:37 PM
 
2,499 posts, read 6,395,252 times
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We have been retired since '88 and married 59 years,we get a long fine,the only change would be that I do most of the cooking and get breakfast ready,usually melon and banana to start.
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Old 07-18-2014, 08:07 PM
 
Location: too far from the sea
19,842 posts, read 18,867,840 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
Thank you! And I even enjoy it.
You actually popped into my mind as I was writing that! Hoooray for men who cook.
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