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Old 07-23-2014, 08:54 AM
Status: "Support the Mining Law of 1872" (set 15 days ago)
 
Location: Cody, WY
9,589 posts, read 10,939,614 times
Reputation: 19234

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Suppose that you wished to visit one of your children who lived too far away for a day visit. Suppose you found the bed assigned to you were terribly uncomfortable and you told your child you just couldn't use it. But suppose her husband didn't wish to spend a penny on her and started a thread on c-d complaining. Wouldn't you expect to see him condemned in countless posts? Well, it didn't happen.

Read these responses of uncaring and cold-hearted people. However, I bet they'll all be happy to collect any inheritance. Times have really changed. Few of the posts show any care whatsoever. The only truly supportive post I saw is a post from a kind old gent in Wyoming.

MIL says mattress is too firm!

Last edited by Happy in Wyoming; 07-23-2014 at 10:24 AM.. Reason: typo
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Old 07-23-2014, 09:37 AM
 
4,490 posts, read 4,749,659 times
Reputation: 9962
So now we are dragging threads from other forums just to ...what?? Have something to talk about, fill your time, prove your point, prove your own injustice...what? Theres got to be something else to do?
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Old 07-23-2014, 09:39 AM
 
Location: middle tennessee
1,926 posts, read 992,839 times
Reputation: 6995
I read this and felt so sad for the mother and the couple.

When my first grandson was born, I slept on an air mattress with a slow leak at my daughter's house. I had to get up a couple of times every night to pump it up. My daughter had a new baby and I was a lot younger.

When my son inlaw's mother and grandmother went to visit, I told my daughter to give them the bedroom and make other arrangements (air bed, sleeping bags, sofa, whatever) for she and her husband.

I still thought of my daughter as a child and I instructed her on how to act. If she resented it, she didn't tell me. She is a gracious hostess today.

People don't seem to have manners anymore. Perhaps we are not teaching them to our children. I'm not sure they hate the elderly, but you sure don't get any respect just because you are old.

I think good manners, in general, are on the wane. Respect for elders and authority figures seems to be disappearing too.
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Old 07-23-2014, 09:40 AM
 
1,458 posts, read 2,227,217 times
Reputation: 3108
I think folks are bringing the MIL baggage to that thread. And maybe the woman was nasty about it, who knows.

I doubt it is hate. Just... lack of compassion, and viewing things through their own lens.
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Old 07-23-2014, 09:41 AM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,583,277 times
Reputation: 3810
A relative loves to visit me,
However the only bed we have is a pullout sofa
That they hate.
So on one visit, they moved in and out after they tried the bed.
So be it.
I was hospitable; their choice and expense.
They are retired and I don't hate them. Che sera sera.
This visit we are putting a blow up mattress in the. L R.
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Old 07-23-2014, 09:44 AM
 
Location: middle tennessee
1,926 posts, read 992,839 times
Reputation: 6995
Quote:
Originally Posted by brava4 View Post
So now we are dragging threads from other forums just to ...what?? Have something to talk about, fill your time, prove your point, prove your own injustice...what? Theres got to be something else to do?
what do you want us to talk about?

sometimes I need a break from counting my money
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Old 07-23-2014, 09:53 AM
 
15,254 posts, read 16,847,749 times
Reputation: 25437
Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy in Wyoming View Post
Suppose that you wished to visit one of your children who lived too far away for a day visit. Suppose you found the bed assigned to you were terribly uncomfortable and you told your child you jut couldn't use it. But suppose her husband didn't wish to spend a penny on her and started a thread on c-d complaining. Wouldn't you expect to see him condemned in countless posts? Well, it didn't happen.

Read these responses of uncaring and cold-hearted people. However, I bet they'll all be happy to collect any inheritance. Times have really changed. Few of the posts show any care whatsoever. The only truly supportive post I saw is a post from a kind old gent in Wyoming.

MIL says mattress is too firm!
I think that you must be overlaying some of your own feelings on the mattress thread.

The responses have not been uncaring and cold-hearted. They've mostly been practical, with many people suggesting some sort of a soft pillow-top cover for the mattress. A good new mattress for a queen bed can cost $1,000. What if the daughter and son-in-law don't have that in their budget? If the MIL comes once a year they could pay for a hotel for several years before it would add up to the cost of a mattress.

Also, it's a HUGE leap to say that "so many truly hate the elderly" just from reading the mattress thread. The most you could draw from it is that the OP of that thread, for whatever reason, doesn't want to accommodate his MIL.
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Old 07-23-2014, 10:13 AM
 
Location: Florida
19,837 posts, read 19,932,533 times
Reputation: 23280
The posts that bothered me were the ones implying ( or outright stating) that the MIL ( and other guests)are wrong to complain.
Perhaps younger people don't realize that 'not comfortable to sleep on" can mean absolute pain the whole next day/for the entire trip.
Who wants to subject themselves to something painful?
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Old 07-23-2014, 10:26 AM
 
1,971 posts, read 2,493,561 times
Reputation: 2170
Not once are "the elderly" mentioned in that thread.
The OP doesn't even state how old the MIL is. She could be 48.
Complaining about demanding MILs is as old as time.
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Old 07-23-2014, 10:36 AM
 
Location: Albuquerque NM
1,662 posts, read 1,529,045 times
Reputation: 3650
My parents visited my brother and SIL about 20 years ago (were 70 or so at the time) and had to sleep on an air mattress on the floor in the den. My mom has bad arthritis and was very upset about it. Their kids were 8-12 so not sure why my parents could not have slept in the kid's beds. They only stayed for a couple of nights and decided not to visit again unless they stayed in a hotel. This is my least favorite sibling and I don't care for his wife at all. On the other hand, I've given up my bed several time for my parents or aunts and uncles and slept on the couch. And my two sisters would do the same.

I made a vow at age 50 never to sleep on a relative's couch (but I don't mind my own couch) or air mattress/cot again. This was after a "vacation" sleeping on a thin cot in a living room with two other relatives with no AC and barking dogs all night (semi-rural area). Better to go to hotel. But relatives do try to suck me into staying at their house with the promise of plenty of room and a decent bed that does not always materialize.
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