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Old 07-23-2014, 09:44 AM
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,107 posts, read 45,631,484 times
Reputation: 61722


When the children are grown and gone, the pets have died, and you don't have a job to prove your worth, what coping skills do you find successful?

Kids and grandkids live far away
We're always watching our weight, so I have lost my urge to cook and bake
Our old friends are spread around the country, so frequent socializing is over.
We have both retired early(against our will), although DH has a part time job.
We live in a new state where we don't know anyone to hang out with.
We choose to be pet free right now, so we're freer to come and go, but our travel budget is limited.

We keep pretty content by the fun of working together on home improvement projects, but really, I'm not sure how we'll fill our time when we run out of them.
We have each other, enough money to get by, and fairly good health, but the things we do just seem like filler. They aren't really fulfilling. We miss being important to our kids and our work.
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Old 07-23-2014, 10:07 AM
118 posts, read 140,722 times
Reputation: 283
Volunteer for an organization or cause that you feel passionate about.

I currently work for a nonprofit, and literally volunteered my way into a paid staff position. Best job I have ever had in my life. I am validated every day. But I would not have the job if I had not volunteered first. Several staffers in the organization began as volunteers.

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Old 07-23-2014, 10:29 AM
Status: "Smacking fundies." (set 4 days ago)
Location: Ontario, Canada
25,810 posts, read 13,417,575 times
Reputation: 11675
Ruth's suggestion was one I was going to make. Helping others is a great way to add meaning and fulfillment to our lives.
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Old 07-23-2014, 10:37 AM
Location: Sierra Nevada Land, CA
8,395 posts, read 9,143,473 times
Reputation: 13031
My identity has never been connected to my job. We are connected to our kids thru modern technology. We are connected to the land-we chose to live in the Sierras for a reason. We have made friends here. When I retire, I plan to be connected to the community thru volunteer stuff.

Most important to Mrs5150 and I is our religious connection, which makes us feel relevant despite what the world says.
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Old 07-23-2014, 10:38 AM
3,945 posts, read 3,262,973 times
Reputation: 11315
This lament has been the stuff of numerous posts and thread starters for a long time on CD. I think it's always instructive to look back in human history to the time when work and play kind of overlapped, humans had no word for work for the longest time, laboring WAS life and now we have unreal expectations of being entertained or being "meaningful" as a way of validating our very existence.

You have meaning just for the fact that you have already made your contribution to the grist mill of life, now we need to inculcate a sense of pride in what we once did and relax and rest, or work if that 's what you want. Filling your days needn't be about work for money, there is a ton of activities within every community to make one feel accepted and needed.

On another note, CHANGE, this is what we can count on now, things will be changing all around us and within us, it is how we accept those changes that will determine our contentment.
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Old 07-23-2014, 10:44 AM
Location: Great State of Texas
86,093 posts, read 72,507,006 times
Reputation: 27565
Get yourselves a pet and volunteer.
A small dog isn't as much of a burden on traveling as bigger dogs or other types of pets.
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Old 07-23-2014, 10:53 AM
4,481 posts, read 4,743,078 times
Reputation: 9940
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Old 07-23-2014, 10:58 AM
Location: Orlando
1,986 posts, read 2,636,397 times
Reputation: 7548
You're bored. That's all it is. You need to find some new ways to fill your time, and as has been suggested here, volunteering works well for many people.
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Old 07-23-2014, 11:04 AM
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,569 posts, read 39,952,759 times
Reputation: 23704
invest YOURSELF, & just like any investment... YOU know the value and YOU reap the rewards, tho it is advisable to make those rewards available to others.

I.e. There are MANY families / and / or kids who would TREASURE a grandparent.

I was one of those... and would never have made it in life if it weren't for the valuable investments of others into my life.

You will never know the value you are to others... and that is a good thing
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Old 07-23-2014, 11:04 AM
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,165,475 times
Reputation: 22373
Find something you love doing, and become an "expert" at it. Doesn't matter if anyone else knows you are an "expert."

So many things one can explore and with the internet, we can teach ourselves anything! There are free online courses in every subject imaginable, plus YouTube tutorials.

Suppose you wanted to take up Aromatherapy. There are all sorts of recipes online . . . you can make bath salts and find pretty jars/bottles and give them to folks for gifts this Christmas. Make all natural bug spray. Learn to "cure a headache" with a peppermint concoction.

Find things that interest you and have some fun!

You can do this and volunteer, as well, if that is something that interests you. Work for a food bank. Help out at a hospital gift shop. Volunteer at the local animal shelter.

But again, if you don't want to leave home to volunteer -- find things to do that lift your spirit and make you smile. The world is a big place. Explore - and you can do it online!
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