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Old 07-30-2014, 11:31 PM
 
1,734 posts, read 1,950,095 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
Your father's experience and attitude are interesting. After 13 years on our townhouse association board, I was elected president about a month ago.

...

Personally I would never allow the condo association to take over my life the way your father has chosen to allow it.
On the contrary, lol! Please take care you don't hound that little community to distraction, pursuing enforcement of every codicil of the by-laws, and some others that don't exist yet, for good measure. I foresee relentless oversight, weighing every pet out on its morning walk, under guise of legitimacy. Special assessments galore to cover a tenfold increase in legal fees. Furtive meetings to revise the quorum rules... Saints preserve us from condo boards with too much time on their hands!
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Old 07-31-2014, 06:22 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,744,100 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jane_sm1th73 View Post
On the contrary, lol! Please take care you don't hound that little community to distraction, pursuing enforcement of every codicil of the by-laws, and some others that don't exist yet, for good measure. I foresee relentless oversight, weighing every pet out on its morning walk, under guise of legitimacy. Special assessments galore to cover a tenfold increase in legal fees. Furtive meetings to revise the quorum rules... Saints preserve us from condo boards with too much time on their hands!
It was rigid enforcement that I was fighting ever since I became a board member. The only special assessments we have ever had were necessary to repair things in our 33 year-old units, such as pool equipment, roofs, and wood rot. We do not have any "legal fees" because we operate within the law and follow the advice of our management company in doing so. "Furtive meetings" are against the law in California and we do not hold them. Any increase in monthly fees, as well as any special assessments, must be paid by the board members who vote to approve them just as by other homeowners. So board members are, as a rule, rather reluctant to vote for an increase in their own costs. Nonetheless, we are responsible for maintaining the property in good condition (everybody's property values depend on that, as well as their pride and enjoyment in ownership), so especially with an older property, increases are sometimes necessary.

I'm not sure in which states the horror stories you have heard occurred (and I am not ruling out that they occurred in California), but California law is very specific in protecting the rights of homeowners and specifying the duties of HOA boards. Election procedures are particularly protected, and they require the presence of a "neutral third party" to conduct the yearly elections and count the ballots. Board members who ignore or flout the law may find themselves personally liable.

One additional point: In California the provisions of state law trump the provisions of the governing documents of homeowners' associations, since the latter may be years out of date. In other words, any provisions of the governing documents which are contrary to state law are ipso facto null and void.

Edited to add: It just occurred to me what you meant about "weighing the pets", as I recall hearing that some associations limit the size of dogs by weight. We have no such restrictions and therefore we do not care how large anyone's dogs are. There are, however, rules about not leaving the dog poop in common use areas, and I think the justification for those rules needs no explanation.

Last edited by Escort Rider; 07-31-2014 at 06:47 AM..
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Old 08-01-2014, 07:47 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,697 posts, read 23,672,920 times
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Getting back to the original question, "Being A Homebody: Okay or Pathological?" I have a bit of a problem with the word "pathological." That's pretty harsh when you think about it. "Okay" is a good word because is denotes acceptance but "pathological" denotes a mental illness.

I envision someone staying home who is pathological about doing so as someone who has agoraphobia hiding behind closed doors in fear of the outside whereas someone who is a homebody is someone who just prefers the comfort of their own familiar surroundings and finds their best place to be is home sweet home.

It looks like from the responses here there is a variety of what people like regarding travel and varying levels as to how much they like to do it if they choose to do it at all. So I don't think there is just one definitive answer to this question.
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Old 08-03-2014, 06:43 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
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A new thread by poster organic_donna about a new book on retirement touches on the current thread topic because the author talks not only about financial issues, but also about happiness issues. His findings are that the happiest retirees are the ones with activities they are really into.
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Old 08-03-2014, 07:36 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,954 posts, read 7,395,135 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
A new thread by poster organic_donna about a new book on retirement touches on the current thread topic because the author talks not only about financial issues, but also about happiness issues. His findings are that the happiest retirees are the ones with activities they are really into.
Can't argue with that.
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Old 08-03-2014, 11:35 PM
 
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However those activities need not take you out of your home. I enjoy reading, music (playing and listening), gardening, weaving, and pottery. None of these require me to go bopping around town.

That said, if I could still drive, I probably would get around more often than I do.
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Old 08-07-2014, 09:29 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,744,100 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
A new thread by poster organic_donna about a new book on retirement touches on the current thread topic because the author talks not only about financial issues, but also about happiness issues. His findings are that the happiest retirees are the ones with activities they are really into.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Umbria View Post
Can't argue with that.
Glad to note you agree with me on that point, but there are plenty of people who can indeed argue with that. Here's one from the "What is the highlight of your day?" thread, by poster Avalon08:

"Vegetate: To be passive or unthinking, to do nothing". Because people are not running around to the London Philharmonic (or wherever you said), reading to schoolkids, driving around in a sports car -- they are "vegetating"? Morning coffee on the porch, reading a book on the rocking chair, enjoying the sunrise -- these activities are not "meaningful" to you? Obviously you think not, hence the people who cherish these simple activities after 30 or 40 years of working at perhaps a stressful, physically demanding or just tedious job, are vegetating. Half the responses on here were tongue-in-cheek to begin with....

And about the person whose highlight is not having to go to work? That's my highlight, too. I had a 25+-year career at a wonderful company, until it was acquired by a huge corporation. And then everything changed. When you work at a job you hate, it's no fun getting up in the morning. So every day of freedom from that misery is glorious to me, whether I'm doing something "meaningful" like you or just sitting here on the computer "vegetating"....or I guess maybe that IS meaningful since you also do that...?

It doesn't need to be a debate and you don't need to denigrate other people's lives because they may not be the Energizer Bunny like you...OK, I will now go back to "vegetating"....
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Old 08-07-2014, 09:50 PM
 
10,817 posts, read 8,067,156 times
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Recent post on the Humans of New York site, photo of a serene-looking retiree, with this caption:

Quote:
“Some aches and pains, but I’m enjoying being eighty. It’s not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. I underestimated the pleasures of an unstructured life.
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Old 08-07-2014, 10:01 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,697 posts, read 23,672,920 times
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I always get a chuckle out of those articles in publications for retirees that suggest now all of a sudden they must always be doing something or they will wither and die.

Suggestions run from reading to kids, take up ballroom dancing, learn macrame, hike, go bowling, do Tai Chi and all kinds of things that are supposed to interest the retired person. The list is endless. The rush is on to remain "meaningful;" to find something to replace the workplace.

There is just one problem I have with that. It's nonsense. Why should someone who has never been interested in reading to kids, ballroom dancing, etc. etc. before suddenly start taking an interest in these or any of the many suggestions thrown at them just because they are no longer working? Where is the advice that suggests "You, have time now, do what you have always wanted to do. Sit home and read a book, watch videos, take naps, teach the cat some tricks, etc. etc.

Do what you didn't have the time to do before inside or outside the home. That's what retirees should be doing; filling their time with what they want to be doing once freed of the workplace rigours that dictated what they had to be doing. Following some prescribed formula of what retirees should be doing is once again falling back into the category of being dictated to and takes away the freedom to spend their time as they wish. That includes the freedom to do nothing if they so choose.
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Old 08-07-2014, 10:22 PM
 
13,044 posts, read 15,400,418 times
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I don't think it's pathological at all. There is nothing wrong with enjoying your home. I mean, you can make your home exactly how you want it and no place on earth can match that. I am home most of the time. I work at home. When I'm not working, I am usually doing something around the house, either inside or outside. I almost always get at the house at some point during the day, whether it's going to the bank or post office or grocery store, or to Starbucks, or to get takeout for dinner. Sometimes I just want to get out of the house and I drive around and look at houses out of my price range that I WISH I lived in. All that just to get a break from the house since I'm here all the time. Going out to socialize, like to a bar or something like that, doesn't interest me.

I like to travel, but the more I travel the more I realize there is really nothing like being home. I'm always glad to get home. In fact, recently we took an 8 day trip and after that, I pretty much decided I would plan any future trips for 3 or 4 days. At a certain point you just want to be home.

I think I've always been like this, because I can remember when I was in my teens and 20s going places with friends - concerts, bars, parties, etc. AND I JUST WANTED TO GO HOME. I didn't like the rowdiness and the loudness and the chaos. I never understood how people stayed out most of the night partying. Not me. I will stay outside most of the night looking at the stars, though. I'd rather be home with peace and quiet.
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