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Suppose that you wished to visit one of your children who lived too far away for a day visit. Suppose you found the bed assigned to you were terribly uncomfortable and you told your child you just couldn't use it. But suppose her husband didn't wish to spend a penny on her and started a thread on c-d complaining. Wouldn't you expect to see him condemned in countless posts? Well, it didn't happen.
Read these responses of uncaring and cold-hearted people. However, I bet they'll all be happy to collect any inheritance. Times have really changed. Few of the posts show any care whatsoever. The only truly supportive post I saw is a post from a kind old gent in Wyoming.
So now we are dragging threads from other forums just to ...what?? Have something to talk about, fill your time, prove your point, prove your own injustice...what? Theres got to be something else to do?
I read this and felt so sad for the mother and the couple.
When my first grandson was born, I slept on an air mattress with a slow leak at my daughter's house. I had to get up a couple of times every night to pump it up. My daughter had a new baby and I was a lot younger.
When my son inlaw's mother and grandmother went to visit, I told my daughter to give them the bedroom and make other arrangements (air bed, sleeping bags, sofa, whatever) for she and her husband.
I still thought of my daughter as a child and I instructed her on how to act. If she resented it, she didn't tell me. She is a gracious hostess today.
People don't seem to have manners anymore. Perhaps we are not teaching them to our children. I'm not sure they hate the elderly, but you sure don't get any respect just because you are old.
I think good manners, in general, are on the wane. Respect for elders and authority figures seems to be disappearing too.
A relative loves to visit me,
However the only bed we have is a pullout sofa
That they hate.
So on one visit, they moved in and out after they tried the bed.
So be it.
I was hospitable; their choice and expense.
They are retired and I don't hate them. Che sera sera.
This visit we are putting a blow up mattress in the. L R.
So now we are dragging threads from other forums just to ...what?? Have something to talk about, fill your time, prove your point, prove your own injustice...what? Theres got to be something else to do?
Suppose that you wished to visit one of your children who lived too far away for a day visit. Suppose you found the bed assigned to you were terribly uncomfortable and you told your child you jut couldn't use it. But suppose her husband didn't wish to spend a penny on her and started a thread on c-d complaining. Wouldn't you expect to see him condemned in countless posts? Well, it didn't happen.
Read these responses of uncaring and cold-hearted people. However, I bet they'll all be happy to collect any inheritance. Times have really changed. Few of the posts show any care whatsoever. The only truly supportive post I saw is a post from a kind old gent in Wyoming.
I think that you must be overlaying some of your own feelings on the mattress thread.
The responses have not been uncaring and cold-hearted. They've mostly been practical, with many people suggesting some sort of a soft pillow-top cover for the mattress. A good new mattress for a queen bed can cost $1,000. What if the daughter and son-in-law don't have that in their budget? If the MIL comes once a year they could pay for a hotel for several years before it would add up to the cost of a mattress.
Also, it's a HUGE leap to say that "so many truly hate the elderly" just from reading the mattress thread. The most you could draw from it is that the OP of that thread, for whatever reason, doesn't want to accommodate his MIL.
The posts that bothered me were the ones implying ( or outright stating) that the MIL ( and other guests)are wrong to complain.
Perhaps younger people don't realize that 'not comfortable to sleep on" can mean absolute pain the whole next day/for the entire trip.
Who wants to subject themselves to something painful?
Not once are "the elderly" mentioned in that thread.
The OP doesn't even state how old the MIL is. She could be 48.
Complaining about demanding MILs is as old as time.
My parents visited my brother and SIL about 20 years ago (were 70 or so at the time) and had to sleep on an air mattress on the floor in the den. My mom has bad arthritis and was very upset about it. Their kids were 8-12 so not sure why my parents could not have slept in the kid's beds. They only stayed for a couple of nights and decided not to visit again unless they stayed in a hotel. This is my least favorite sibling and I don't care for his wife at all. On the other hand, I've given up my bed several time for my parents or aunts and uncles and slept on the couch. And my two sisters would do the same.
I made a vow at age 50 never to sleep on a relative's couch (but I don't mind my own couch) or air mattress/cot again. This was after a "vacation" sleeping on a thin cot in a living room with two other relatives with no AC and barking dogs all night (semi-rural area). Better to go to hotel. But relatives do try to suck me into staying at their house with the promise of plenty of room and a decent bed that does not always materialize.
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what do you want us to talk about?
