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Old 07-21-2014, 07:44 PM
 
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Almost everyone seems to equate retirement with travel. They seem disappointed when they ask about my travel plans and I explain that I don't travel. DH and I have traveled to a number of domestic and foreign cities in the past, each for a week. Never really enjoyed it all that much. By the fourth day I was itching to come home.

Mostly we have done city sight-seeing vacations and I've never loved the tourist thing. No city lived up to my expectations. The planning was more fun than the reality. On the couple of times we have done relaxing vacations like cruises or resorts I was bored with that as well.

We aren't great sleepers and prefer our own bed. Eating away from home can be a problem for us (whole foods plant-based). And we'd miss our cat terribly and she would miss us.

A new friend invited us for a weekend in a mountain cabin they are renting. Don't like long car trips. Again, eating would be a problem. And as introverts we like to be with people for just a few hours and go home, not be with them for 48 hours. I feel horrible about declining the invitation, but I really don't think I want to go.

We aren't hermits. We go out every day to the gym, which we love. We socialize numerous times each week. We love our life and don't want to escape from it, even for a weekend.

Is this pathological----or just a difference in preferences, even though easily 95% of the population wants to travel and get away?
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Old 07-21-2014, 08:06 PM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,583,277 times
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You should do what you want, what makes you happy.
That's what retirement's all about.
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Old 07-21-2014, 08:53 PM
 
Location: Northern panhandle WV
3,007 posts, read 2,175,781 times
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Of course there is nothing wrong with it. It is just as valid as many other chosen lifestyles.

I am sick and tired of people telling me I need counceling because I don't have friends and don't go out and socialize, neither of us are gregarious people.

I don't pick on those that do have friends and go out so why should people I meet try to invalidate who I am?
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Old 07-21-2014, 09:18 PM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA
15,426 posts, read 12,159,510 times
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There's nothing out there...lost luggage, someone else's bed...
loving your home is why they call it "Home".
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Old 07-21-2014, 09:24 PM
 
10,819 posts, read 8,073,350 times
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Traveling, staying home, socializing, being a hermit, it's all good.

Biscuitpop and I are homebody introverts at heart. We also enjoy seeing the world and rubbing elbows with our fellow travelers as well as our neighbors back home. Sounds contradictory but here's the thing: retirement gives us time to travel and to socialize, and also ample time to withdraw and recharge our batteries.

But that's not everyone's cuppa. Anyone who's hardwired to skip retirement travel and socializing, good on you. Enjoy, you earned it.
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Old 07-21-2014, 10:09 PM
 
Location: Salem,Oregon
306 posts, read 338,168 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzcat22 View Post
Almost everyone seems to equate retirement with travel. They seem disappointed when they ask about my travel plans and I explain that I don't travel. DH and I have traveled to a number of domestic and foreign cities in the past, each for a week. Never really enjoyed it all that much. By the fourth day I was itching to come home.

Mostly we have done city sight-seeing vacations and I've never loved the tourist thing. No city lived up to my expectations. The planning was more fun than the reality. On the couple of times we have done relaxing vacations like cruises or resorts I was bored with that as well.

We aren't great sleepers and prefer our own bed. Eating away from home can be a problem for us (whole foods plant-based). And we'd miss our cat terribly and she would miss us.

A new friend invited us for a weekend in a mountain cabin they are renting. Don't like long car trips. Again, eating would be a problem. And as introverts we like to be with people for just a few hours and go home, not be with them for 48 hours. I feel horrible about declining the invitation, but I really don't think I want to go.

We aren't hermits. We go out every day to the gym, which we love. We socialize numerous times each week. We love our life and don't want to escape from it, even for a weekend.

Is this pathological----or just a difference in preferences, even though easily 95% of the population wants to travel and get away?
I am the same way totally, right down to loving the gym. I have a hard enough time sleeping at home when I travel it's impossible. I enjoy being around people for short periods of time and then I need to be alone to re charge. I have 2 cats that I would miss and worry about.
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Old 07-21-2014, 10:23 PM
 
10,819 posts, read 8,073,350 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oregonbirder View Post
I have 2 cats that I would miss and worry about.
I can relate. Our cat turns 17 y.o. next month, and leaving him alone at home was one of my biggest retirement worries. Luckily we found (referral from our vet) the cat-sitter from heaven. She's a trained, experienced vet tech who comes to our house once a day while we're gone and medicates/pampers our pet. Charges $18 a day and worth every penny. We just recently returned from a 3-week trip, and he was overjoyed to see us but otherwise mellow and contented. She also waters indoor and outdoor plants, brings in the paper/mail and makes sure all is ok with the house.
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Old 07-21-2014, 10:47 PM
 
1,437 posts, read 725,652 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arwenmark View Post
Of course there is nothing wrong with it. It is just as valid as many other chosen lifestyles.

I am sick and tired of people telling me I need counceling because I don't have friends and don't go out and socialize, neither of us are gregarious people.

I don't pick on those that do have friends and go out so why should people I meet try to invalidate who I am?

Exactly.....there are a few posters on here (won't mention any names but if you search around you'll find them....one having the initials "ER") who think they are the sole arbiters of what is "normal" and/or dictate what is acceptable as far as living life goes.

They look down upon or judge people who don't live up to their ideals of how life should be lived based on their narrow mindsets.

There is nothing wrong with living life on your own terms......again, the whole different strokes thing.

I'm ok with limited travel & social interaction but realize others may disagree and want to go all over the place and want constant interaction.

I'd rather relax at or around home than deal with the stresses of travel (ESPECIALLY driving long distances).

Last edited by luckyram; 07-21-2014 at 10:56 PM..
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Old 07-22-2014, 04:29 AM
 
2,742 posts, read 728,333 times
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Thanks so much for your responses. So nice that there are some kindred souls here who understand that retirement/life doesn't have to be "one size fits all." I do understand that most people are invigorated by travel and love it, but if it doesn't work for me I see no upside in forcing myself to do it just because it's the "normal"/expected thing to do.

Aside from my introversion and high sensitivity that makes travel something to be endured rather than savored, I aim for more of a low-key contentment rather than a manic, frantic, always seeking peak experiences. Martha Beck talked about this in a recent article in O Magazine:

How to Find Lasting Happiness - Finding Joy That Lasts

She notes that as soon as one experience is over, people who seek an intense high have to seek another one or they will crash. She laughs about trips to DisneyWorld are "exalted like trips to Mecca" and weddings have become multiday destination trips.

The ironic thing is that people who travel think I live a limited life. My life is rich with the music I listen to at home, books I read, cooking I do, exercising, meditating. I actually think I live a fuller life than people who are compelled to travel. I'm never bored! I don't even watch television. And I do experience other cultures (my gym and community is very diverse. I shop at an Asian market several times a week. I watch foreign films).

I had to laugh when a friend traveled to Vietnam and was so excited that she got to eat dragon fruit. I tried it years ago, thanks to the local Asian market. So it seems like I can try new things even without leaving my home for overnight(s).
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Old 07-22-2014, 04:30 AM
 
10,374 posts, read 9,394,725 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arwenmark View Post
Of course there is nothing wrong with it. It is just as valid as many other chosen lifestyles.

I am sick and tired of people telling me I need counceling because I don't have friends and don't go out and socialize, neither of us are gregarious people.

I don't pick on those that do have friends and go out so why should people I meet try to invalidate who I am?
Excellent posting! I too am fed up with others thinking they can 'make the rules' regarding how others live their lives.
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