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Old 07-23-2014, 03:13 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,415,019 times
Reputation: 22407

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy in Wyoming View Post
You are correct. But the amount of rage expressed in that thread is extraordinary. Apparently my post did have an ameliorating effect because some subsequent posts showed a marked change.

I must mention that the cuts in Medicare caused by Obamacare were intentional. The writers of that foul piece of legislation were without question a self-appointed Death Committee.

On a lighter note, I must mention that an indoor temperature of 78 would send me running. I can't conceive of sleeping in it.

Addition: I just noticed that they're at it again joking about a bed that repels a MIL. They want us dead.
HeeHee.

Yes, they do want us dead, in general, as younger folks are very angry about "their" inheritances being spent b/f we die (as we live to be so old) and they feel like we are taking their jobs (b/c we aren't retiring at 62). And . . . they think we are running up all sorts of debt for them and their kids b/c we are a large group and are going to live "forever" and the cost to keep us alive is not worth the effort, lololol.

Lots of animosity out there towards seniors.

Now, personally being treated disrespectfully? I haven't really had that happen. Being treated dismissively, though . . . yes. Or being patronized.

And yes -- sleeping requires a temp for me in the winter of low 60s and in the summer, the most I can tolerate is 72 d and that would require a fan nearby, lol. I prefer sleeping with temps in the 60s year round and would take sleeping in the 50s as preferable to sleeping at temps above 70F. I have been this way my entire life, which was pretty miserable, living with parents who keep winter temps in the high 70s. I slept with my windows cracked in the winter, as a child.
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Old 07-23-2014, 03:14 PM
 
Location: Seattle Area
1,716 posts, read 1,601,446 times
Reputation: 4127
Its not about elderly, its about MIL's...and while most MIL's are elderly, you can't just make the story fit your theory. But it should be noted that many elderly are smelly, out of touch and stuck in their ways, all non-endearing qualities. Some of these things they could adjust, others not so much. In the original thread the man should have done whatever was needed to make his wife happy, end of story.
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Old 07-23-2014, 03:24 PM
 
526 posts, read 746,401 times
Reputation: 803
i would truly hate someone who wanted me to buy a new mattress when they wanted to spend nite at my house
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Old 07-23-2014, 03:29 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,415,019 times
Reputation: 22407
Quote:
Originally Posted by eidas View Post
i would truly hate someone who wanted me to buy a new mattress when they wanted to spend nite at my house
In regard to that thread, it appears to me that the MIL was using that as her "excuse" not to visit. I think that is really what was going on.

The easy solution would be for MIL to buy a memory foam topper and give it to her daughter as a gift so she can use it when there, or for SIL to buy a topper for the mattress. If that isn't good enough solution, then I think we can all assume that MIL just doesn't want to come spend the night there, for whatever reason.
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Old 07-23-2014, 04:03 PM
 
Location: SoCal desert
8,093 posts, read 13,298,125 times
Reputation: 14870
I've got to go along with the crowd that says that other thread is about MIL's, not elderly.

I have 3 friends who became MIL's at ages 36 to 37.
My own mother became a MIL at age 38. (Not by me, I was only 8 )

Within 15 months all 4 of them were grandmothers.
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Old 07-23-2014, 04:06 PM
 
Location: Cody, WY
9,636 posts, read 11,030,029 times
Reputation: 19374
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
I...don't....know about that. When my grandchildren (twins) were born I offered to stay overnight to help them get through the night (the babies, preemies, were really collicky and cried all night) so they could catch at least a few hours sleep. DIL's response (she's 29): Look around, do you see anywhere you can sleep? (their couch was a two-seater, and no guest room). Ya think she'd say thanks, maybe we can get an air mattress? Honestly, so many of these young brides (and by default, their husbands) think the universe revolves around them. So many show so little respect to their elders, who often bend over backward to help them.
That's so true.

Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
HeeHee.

Yes, they do want us dead, in general, as younger folks are very angry about "their" inheritances being spent b/f we die (as we live to be so old) and they feel like we are taking their jobs (b/c we aren't retiring at 62). And . . . they think we are running up all sorts of debt for them and their kids b/c we are a large group and are going to live "forever" and the cost to keep us alive is not worth the effort, lololol.

Lots of animosity out there towards seniors.

Now, personally being treated disrespectfully? I haven't really had that happen. Being treated dismissively, though . . . yes. Or being patronized.

And yes -- sleeping requires a temp for me in the winter of low 60s and in the summer, the most I can tolerate is 72 d and that would require a fan nearby, lol. I prefer sleeping with temps in the 60s year round and would take sleeping in the 50s as preferable to sleeping at temps above 70F. I have been this way my entire life, which was pretty miserable, living with parents who keep winter temps in the high 70s. I slept with my windows cracked in the winter, as a child.
I've never had any problems personally, but I'm fortunate in that I don't have a family. Isn't it terrible that the previous sentence is true?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yakscsd View Post
Its not about elderly, its about MIL's...and while most MIL's are elderly, you can't just make the story fit your theory. But it should be noted that many elderly are smelly, out of touch and stuck in their ways, all non-endearing qualities. Some of these things they could adjust, others not so much. In the original thread the man should have done whatever was needed to make his wife happy, end of story.
Do you stink?

Do you refuse to think like moderns? No facebook? No big screen television? No bastard childen?

Do you still talk on a telephone?

Do you still work even though you already have too much money.

Do you like the same books, movies, and music you liked fifty years ago?

Are you depriving your children of what's rightfully theirs by spending money going out to lunch, vacations, and, worst of all, medical care?

Don't worry; there's a great solution: suicide. But don't do it just any old way. You don't want your family to be stuck with burial expenses. Rent a rowboat or canoe, nothing expensive. Get a few cinder blocks. Row out to some quiet spot in very deep water, tie the cinder blocks around your neck or necks, then jump. This will save funeral expenses.

You'll no longer waste your children's money.

You'll no longer keep some worthy young people from their rightful employment.

And best of all, you'll no longer stink, reminisce, or criticize at family functions, at grocery stores, or anywhere else.
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Old 07-23-2014, 04:29 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,083,138 times
Reputation: 15651
My kids, who are sweet and kind but of the "me" generation, may go days without getting back to me after I leave a cell message. And yet, I've been in their homes when they get a text from someone on their whatever phone and I distinctly hear the "ding!" when a message comes in and see them texting right back! Now I don't think this is "hating the elderly," I think it's the elderly are the elderly and pretty much out of their radar range, IOW, not so important in their social context. It's all about texting, posting their stuff to facebook, yada yada. And god forbid I ever try to communicate in an emergency via an email. I'd be dead a month before anyone responded.
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Old 07-23-2014, 04:30 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,824 posts, read 7,129,179 times
Reputation: 14437
Quote:
Originally Posted by NLDad View Post
Wow, "hate" is a pretty strong word. Perhaps you could try being direct instead of all this passive aggressive stuff, just an idea.

I certainly didn't read the whole thread, but I skimmed down through several pages, and saw lots of practical suggestions as well as some that pointed out some specific considerations why your complaints may be valid. So, I don't quite get why you feel so persecuted. Also don't get why the mattress poster seemed to want us to solve the problems with his wife. I think everyone involved needs to step back, get a little more practical and caring and stop figuring out who to blame and why everyone else is wrong, but that's just my opnion.
I did read the entire thread, and saw nothing of the "hate" that the OP states is there. Sure there were a few sarcastic comments about what to do with MILs- entirely tongue-in-cheek, as MIL jokes always are, but I didn't see any hostility in any of the comments. Perhaps the OP is a card-carrying member of the "Church of the Perpetually Offended" and sees hostility everywhere he/she looks, whether it's intended or not.

As for the mattress, IMO it's pretty presumptuous for any guest, family member or no, to request that a host buy a new mattress because that guest wasn't comfortable on the mattress that was there- especially if it's a reasonably new mattress as was suggested. Last time I priced decent mattresses ( and who knows what is going to suit this MIL?) they were well over $500- and I think we paid about $800 several years ago for our queen size mattress. It's a bit of an expenditure and might well not be in the budget for a young family. If I were truly uncomfortable in a guest bed, enough so I couldn't sleep in it, I'd maybe ask about getting a topper or memory foam for that bed - even those can be somewhat pricey but I might offer to buy it for the host, see if the host has anywhere else I might sleep if I wanted to stay with them, or go to a motel if that's the best thing to do. And I'd ensure them that my discomfort with sleeping in that bed was because of my own health ( or whatever) issues, not because it's a lousy bed and they ought to replace the mattress!

I'm sure there was more to the original story than could be discussed in a forum, and everything that posters read into what's presented there might only be speculation because we don't know the whole story or the family dynamics, but I sure don't see any hate coming from any of the comments as the OP has suggested. And I'm old myself, so it's not denial of an issue I couldn't possibly identify with, as those "perpetually offended" members often suggest when others don't see what they're projecting into others' comments.
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Old 07-23-2014, 04:38 PM
 
1,971 posts, read 2,506,395 times
Reputation: 2170
Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy in Wyoming View Post
You are correct. But the amount of rage expressed in that thread is extraordinary. Apparently my post did have an ameliorating effect because some subsequent posts showed a marked change.

I must mention that the cuts in Medicare caused by Obamacare were intentional. The writers of that foul piece of legislation were without question a self-appointed Death Committee.

On a lighter note, I must mention that an indoor temperature of 78 would send me running. I can't conceive of sleeping in it.

Addition: I just noticed that they're at it again joking about a bed that repels a MIL. They want us dead.
There was nothing of that in that thread but it will be nice when all the crabby old people die.
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Old 07-23-2014, 04:43 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,083,138 times
Reputation: 15651
Quote:
Originally Posted by rzzz View Post
There was nothing of that in that thread but it will be nice when all the crabby old people die.
Oh rzzz seriously, get a grip. Your life is not in ruins because of people older than you. What are you going to say when you hit 55? Complain about the young?
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