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Old 07-15-2014, 01:17 PM
 
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
72,008 posts, read 83,671,479 times
Reputation: 41803

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I often wonder if it is just me or do we all find out things, good and bad about our mates after we all are retired or about to retire?

I have learned quite a few things:

The good: he is willing to help me around the house, even folds cloths ( I wish he would leave the folding to me)

He take more time to say "thank you" than he did before.

He loves to say nice things about our 3 kids and he shows how proud he is of them and
our 2 oldest granddaughers.

Negative: I never realized how slow he was. Most of the time I want to stick a pin in his you know what to get him moving or when he does the dishes, I wonder how anyone can take 1/2 hour to wash one pan and put a few dishes in the DW.

He says things that hurt my feelings without even realizing he is doing it. He is just more cranky.

He chews gum and it drives me up a wall.

I love him with all my heart!!!
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Old 07-15-2014, 02:03 PM
 
1,316 posts, read 1,183,954 times
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When I retired, I volunteered to do all the clothes washing....Only then did I realize that she also had skid marks on HER undies too.....
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Old 07-15-2014, 04:40 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,497,588 times
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Nothing that would keep me from loving, admiring and respecting her. That's all that matters. It's why I married her in the first place. Besides, despite my faults she loves me anyway. That's not new either.
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Old 07-15-2014, 04:41 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,497,588 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaffeetrekker View Post
When I retired, I volunteered to do all the clothes washing....Only then did I realize that she also had skid marks on HER undies too.....
So buy her something other than tidy-whities.
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Old 07-15-2014, 05:42 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,985,208 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
Nothing that would keep me from loving, admiring and respecting her. That's all that matters. It's why I married her in the first place. Besides, despite my faults she loves me anyway. That's not new either.
I'd like to have a conversation with your wife, LOL LOL.
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Old 07-15-2014, 05:50 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,985,208 times
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We discovered, after getting back together within a decades-long relationship since college (and after retirement) that we really are more competitive than we thought.

This goes back to our dating years when I was by far the better painter (abstract) than he (realism) () and we would argue for hours into the night about which approach to art was "more legitimate."

And he was a huge fan of Wagner and made me listen to recordings for hours on end, before I woke up and realized Wagner was racist and refused to listen to another note. The ongoing argument there is whether one can "separate the artist from the art."

Then we had nasty arguments about the correct execution of hand-drawn reproductions of letters from the Trajan Column in Rome (mine being far superior to his) and finally how to raise children (he laissez-fare, me disciplinarian/structured—interesting, because abstract art is generally much more spontaneous than realism).

He walking the dogs: let them pull. Me walking the dogs: I lead, I'm the master.

So the disagreements go on, and keep life interesting. I think.
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Old 07-15-2014, 06:36 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,186,293 times
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I am assuming it is too early to know for sure if my hubby's dictatorial, imperative, critical, demanding Type A demeanor is permanent, or a mix of being newly retired and just having undergone major surgery.

We shall see.

Meanwhile, I am looking into shared studio space so I can at least escape a few hours a week. This won't be available til this Fall (if I can even work it out) so lots of deep breathing and self affirmations for now.

I had looked forward to a very different retirement. I never envisioned this huge personality change with hubby. I still have hope things will settle down but best to make some plans for my own sanity in case they don't.
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Old 07-15-2014, 10:33 PM
 
10,818 posts, read 8,069,111 times
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The knots in his head exactly fit the holes in mine.

I retired a couple of years before he did, and spent too much of that time worrying about how we'd get along without the distractions of work (and child-rearing, before that).

As it turns out, we're a good match.
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Old 07-16-2014, 04:10 AM
 
Location: Florida
19,827 posts, read 19,916,125 times
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I learned that I was right to stick around all the years and work through whatever was less than wonderful.
He had 'trained' well and turned out better than even I had hoped
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Old 07-16-2014, 04:45 AM
 
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
72,008 posts, read 83,671,479 times
Reputation: 41803
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaffeetrekker View Post
When I retired, I volunteered to do all the clothes washing....Only then did I realize that she also had skid marks on HER undies too.....
oh yep, that one too: only he found about mine I think.
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